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Trump Assures Jury Stormy Daniels Was Way Hotter Back Then
Babylon Bee ^ | May 10, 2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/11/2024 9:27:07 AM PDT by dayglored

NEW YORK CITY, NY — Former President Donald Trump made sure members of the jury in the Stormy Daniels hush money trial knew the adult film actress was much much hotter when he first met her.

"She was an eight or a nine back then, let me tell you," Trump explained to members of the jury. "Now she's a bit of a dog; Dogface Daniels, that's what they call her. But not when I met her, I would never touch a dog, not a dog guy. Not that I did touch her…but if I had…she was smokin'. Don't know what happened."

Trump assured members of the jury Daniels was much more attractive ten years ago after the two met at Mar-A-Lago. Daniels took to the stand Thursday in an ongoing hush money case many in the legal field call "totally legit and not at all cooked up by Trump's political enemies."

"She was a babe. Trust me, do I look like a guy who would go after a nasty woman that looks like that," Trump said, pointing to where Daniels was seated. "Not that I ‘went after her', but if I had, she's changed since then. Probably because she got old. I don't go after old women…gross."

As of publishing time, Judge Juan M. Merchan warned Trump that if the former president continued to bark every time Daniels took the stand he would hold him in contempt.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; dogfacedaniels; satire; spermydaniels; stormydaniels; trump
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To: dayglored

Even Slow Joe knows she is a Lying Dogfaced Pony Soldier who is willing to say or do anything for cash. That’s why Joe loves her.


21 posted on 05/11/2024 11:30:23 AM PDT by MIchaelTArchangel
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To: dayglored

From plastic to melted plastic.


22 posted on 05/11/2024 11:31:18 AM PDT by throwthebumsout
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To: All

Trump added.....”her boobs were so big, they had their own zip code.”


23 posted on 05/11/2024 11:33:15 AM PDT by Liz (This then is how we should pray: Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. )
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To: dayglored
The Picture of Dorian Gray?

-PJ

24 posted on 05/11/2024 11:34:28 AM PDT by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: dayglored

She was always a walking virus. Trump would not even have shaken hands with that thing.


25 posted on 05/11/2024 11:36:34 AM PDT by UnwashedPeasant (The pandemic we suffer from is not COVID. It is Marxist Democrat Leftism.)
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To: dayglored

I would never touch a dog, not a dog guy....


26 posted on 05/11/2024 11:38:21 AM PDT by newfreep ("There is no race problem...just a problem race")
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To: Liz
”her boobs were so big, Letitia James said they were over-valued.”

-PJ

27 posted on 05/11/2024 11:39:43 AM PDT by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: Laslo Fripp; dayglored

People call me a real character, so if I am witness too, then it fits. 😊


28 posted on 05/11/2024 12:05:55 PM PDT by Lazamataz (To anyone who also wants to see the Stealth Liberal 'joesbucks' banned, contact me by Freepmail. )
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To: dayglored

She really is a dog even if she wasn’t a sleezeball she”s still old fat bag


29 posted on 05/11/2024 1:24:18 PM PDT by NWFree (Sigma male 🤪)
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To: dayglored

If the former president continued to bark every time Daniels took the stand he would hold him in contempt.

Even arf arf arf sounds coming from Joan rivers box.


30 posted on 05/11/2024 1:31:14 PM PDT by Vaduz
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To: dayglored

Was she? Never was my type. Never will be.


31 posted on 05/11/2024 1:58:20 PM PDT by del griffith
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To: dayglored

That’s funny right there. I don’t care who you are. LOL!


32 posted on 05/11/2024 2:48:49 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Weird how the invading hordes of illegal foreign deadbeats didn't start until FJB took the throne.)
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To: Vaduz

He should have brought a Frisbee into the court room. No way they could have kept her on the witness stand.


33 posted on 05/11/2024 3:34:20 PM PDT by del griffith
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To: dayglored

So how much money is Soros paying Stormy Daniels?


34 posted on 05/11/2024 3:39:02 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
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To: MinorityRepublican

Enough, apparently.


35 posted on 05/11/2024 3:46:12 PM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: dayglored
Kind of reminds me of the trippy animation from The Wall. Here's one example:


36 posted on 05/12/2024 12:20:38 AM PDT by Blue Highway
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To: dayglored
I was watching Fox News The Five when these sketches were first seen and they had a side by side of that sketch and Marie Harf was commenting and it kind of looked like a picture of her. My first impression when I saw that sketch was of this witch:


37 posted on 05/12/2024 12:33:24 AM PDT by Blue Highway
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To: del griffith

She was useless they have nothing to work with so all they have is a wish list full of holes only hope the have is a crooked lap dog judge.


38 posted on 05/12/2024 6:04:13 AM PDT by Vaduz
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To: Vaduz

Heard an interesting interview. One of Trump’s lawyers during impeachment 2 said he has gone before the judge in other cases including one for Trump before this judge. I was surprised. The lawyer said the judge was fair & easy to work with.


39 posted on 05/12/2024 11:36:34 AM PDT by del griffith
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To: del griffith

The lawyer said the judge was fair & easy to work with.

His gag order proves him to be a liar his court room is ran like a witch hunt.


40 posted on 05/12/2024 1:26:38 PM PDT by Vaduz
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