Terrorists Learn Harsh Lesson That If You Rape And Murder Women, The United Nations Will Give You Your Own Country And A Billion Dollars

GAZA — Terrorists across the globe faced the bitter reality today that if they rape and murder hundreds of women, the United Nations will give them a country to operate and billions of dollars.

"Today, we have put terrorists on notice," declared Secretary General António Guterres to the United Nations General Assembly. "Let it be known that the consequences of mass rape and murder will be swift, and in the form of cash."

Terrorist organizations reeled from the shocking news, stunned by the United Nation's dramatic action. "My English not so good, let me be sure I understand," said terrorist Mohammed Deif. "We do nothing, get no money. We rape women, United Nations give us money? You are sure?" asked Deif, clearly dazed by the harsh new reality. "And you say if shoot children, we get to run country? Well, okay... if we must go rape women and shoot kids, we must. Bye-bye."

The Biden administration has thrown its full support behind the move, vowing to hunt down every single terrorist and personally give them a suitcase of cash. "We will not sit idly by as ruthless barbarians film themselves raping women and butchering children," declared Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "We will ensure those murderous psychopaths receive their just due - a country to plan more attacks from, and the cash for more ammo and GoPro cameras. There will no more warnings, only cash."

At publishing time, billionaire terrorist leaders living in Qatar had learned the devastating news that they would be receiving millions more dollars for their role in financing mass rape.

Do you get away with stealing elections because you sniff kids hair?

2 posted on 05/25/2024 10:06:12 AM PDT by Nateman (Democrats did not strive for fraud friendly voting merely to continue honest elections.)

Ship the UN to Ukraine, then ship the Muslims in Israel to the UN.

3 posted on 05/25/2024 10:10:52 AM PDT by Dogbert41 (“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” -Matthew 5:9)

Bee sting. OUCH

4 posted on 05/25/2024 10:57:02 AM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)

President Retard gave them more than that

5 posted on 05/25/2024 11:02:19 AM PDT by NWFree (Somebody has to say it 🤪)

The ‘pier’ to help feed Gaza floated away too. Our DEI folks will get it back and moved soon.

6 posted on 05/25/2024 11:38:43 AM PDT by GOPJ (Trump's deplorables welcome the Bronx clowns to the family... )

Again the Bee’s attempts at satire stumble into real news reporting.

7 posted on 05/25/2024 11:39:15 AM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus…)

8 posted on 05/25/2024 11:40:23 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)

The Bee stung the DRIVE BY MEDIA again!!

9 posted on 05/25/2024 3:34:54 PM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (Guns don't kill people, LIBERALS DO!! Support the Second Amendment...)

To: GOPJ; AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; BraveMan; ...

10 posted on 05/26/2024 9:57:51 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (Putin should skip ahead to where he kills himself in the bunker.)

Again the Bee’s attempts at satire stumble into real news reporting.

Yeah, you'd think they would have learned by now.

11 posted on 05/26/2024 10:15:17 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)

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