To Avoid Prosecution In Britain, Neil Gaiman Joins Islamic Grooming Gang

BabylonBee.com ^ | Jan 14, 2025 | The Babylon Bee

[E. Pluribus Unum]

LONDON — Authorities in the United Kingdom were outwitted once again this week, as to avoid prosecution on charges of sexual assault, famed author Neil Gaiman joined an Islamic grooming gang.

The writer had come under fire in recent weeks due to accusations from multiple women that he had forced himself on them over the years but would apparently now escape being held accountable for the crimes due to aligning himself with a grooming gang in Rotherham.

"Better luck next time, bobbies!" Gaiman was heard shouting as he taunted police. "I've joined up with these other rapists, and there's nothing you can do about it. Now I'm unprosecutable. Not even Parliament will want to come anywhere near investigating me now. I'll just keep assaulting women with impunity, thank you."

When reached for comment, local law enforcement confirmed that their hands were now tied. "He's quite immune from any accountability now, I'm afraid," said Chief Constable Edward Chillingsworth IV. "We were on the verge of bringing him in to answer for all of these dreadful allegations, but once we heard he had hooked up with the Islamic grooming gang, we knew it was useless. They're all-powerful, don't you know? With all their grooming and raping, that is."

At publishing time, Gaiman told reporters that things would remain business as usual for him. "A little writing here, a little sexual assault there," he said. "Now that I'm protected as a member of the Islamic grooming gang, I've no reason to change my ways."

[Jamestown1630]

My problem with it lies in the matter of proof. A man’s reputation shouldn’t be destroyed without proof.

There appears to be an assertion that he ‘paid off’ one woman (where have we heard that before?) But I don’t see even purported proof of the other allegations - correct me if I’m wrong.

And one of the accusations goes back to the 1980s...

I enjoy the Babylon Bee; but from what I know so far, I don’t think they should have gone here.

[mass55th]

"And one of the accusations goes back to the 1980s..."

And that's part of the problem. I'm a 77 year old woman and have no sympathy for anyone who waits 20-40 years to complain. If it wasn't that important when it happened, then it surely isn't important to bring it up all those years later.

Since Babylon Bee is satire, they were just pointing out the ridiculousness of the UK government ignoring known muslim rape gangs, but singling out a white man over nothing more than allegations. In the UK, not all sexual abusers are treated equally. It all depends on your race and religion.

[Jamestown1630]

Yes, from what I’ve seen in recent years, I think there should be a time limit on how long someone can wait to bring accusations like this.

But that would be a legal issue. As far as I’ve seen, this matter hasn’t gone to law (?)

I still don’t think it was proper material for the BB, because it spotlights Gaiman and appears to assume his culpability.

They have plenty of fodder; and this was wrong.