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Imane Khelif Wins First-Ever Gold Medal In Freestyle Domestic Violence
The Bee ^ | August 1, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 08/01/2024 5:16:08 PM PDT by Navy Patriot

PARIS — Algerian boxer Imane Khelif made history this week by becoming the first-ever Olympian to win the gold medal in the new Freestyle Domestic Violence event.

"This is for all of us," an emotional Khelif said, raising his bloody fist triumphantly as the broken body of his small female opponent lay before him. "I'm proud that my superior man-shoulders and bone structure gave me the ability to beat up this small woman. This is what the sport of freestyle domestic violence is all about."

According to doctors, the genetically male Khelif has higher testosterone and XY chromosomes that make him a killing machine. He has dominated the amateur Domestic Violence circuit, but this is the first time a similar event has made its way to the Olympics.

"Today, I make history as the first professional woman beater to win a gold medal specifically for beating a woman!" a breathless Khelif said as he wiped blood off his gloves. "I'm a brave pioneer!"

"It's — it's my fault," his combatant said as she cried. "I fell down the stairs and into a doorknob really hard, that's all." The sportsmanship she exhibited earned her the silver medal.

At publishing time, Imane Khelif also brought home gold in Freestyle Mansplaining.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Education; History
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
Finally an Olympic Event entirely endorsed by Liberal Socialists!
1 posted on 08/01/2024 5:16:08 PM PDT by Navy Patriot
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To: Navy Patriot

South Park and the Babylon Bee - tomorrow’s news today.


2 posted on 08/01/2024 5:28:40 PM PDT by FatherofFive (we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor)
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To: Navy Patriot
Finally an Olympic Event entirely endorsed by Liberal Socialists!

I attended the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles. Not one female Olympic athlete had the cr*p beaten out of her. How quaint and politically backwards that now seems.

3 posted on 08/01/2024 5:35:26 PM PDT by TChad
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To: Navy Patriot

I boxed in my late teens and 20s. I was ok. Nothing great.

I started getting headaches after about 5 years and stopped.

I’ve also had a few girlfriend hit me in my lifetime. I dont recall the exact reasons but I’m sure I deserved it :)

They were pretty angry AND they didn’t have gloves on.

obviously, I never hit back

Being on the receiving end of male and female punches, I dont know the words to describe how much more powerful a man’s punch is.

Sometimes I felt like I was getting hit with a baseball bat, not human fists.

It Breaks My Heart that a woman was hit with such force.

The west has gone mad.


4 posted on 08/01/2024 5:36:28 PM PDT by dp0622 (Tried a coup, a fake tax story, tramp slander, Russia nonsense, impeachment and a virus. They lost.)
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To: Navy Patriot

That’s about right.


5 posted on 08/01/2024 5:37:54 PM PDT by vpintheak (Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the bug. )
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To: Navy Patriot

Apparently the boxer has Swyers syndrome. Xy chromosomes bht has female orgasm but no ovaries… she was barred from fighting previously because of elevated testosterone levels… not quite as black and white as first thiught


6 posted on 08/01/2024 5:39:29 PM PDT by bike800
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To: Navy Patriot

I laughed out loud in a restaurant.


7 posted on 08/01/2024 5:40:25 PM PDT by WeaslesRippedMyFlesh (there will come a day when FR rejects articles from the NYT, et. al. as "Commie trash, no thank you")
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To: bike800

He/she failed two genetic sex determination tests. As a true genetic hermaphrodite, who are normally sterile, I’m sorry nature played a trick on her, but she shouldn’t be competing as a woman.


8 posted on 08/01/2024 5:45:18 PM PDT by jonascord (First rule of the Dunning-Kruger Club is that you do not know you are in the Dunning-Kruger club.)
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To: Navy Patriot

Babylon Bee knocks it out of the park
again


9 posted on 08/01/2024 6:44:35 PM PDT by SisterK (it's controlled demolition)
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; BraveMan; cardinal4; ...
Babylon Bee.

10 posted on 08/01/2024 6:50:23 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (Putin should skip ahead to where he kills himself in the bunker.)
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To: Navy Patriot

He will be a fine bacha bahzi boy when he gets back home.


11 posted on 08/01/2024 6:51:43 PM PDT by Organic Panic (Democrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes)
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To: bike800

The ovaries weren’t doing the punching but the DNA sure was. HE should never have been on the XX team. The Olympics is dead to me.


12 posted on 08/01/2024 7:35:43 PM PDT by bgill
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To: Navy Patriot

Aren’t jihadist’s supposed to throw gays off of tall buildings?


13 posted on 08/01/2024 7:40:27 PM PDT by fella ("As it was before Noah so shall it be again," )
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To: bike800

It is clear.

In the old sex tests for sport endeavors, they tested for chromosomes in body. Anybody having any Y chromosome present in any form was deemed male. Totally deterministic and totally right. But, sadly, also unchangeable.

The transgenders complained, so now they test for enzyme levels, which can be changed with proper treatments.

I would stick with the old test!

Yes, there are some hermaphrodites and similar half male, half female syndromes, but those people are welcomed to compete in the male categories!


14 posted on 08/01/2024 8:41:57 PM PDT by AZJeep
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To: Navy Patriot

Yahoo would not allow comments about this that were negative.


15 posted on 08/02/2024 1:39:20 AM PDT by minnesota_bound (Need more money to buy everything now)
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To: minnesota_bound
Yahoo would not allow comments about this that were negative.

Well, we all know that like Google, Yahoo is EVIL.

16 posted on 08/02/2024 10:01:25 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: fella
Aren’t jihadist’s supposed to throw gays off of tall buildings?

Yes, because short buildings don't always work.

17 posted on 08/02/2024 10:06:26 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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