Posted on 04/21/2024 6:46:48 PM PDT by DoodleBob
Ah, the office – a place where language goes to get dressed in a suit and tie, only to trip over its own shoelaces. Here are 21 phrases that we’ve all heard ad nauseam, and if we’re being honest, wouldn’t miss if they were banished from the corporate lexicon forever:
#1. “Touch Base”
Because nothing says “I don’t actually play baseball” like using a sports metaphor to schedule a meeting.
#2. “Reach Out”
What are we, in a 90s boy band? Just say “I’ll send you an email” and leave the emotional ballads out of it.
#3. “Circle Back”
Less reminiscent of a productive workplace strategy, more an endless loop of doom where nothing ever gets resolved.
#4. “Synergize”
The verbal equivalent of a corporate trust fall. It’s supposed to mean teamwork but sounds more like a new age retreat.
#5. “Think Outside the Box”
If we had a nickel for every time this was said, we could construct a very large, very square box to trap the phrase in forever.
#6. “Leverage”
Originally a physics term, now just a fancy way of saying “use.” Because why use simple words when you can sound like a Wall Street tycoon?
#7. “Paradigm Shift”
Nothing quite like invoking the cosmos to describe changing the office printer.
#8. “Deep Dive”
Not a thrilling ocean adventure, but an overly long meeting about statistics. Bring a snorkel.
#9. “Bandwidth”
Unless you work at NASA, you’re probably just talking about time. Spoiler: nobody’s downloading you.
#10. “Low-Hanging Fruit”
Great for describing apples, less so for the easily achievable tasks that somehow still aren’t done.
#11. “Move the Needle”
Unless we’re all suddenly DJs, can we agree to just say “make progress”?
#12. “Boil the Ocean”
An epic quest to accomplish the impossible, or just corporate speak for trying to do way too much? You decide.
#13. “Take it Offline”
Because apparently, talking in person is now akin to being in airplane mode.
#14. “Win-Win Situation”
A mythical scenario, much like a unicorn, where everyone is happy and nobody’s spreadsheet gets rejected.
15. “On My Radar”
Unless you’re air traffic control, let’s stick to “I’m aware of it.”
#16. “Ping Me”
Not a game of table tennis, just a request for a message. Sadly, paddles are not involved.
#17. “Drill Down”
A phrase that makes you feel like you’re in for some serious dental work, rather than a closer look at the details.
#18. “Game Changer”
Overused to the point of meaninglessness. Changing the game or just changing the PowerPoint template?
#19. “At the End of the Day”
Spoiler: It’s night. Also, a filler phrase that’s the verbal equivalent of shrugging.
#20. “It’s on My Plate”
Because “I’m working on it” wasn’t foodie enough.
#21. “Ecosystem”
Unless we’re discussing the rainforest, can we agree our office plant doesn’t constitute an ecosystem?
So, next time you catch yourself using one of these phrases, take a moment to laugh, then say what you mean. After all, clear communication is the key to success, not the ability to speak in buzzwords.
“Boil the Ocean” is used a lot at my work. It means going overboard and doing much more than is required for the task.
Corporate buzzword:"climate change"
“Impactful”
“This space”
There’s also “kindly” and “on priority”. I’ve also gotten “many lakh thanks” occasionally.
“I use most of these actually with colleagues and family...”
Using the word “actually” should be preceded by, and followed by, a comma.
I actually can’t believe you used the word actually.
Reading your comment about your speech habit brings to mind the words “trite” and “cliche”, actually.
Maybe you should run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.
I think we’re “getting way out over our skis, here” people.
Now I remember hearing it! I worked with lots of Indians at several companies.
"Running out of runway"
"Decisioning"
"Take it offline"
"Leverage efficiencies"
Ministered! I’ve never heard it but already I totally agree with you!
How about “Get back to work you worthless maggots!”
#1. “Touch Base” - I’m not sure that actually is a baseball metaphor. I think it is a Gen-X repurposing of the millenials ‘get real’. ‘Touch base’ has now been repurposed by the Gen-Zs to ‘touch grass’. All still mean get closer to reality.
Language is weird sometimes ...
If parents spoke to kids in office jargon…… LOL
https://youtu.be/GCNQMB5EuzE?si=j2Tq8PV8Uu1ElYPp
And some on here wonder why people like working from home.
Yes. Fads. "NOT!"
“Move the Needle” is just so analog it’s out of style
Arrgghhh! “Impactful” makes my teeth hurt! So does using "impact" as a verb instead of "affect", like "How will this impact the bottom line?" Just stop!
"Issue" was mentioned previously. It's a weasel word because "problem" has too much of an impact.
"Reach out" grates on my nerves, but you wanna know what I really hate? "Connect" instead of "meet". "We'll connect later" No- we're going to MEET later, Captain Buzzword!
Another I hate; you see this in e-mails: I am "looping you in." No thanks. I would rather you just "include" me.
If I were ever in a position of authority, I would issue an e-mail banning buzzwords, but it would probably be a big issue to people because it would be impactful to their fragile psyches and limited intellect. If they don't like it, they can reach out and connect with a mental health professional.
“Mistakes were made”...
Back in the 90’s, tech support came out with a “Transmorgaphier” to interface a new microprocessor to an old system.
We thought it was a good idea but a crazy name.
I’ve heard the phrase about something being cracking good, or let’s crack on. Seems very British.
That’s not the intention of those who name a recipe something like Crockpot Chocolate Crack dessert. That reference is to crack cocaine and implies the recipe is as addictive as crack cochise.
Peach
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.