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Kristi Noem Attends Kentucky Derby To See If Any Horses Need To Be Put Down
Babylon Bee ^ | 5-3-25 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 05/03/2025 2:22:14 PM PDT by dynachrome

The annual spectacle and revelry of the world's most famous horse race was interrupted by an awkward moment as Kristi Noem attended the Kentucky Derby to see if any horses needed to be put down.

The South Dakota governor arrived at Churchill Downs decked out in the traditional spectator garb, complete with a festive hat and brandishing a shotgun with which she offered to put any unwanted horses out of their misery.

"Hey, guys! I'm ready to shoot some animals if anyone needs me to! Anyone? Anyone have a bad horse they need me to take care of?" Noem shouted excitedly as she strolled along the lower concourse with her 12-gauge locked and loaded. "I mean it. I'm here to do the hard things. If anybody has a horse they don't want, just say the word. I can take care of that for you. Permanently. I'm dishing out heaping portions of lead salad here, folks. Tell me when."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: aocbeware; babylonbee; derby; horsey; noem; satire
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To: metmom
Hey, she did what probably a lot of people do but never admit it.

If an animal is incapable of being rehabilitated, sometimes there’s nothing else to do.

Most people have probably never lived on a big ranch or farm. These things happen. not often but it does happen out of necessity .

21 posted on 05/03/2025 5:31:04 PM PDT by Irish Eyes
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To: dynachrome
"Kristi Noem Attends Kentucky Derby To See If Any Horses Need To Be Put Down"

MitchMcConnell

Too easy.

22 posted on 05/03/2025 6:01:12 PM PDT by MikelTackNailer (The Houthis get all the Press while the Blowfish go forgotten.)
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To: dynachrome

No horses need to be put down, but I know plenty of horses asses who should be ventilated.


23 posted on 05/03/2025 7:43:12 PM PDT by Schatze (It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.)
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To: reasonisfaith

No its an opinionated comment based on factual information about the woman.


24 posted on 05/03/2025 11:00:41 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: vetvetdoug

Did somebody say: "captive bolt"?

25 posted on 05/04/2025 12:30:15 AM PDT by Theophilus (covfefe)
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To: Theophilus

I wondered if anyone else knew what he used. Today they have blank .22 charges to engage them at the meat packers. I was impressed that he used what appeared to be a CO2 charger.


26 posted on 05/04/2025 6:05:15 AM PDT by vetvetdoug
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To: bigbob; All

That skank would fit right in. Botox lips, padded bra and flashing her Rolex.


27 posted on 05/04/2025 7:25:11 AM PDT by Cobra64 (Common sense isn’t common anymore.)
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To: Georgia Girl 2; All

Me neither. She is an empty-suit. She brags about her tough life on a farm and all we see today is her prancing around with waist length hair, padded boobs, bloated lips and a $50,000 Rolex. She’s made up like a prostitute instead of someone running the DHS. Put her in camo with a 1911 on her hip, driving a HumVee and she’d have credibility as a serious leader of DHS.


28 posted on 05/04/2025 7:31:25 AM PDT by Cobra64 (Common sense isn’t common anymore.)
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To: Cobra64

I have no idea of what possessed Trump to put her in charge of HS.


29 posted on 05/04/2025 7:55:27 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

You have the right to be highly irrational. I would not pretend to take that away from you.


30 posted on 05/04/2025 7:59:13 AM PDT by reasonisfaith (What are the personal implications if the Resurrection of Christ is a true event in history?)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

Her tough life resume is impressive. She is innately attractive. Currently, all makeup and fluff.


31 posted on 05/04/2025 8:13:41 AM PDT by Cobra64 (Common sense isn’t common anymore.)
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To: reasonisfaith

Read her real track record as Governor. Not impressive.


32 posted on 05/04/2025 8:47:25 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

She used to be very pretty until she ruined her face with too much surgery, fillers, and botox.

She has that rounded, shiny look people get. Lara Trump needs to be careful because she is getting there with ruining her face too.


33 posted on 05/04/2025 8:56:22 AM PDT by dforest
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To: metmom
Agreed.

You can't have dogs that kill livestock or bite people. You just can't.

And that kind of dog behavior is not going away.

34 posted on 05/04/2025 10:22:27 AM PDT by Lizavetta
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To: metmom
If an animal is incapable of being rehabilitated, sometimes there’s nothing else to do.

That's the reality in rural America. In fact, the Humane Society will not accept any dogs with a history of biting or killing farm animals such as Kristi's did.

Years ago, a coworker was transferred to our manufacturing plant in Shelbyville, KY. He and his wife bought a house in the country and two huskies. One day the dogs left the property and wandered to a nearby farm where they ultimately killed one of the farmer's cattle.

They of course had to pay restitution to the farmer, but they also had to put down the dogs.

35 posted on 05/04/2025 10:45:08 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco
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To: dynachrome

:)


36 posted on 05/04/2025 1:32:07 PM PDT by ronniesgal ( so is it okay that I said that??? GO TRUMP GO!!!!)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

Trump made Noem Secretary of Homeland Security.

And the sight of her is pure joy.


37 posted on 05/05/2025 5:33:46 PM PDT by reasonisfaith (What are the personal implications if the Resurrection of Christ is a true event in history?)
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