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Court Flips Coin To See If Texas Allowed To Enforce Laws Today
BabylonBee.com ^ | 3-20-2024 | Bee Staff

Posted on 03/20/2024 10:26:54 AM PDT by servo1969

U.S. โ€” Leaders in the Lone Star State awoke this morning eager to learn how they would be able to address the border crisis as a federal court once again flipped a coin to see if Texas would be allowed to enforce laws today.

The daily routine, consisting of finding out whether law enforcement officers would have the power to enforce laws depending on the whims of different federal judges, has swung wildly from one day to the next, leaving Texas officials wondering which side of the argument currently had the advantage.

"Step right up for the daily coin flip to determine if laws can be enforced!" shouted the bailiff as the court session began. "Place your bets on whether or not the court will rule that laws actually exist for a specific purpose or if they're just arbitrary statements written mindlessly in a book somewhere for no reason."

With thousands of migrants crossing the border illegally each day and the federal government refusing to take action, Texas sought to create its own solutions before hitting legal roadblocks. "It's actually become a fun game," one Texas official said. "We make bets. Steve over there had made a killing. It's a toss-up every day as to whether we can enforce laws or not."

At publishing time, the federal court was reportedly preparing to install a large game show-style wheel in the courthouse to generate even more excitement and suspense for the daily decision on whether Texas was allowed to keep itself from being invaded by foreign countries.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylon; babylonbee; border; coin; court; flip; immigration; law; satire; texas

1 posted on 03/20/2024 10:26:54 AM PDT by servo1969
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To: servo1969

Ignore the lower courts and start catapult ops to send ‘em back.


2 posted on 03/20/2024 10:48:31 AM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this๐Ÿ’ฉ? ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’‰! ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‘!)
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To: rktman

The courts have beclowned themselves. This Babylon Bee satire is also literally true in almost every sense.

Ignore them and carry on.


3 posted on 03/20/2024 10:57:06 AM PDT by hopespringseternal
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To: hopespringseternal

After all, ignoring courts is standard procedure for democommies......


4 posted on 03/20/2024 11:11:25 AM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this๐Ÿ’ฉ? ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’‰! ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‘!)
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To: servo1969
May as well flip a coin. We have probably already descended into anarchy:

I think I have this right, let's see.

The State of Texas took action to protect itself from illegals and passed a law allowing the state to arrest and deport illegals.

A lower court declared the state law unconstitutional

Upon appeal by the State three judge panel of the 5th circuit court found against Texas and ruled the state law unconstitutional

This Monday the supreme court of the US upheld the stay against Texas by the 5th circuit

This Tuesday the supreme court found in favor of Texas reversing themselves and the 5th circuit

This Tuesday evening a second three judge panel of the 5th circuit court took the authority to reverse the supreme court and uphold the original stay against the State of Texas

A federal judge now rules illegals have legal rights to carry a gun in this country, try that in any other country and see where it gets you. The supreme court now rules that illegals have the right to appeal deportation orders? What part of their status is not obvious? The court will not charge a biological male for leering at six-year olds in a YMCA locker room because he claims to be a female? The judge in the Trump case by Smith has put him in a corner so he now demands the judge be removed? Bet it happens.

These things are events of just the first two days of this week, there are more just this week.

Do any of these people care that they have become the authors of confusion and anarchy? The government is no longer upholding the agreement we made to allow their governance.

5 posted on 03/20/2024 11:37:15 AM PDT by Sequoyah101 (Procrastination is just a form of defiance)
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To: servo1969
The law has made a mockery of itself and doesn't care one bit.

Get out the roulette wheel or a gun with one round. Spin away.

Rule-of-law is how the Brits were able to manage India. Decay of rule-of-law is how the uprisings began and how they lost India.

6 posted on 03/20/2024 11:39:57 AM PDT by Sequoyah101 (Procrastination is just a form of defiance)
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To: rktman

Tell me, which court to listen to? This panel of the 5th circuit is defying the supreme court.

You going to dutifully obey all the Obama judges telling you to commit moral atrocities and destroy the country?

You probably ought to acquaint yourself with history of all the insane, immoral, and outrageous decisions handed down by various courts over the years.

Democrats and commies ignore the law so they can tear down the country. Conservatives ignore commies the democrats appoint to the courts to save it.


7 posted on 03/20/2024 8:02:40 PM PDT by hopespringseternal
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