Posted on 04/12/2025 1:11:18 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
Ever wished you could recreate that signature Starbucks coffee taste at home? You can! It's easy, inexpensive, and best of all, tastes just like Starbucks. All you need is a pot of hot water and a heaping mound of cigarette ashes.
First, you'll need to heat up water. Any old tap water will do - simply fill a pot and warm it on the stove until it's hot enough to literally melt your skin off. If it won't burn you on contact right down to your bones, keep heating!
Next, you need to obtain a few cups of cigarette ashes. If you can't score it from a nursing home ashtray, just head down to your local convenience store and get a few packs of Camel cigarettes. Chain smoke those bad boys until you have a solid heap of ash going.
Now, simply place the ashes in a filter and pour the water over it. You will be amazed how much it tastes just like Starbucks, and how much money you'll save. Get smoking!
I agree. Starbucks sells coffee condiments, not coffee.
“Get smoking!”
Lol!
Never understood the attraction to starbucks.......guess my palate just isn’t sophisticated enough.
😆
I’m not trying this even though the chain smoking Camel cigarettes sounds tempting but I will say pouring bourbon over cigarette butts and let it macerate a few days will give you something remarkably resembling some Scotches.
Does it work equally well with Grandpa’s ashes, or only if he was a smoker?
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It is lovely when consecutive posted stories somehow tie into each other if your sense of humour is sufficiently warped.
lol
That’s about right.
Bee nails it.
I’m crap out of luck. don’t know anyone who smokes and picking up ground butts isn’t appealing...butt maybe a more accurate rendition of starbutts coffee.
LOL. I can totally see that. Starbucks is crap coffee.
Lolololol💥💥💥
I will forever know this sludge as StarBURNED coffee. There was a StarBURNED in the open air lobby where I used to work. You couldn’t get within 100 feet of the place without smelling the burned up beans.
Gross.
This is EXACTLY true.
The only good things at Starbucks are all of their non-coffee items.
“Ask the man who drinks it black.”
I had Starbuck’s coffee once....once! A friend offered to buy me one, so I ordered it black....they looked at me like I had a third eye. It was gawdawful.
It tasted like burnt coffee that had been on the hotplate all day.
If you want a good cup of coffee for a lot less....McDonalds.
And skip the line of Biden zombies.
Starbucks is the worst tasting coffee out there. It sucks and is proof idiots will pay big bucks for crap.
I’ve had this flavor at one of my local ones. Couldn’t finish it.
Another way to duplicate Starbucks is to capture a coyote, get it to urinate in a coffee cup, then burn the piss with a torch, then drink it.
Seriously, I’ve tried it, it’s awful to the taste and very expensive. Their pastries are dry and tasteless. I can’t see why people line up to go there.
Whatever happened to the automatic coffee maker at home? You can make any kind of coffee you want, including Starbucks. And you don’t have to make an ass of yourself rushing around trying to get in the Starbucks drive up lane. Or risk being late for work.
Don’t be throwing shade on my Laphroaig.
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