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New White House Doctor Sadly Informs Biden Only Cure For COVID Is Euthanasia
The Babylon Bee ^ | Jul 18, 2024 | Babylon Bee Staff

Posted on 07/18/2024 2:48:43 PM PDT by packagingguy

Washington sources report that the White House received "a real downer of a prognosis" yesterday after Dr. Pillary Schminton informed President Biden that the only known cure for COVID is euthanasia.

Dr. Schminton, who received formal training in Canada, said that — despite the seeming cruelty of it all — euthanasia is the only responsible choice for treating the President's terrible case of COVID-19.

"I'm so sorry to say, this is totally fatal," Dr. Schminton reportedly said. "The only thing we have left to do is keep the poor fellow comfortable and inject him with morphine until he just slips quietly into the sweet embrace of dropping out of the race, er, I mean, death."

According to White House insiders, the top Democrat leaders who had hired Dr. Schminton were utterly shocked by the diagnosis.

"What? Oh no," gasped Vice-President Kamala Harris, as a cackle tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Euthanasia? No, Joe! We've got to do it! I'm so sorry old buddy…we've been through so much together! I'll miss you so dearly!"

Reports say that Dr. Jill Biden attempted to use her Doctorate of Education to offer a second opinion, but she was quickly hustled out of the White House and into an unmarked black SUV before she could give a comment. President Biden was unavailable for comment, as he was being forcibly quarantined.

At publishing time, Democrat leaders had Dr. Schminton hard at work putting together a certificate of death to release after the president's COVID treatment was completed.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; covid; hillary
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Well, well. Dr. Pillary Schminton has bad news for the President.

So will it be Cankles or Cackles for President?

1 posted on 07/18/2024 2:48:43 PM PDT by packagingguy
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lol — helping to keep an insane world sane


2 posted on 07/18/2024 2:50:28 PM PDT by Gene Eric (Don't be a statist! )
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To: packagingguy

Libtards would still vote for him


3 posted on 07/18/2024 2:50:43 PM PDT by NWFree (Somebody has to say it 🤪)
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To: packagingguy

Yes!

CANKLES CACKLES 2024

Bumper stickers galore.


4 posted on 07/18/2024 2:50:56 PM PDT by House Atreides (I’m now ULTRA-MAGA-PRO-MAX)
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To: packagingguy

Just a “late term abortion.”

No problem. Biden supports it.


5 posted on 07/18/2024 2:52:17 PM PDT by tired&retired (Blessings )
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To: packagingguy

Look man, I mean come on, it’s all about dropping with dignity.


6 posted on 07/18/2024 2:52:24 PM PDT by Theophilus (covfefe)
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To: packagingguy

Call Ventilator One!


7 posted on 07/18/2024 2:52:45 PM PDT by Indy Pendance (“A bullet couldn't stop Trump. A virus just stopped Biden.”)
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To: Indy Pendance

Canadian National Healthcare?


8 posted on 07/18/2024 2:54:40 PM PDT by Colt1851Navy (What was wrong with Nixon?)
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To: packagingguy

That is just malarkey from a dog-faced pony soldier!


9 posted on 07/18/2024 2:58:09 PM PDT by wildcard_redneck (He who sacrifices freedom for security deserves neither.)
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To: packagingguy

Somebody get Kristi Noem on the phone!


10 posted on 07/18/2024 3:01:17 PM PDT by slumber1 (Islam delenda est)
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To: packagingguy

Has he even visited that country? It’s near Uzbekistan, right?


11 posted on 07/18/2024 3:06:45 PM PDT by SkyDancer ( ~ Am Yisrael Chai ~)
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To: slumber1

Hahahahaha...... 😂😂😂


12 posted on 07/18/2024 3:09:14 PM PDT by ANKE69 ( Beware of zeeper doxxing !!!!!! )
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To: Gene Eric

He served his purpose as a placemarker for Hillary, Bill, and Obama. He will vote for another 24 years.


13 posted on 07/18/2024 3:11:03 PM PDT by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and harder to find.)
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To: packagingguy

Skip the morphine injection. Give him a shot of Dr.Fauxci’s Remdesivir!


14 posted on 07/18/2024 3:12:08 PM PDT by parmamenian (and so it goes!)
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To: packagingguy
"Dr. Pillary Schminton"

ROFLMAO :-D

15 posted on 07/18/2024 3:54:24 PM PDT by EnderWiggin1970
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To: packagingguy

Dr Jill will be administering his medication.


16 posted on 07/18/2024 3:56:53 PM PDT by George J. Jetso
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To: Gene Eric

Follow the science!


17 posted on 07/18/2024 4:00:20 PM PDT by cgbg ("Our democracy" = Their Kleptocracy)
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To: packagingguy

Ventilator, with an IV drip of remdesivir.


18 posted on 07/18/2024 4:27:28 PM PDT by OKSooner (FREE BANNON!!!)
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To: packagingguy

I thought his doctor was Zeke Emanuel.

(Kill anyone over 75)


19 posted on 07/18/2024 5:48:55 PM PDT by Organic Panic (SDemocrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes)
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To: packagingguy
"New White House Doctor Sadly Informs Biden Only Cure For COVID Is Euthanasia"

Biden would just say he's been in Asia.
20 posted on 07/18/2024 7:13:32 PM PDT by clearcarbon (Fraudulent elections have consequences.)
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