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Libertarian Party Nominates Giant Gay Bong
Babylon Bee ^ | May 27, 2024

Posted on 05/28/2024 8:28:59 AM PDT by Angelino97

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Libertarian Party has concluded its convention and nominated its latest presidential candidate: a 20-foot-tall, rainbow-colored, glass bong.

The gay, oversized marijuana smoking device edged out candidates RFK Jr., Donald Trump, and Sparklepaws the Transgender Furry to secure the coveted nomination to run for President this November.

"Never has the Libertarian Party chosen a candidate that better represents its values, ambitions, and intellect," said Party Chair Angela McArdle while tripping on the complimentary edibles that were passed out at the convention. "I think it's even possible our beautiful glass candidate could secure up to .03% of the vote this year!"

McArdle's proclamation was met with a chorus of boos from people in the crowd who thought .03% was a little too much, making the glass bong too mainstream for their liking.

The large rainbow-striped, cannabis water pipe is running on a platform of ending the Fed, lowering taxes, and aborting kids, transing kids, giving drugs to kids, and letting unaccompanied kids cross the southern border.

At publishing time, The Libertarian Party had sought to withdraw the nomination after it was revealed their new candidate wasn't interested in eliminating age of consent laws.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 05/28/2024 8:28:59 AM PDT by Angelino97
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To: Angelino97

yeah, those age of consent laws are real liberty-killers

/s


2 posted on 05/28/2024 8:34:22 AM PDT by faithhopecharity (“Politicians are not born. They're excreted.” Marcus Tillius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: faithhopecharity

It’s Fourteen or Fight.


3 posted on 05/28/2024 8:36:06 AM PDT by BipolarBob (it's easier to fool the people than to convince them they've been fooled.)
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To: Angelino97

“Sparklepaws”. LOL!


4 posted on 05/28/2024 8:37:26 AM PDT by sauropod ("This is a time when people reveal themselves for who they are." James O'Keefe Ne supra crepidam)
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To: BipolarBob

RIGHT ON!

smiles


5 posted on 05/28/2024 8:37:54 AM PDT by faithhopecharity (“Politicians are not born. They're excreted.” Marcus Tillius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: Angelino97

for authenticity, the mouthpiece should be penis shaped.


6 posted on 05/28/2024 8:40:16 AM PDT by going hot (Happiness is a Momma deuce)
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To: going hot
> for authenticity, the mouthpiece should be penis shaped.

Such do exist. Google images, safe search off. Just sayin'...

7 posted on 05/28/2024 9:28:59 AM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: Angelino97

The Lib Party is now run by perverts.


8 posted on 05/28/2024 9:42:27 AM PDT by chopperk (are)
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To: going hot

Gads..... my first read wasn’t bong but it rhymed with it.


9 posted on 05/28/2024 11:00:34 AM PDT by LastDayz (A blunt and brazen Texan. I will not be assimilated.)
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To: Angelino97

This would help Trump.

If it were real.

Many a Nazi type would prefer the bong to Biden and would virtue signal to all their lefty friends that they could not vote for Trump the MAGA freedom extremest or Biden the Jew lover….so the bong is it!

The Libertarians will vote for Trump.


10 posted on 05/28/2024 11:09:10 AM PDT by right way right (May we remain sober over mere men, for God really is our only true hope. )
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To: right way right
> The Libertarians will vote for Trump.

That would be fine. Big-L Libertarian Party members are welcome to walk away from the LP goofiness and vote for Trump.

Meanwhile, I suspect the small-l libertarians are already prepared to vote for Trump because continuing with Biden is simply catastrophic, and while Trump isn't a perfect fit for anybody's political position except his own, he's close enough to maybe save America from destroying herself entirely.

11 posted on 05/28/2024 11:41:23 AM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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