Posted on 05/28/2024 8:28:59 AM PDT by Angelino97
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Libertarian Party has concluded its convention and nominated its latest presidential candidate: a 20-foot-tall, rainbow-colored, glass bong.
The gay, oversized marijuana smoking device edged out candidates RFK Jr., Donald Trump, and Sparklepaws the Transgender Furry to secure the coveted nomination to run for President this November.
"Never has the Libertarian Party chosen a candidate that better represents its values, ambitions, and intellect," said Party Chair Angela McArdle while tripping on the complimentary edibles that were passed out at the convention. "I think it's even possible our beautiful glass candidate could secure up to .03% of the vote this year!"
McArdle's proclamation was met with a chorus of boos from people in the crowd who thought .03% was a little too much, making the glass bong too mainstream for their liking.
The large rainbow-striped, cannabis water pipe is running on a platform of ending the Fed, lowering taxes, and aborting kids, transing kids, giving drugs to kids, and letting unaccompanied kids cross the southern border.
At publishing time, The Libertarian Party had sought to withdraw the nomination after it was revealed their new candidate wasn't interested in eliminating age of consent laws.
yeah, those age of consent laws are real liberty-killers
/s
It’s Fourteen or Fight.
“Sparklepaws”. LOL!
RIGHT ON!
smiles
for authenticity, the mouthpiece should be penis shaped.
Such do exist. Google images, safe search off. Just sayin'...
The Lib Party is now run by perverts.
Gads..... my first read wasn’t bong but it rhymed with it.
This would help Trump.
If it were real.
Many a Nazi type would prefer the bong to Biden and would virtue signal to all their lefty friends that they could not vote for Trump the MAGA freedom extremest or Biden the Jew lover….so the bong is it!
The Libertarians will vote for Trump.
That would be fine. Big-L Libertarian Party members are welcome to walk away from the LP goofiness and vote for Trump.
Meanwhile, I suspect the small-l libertarians are already prepared to vote for Trump because continuing with Biden is simply catastrophic, and while Trump isn't a perfect fit for anybody's political position except his own, he's close enough to maybe save America from destroying herself entirely.
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