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9 Great Reasons Christians Should Vote For Kamala Harris
The Babylon Bee ^ | Sep 30, 2024 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/01/2024 5:04:44 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum

Christians, it's time for us to throw our full support behind Kamala Harris for president.

Here are the best reasons to vote for Kamala:

  1. She can't talk very good, just like Moses: She has clearly been chosen by God.

  2. David French is voting for her: As David French goes, so goes all of Christendom.

  3. You can get sent to maximum security prison for protesting an abortion clinic — a great witnessing opportunity: Think of all the good you can do.

  4. Speaking of abortion, murdered babies go straight to Heaven: Don't you want babies in Heaven?

  5. The church has always grown under persecution: We need persecution now more than ever.

  6. God will be impressed by your superior righteousness: If Jesus were here, he would support Kamala to make the Republican party turn on Trump and go back to much better people like Dick Cheney, even if that requires killing thousands of children and letting the world become engulfed in war. It's in the Bible.

  7. She is totally brat: We're not sure what this means, but it's a word the hip kids are saying and we Christians should strive to remain culturally relevant.

  8. She will usher in the end times so that we can meet Jesus sooner: Nice!

  9. Trump is literally Satan: And Hitler and Stalin and Judas.


(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 10/01/2024 5:04:44 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

😂


2 posted on 10/01/2024 5:08:05 PM PDT by PGalt ( Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: PGalt

The BEE has it’s moments, but this is not one of them. Don’t find this funny at all.


3 posted on 10/01/2024 5:12:13 PM PDT by Fungi
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

LOL!


4 posted on 10/01/2024 5:14:17 PM PDT by texanyankee
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To: E. Pluribus Unum
Don't you want babies in Heaven?

Will they cry? If yes, no.

5 posted on 10/01/2024 5:14:21 PM PDT by Libloather (Why do climate change hoax deniers live in mansions on the beach?)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

And she loves yellow school busses. Only a Philistine or a scientologist could hate yellow school busses.


6 posted on 10/01/2024 5:16:02 PM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Lol


7 posted on 10/01/2024 5:16:18 PM PDT by Freeleesy
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To: Fungi
Nobody bats a thousand.

Generally, the Bee is pretty close.

8 posted on 10/01/2024 5:16:57 PM PDT by sjmjax
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

“murdered babies go straight to Heaven”

That is not exactly an agreed point in Catholic theology. While the post-Vatican II crowd has expressed that this can be hoped for, the more traditional view is that they end up in Limbo. Preventing baptisms may, from this perspective, explain the satanic obsession with promoting abortion.


9 posted on 10/01/2024 5:19:59 PM PDT by Stingray51 ( )
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To: Fungi

Nor do I.


10 posted on 10/01/2024 5:29:04 PM PDT by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

I’m sorry, but this just hits too close to home.


11 posted on 10/01/2024 5:29:37 PM PDT by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

10. Jesus said the meek shall inherit the earth. Most people don’t know what “meek” means, so it goes well with Kamala’s word salad.


12 posted on 10/01/2024 5:54:30 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Fungi

Maybe the B is making fun of all the “Christians” who say they are voting for Commiela.

Probably a fake group of propagandists hired by the evil Marxist Democrats.


13 posted on 10/01/2024 6:10:48 PM PDT by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and harder to find.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

😊


14 posted on 10/01/2024 6:15:17 PM PDT by faithhopecharity ("Politicians aren't born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: E. Pluribus Unum
#3 and 4

15 posted on 10/01/2024 6:17:38 PM PDT by daniel1212 (Turn 2 the Lord Jesus who saves damned+destitute sinners on His acct, believe, b baptized+follow HIM)
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To: Tell It Right

Meek people? Probably means poor. And commiela will make everyone except her and her cronies poor.


16 posted on 10/01/2024 6:20:59 PM PDT by TheThirdRuffian (Orange is the new brown in)
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To: TheThirdRuffian

Meekness is actually power or influence held in check.


17 posted on 10/01/2024 7:38:05 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Tell It Right

It’s a joke.


18 posted on 10/02/2024 3:28:35 AM PDT by TheThirdRuffian (Orange is the new brown in)
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To: TheThirdRuffian

My bad. lol


19 posted on 10/02/2024 4:09:23 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

When I saw the title, I thought this would be an article written by one of those goofball “Christians” who couldn’t possibly vote for Trump.

Thank God it’s the Bee!


20 posted on 10/02/2024 4:16:34 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (FBI out of Florida!)
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