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Caitlin Clark Indicted For Murder After Fouling Angel Reese
Babylon Bee ^

Posted on 05/20/2025 4:12:39 AM PDT by RoosterRedux

What had been hailed as a potentially Hall of Fame career was cut short at the start of just its second season, as WNBA superstar Caitlin Clark was indicted for murder after fouling Angel Reese.

The incident occurred during a game between the Indiana Fever and the Chicago Sky, with Clark, who has been violently and mercilessly fouled an estimated eight trillion times in the past year, fouling Reese. Although Reese survived and was unharmed, it was announced immediately following the game that Clark had been indicted for her murder.

"The game of basketball is no place for this level of wanton violence," said WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert. "As soon as we saw that Caitlin Clark had committed the foul against Angel Reese and not the other way around, we contacted the authorities to ask for charges to be filed."

The foul, quickly upgraded from a flagrant foul to a federal hate crime, could potentially lead to Clark being placed behind bars for the rest of her life — if she's not publicly executed. "Ms. Clark violated the law being fouling a black player instead of being fouled by a black player," Commissioner Engelbert continued. "We have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to white players fouling black players.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: morecaitlinnews; truthinsatire
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To: .30Carbine

21 posted on 05/20/2025 6:05:08 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: dfwgator

“This is all scripted by the league to try to get people to tune in.”

I hadn’t considered that. Would make sense, but do you have any evidence it’s true?


22 posted on 05/20/2025 6:24:07 AM PDT by Brooklyn Attitude (Trump may be one of our greatest Presidents, if they don't kill him first.)
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

Just instinct.


23 posted on 05/20/2025 6:26:01 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: DAVEY CROCKETT

“The art of basketball is lost....”

*************

Its now show business.


24 posted on 05/20/2025 6:42:28 AM PDT by Starboard
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To: wrcase

Nothing better for marketing than a rivalry. Especially if one is the good guy and the other is the bad guy. (Unfortunately the contrast in skin color promotes the racist narrative for the race hustlers. Even though Paige Bueckers gets the calls more often but she has no counterpart)


25 posted on 05/20/2025 7:36:11 AM PDT by griswold3 (Truth Beauty and Goodness)
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To: OrioleFan

That’s what I saw too. Then Reese comes after Caitlin and Boston pushes Reese away and gets a technical. Caitlin said she would pay the fine for her teammate for having her back.


26 posted on 05/20/2025 8:03:28 AM PDT by kawhill ("The boy's a lot like you. I bet that puckers your red eye. More than you know brother.")
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To: RoosterRedux

Ben Crump just showed in Chiraq to comfort the family, set-up a go fund me account, and prepare for a civil suit.

Ben Crump too stupid to know the Babylon Bee is satire.


27 posted on 05/20/2025 8:10:46 AM PDT by Biblebelter
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

Yes, the white girl is continually hit hard and we’re told it’s just part of the game. The white girl intentionally fouls a black girl hard and now it’s time for a conversation.

Call the wah-mbulance.

Peach


28 posted on 05/20/2025 10:06:08 AM PDT by CarolinaPeach
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