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9 Ways To Scare Off Californians Looking To Move Into Your Neighborhood
The Bee ^ | November 2, 2023 | Staff

Posted on 11/02/2023 7:07:03 PM PDT by Navy Patriot

Wait a minute, is that young couple looking for a home in your neighborhood from California? You better get them out of here pronto before they turn your beautiful state into a socialist cesspool! If you don't, you'll both have to look for a new state to move to in about ten years after they bring their California politics with them.

These are the absolute best ways to scare off a Californian:

3. Show off a cool gun you're packing: They will freak out even though this is only one of the guns you are packing. The others aren't as cool, sadly.

4. Ask them where they are going to church immediately after meeting them for the first time: It's normal to do that where you're from, but this question is basically kryptonite to a Californian.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Education; History; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; californians; californication; humor
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Helpful hints!
1 posted on 11/02/2023 7:07:03 PM PDT by Navy Patriot
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To: Navy Patriot
10. Take them for a ride in your scratched up 20-year-old 4X4.

11. Tell them your income (often lower than Californians'), but don't tell them how low the cost of living is in your area.

12. Tell them you love football, pause a few seconds, then follow it with how much you hate soccer.

13. Tell them how many kids you have.

2 posted on 11/02/2023 7:13:39 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Navy Patriot

I moved from California to Reno. Please don’t tell anyone else from California but Reno is really a nice place to live. I could do without all the homeless bums but it is far less than California where they are going to spend millions to build tiny homes to reward the bums.


3 posted on 11/02/2023 7:17:11 PM PDT by willk (Local news media. Just as big an enemy to this country as national media)
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To: Navy Patriot
I usually just ask them if i could show them my knife collection, but, they have to be careful handling them because i just finished my monthly sharpening of them.
4 posted on 11/02/2023 7:21:59 PM PDT by crazyhorse691 (Who knew that an elected official is a demi-god waiting to happen?)
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To: Navy Patriot

I find that most blue state escapees are leaving because liberal policies have made living there intolerable and want nothing to do with the state they left.


5 posted on 11/02/2023 7:22:40 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants ( "It is easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled."- Mark Twain)
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To: willk
Please don’t tell anyone else from California but Reno is really a nice place to live.

Californians, particularly those on state-funded pensions, have been bolting for Nevada in order to avoid California income taxes. I would assume Reno is on the radar for some of these state workers.

6 posted on 11/02/2023 7:32:27 PM PDT by CatOwner (Don't expect anyone, even conservatives, to have your back when the SHTF in 2021 and beyond.)
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To: Navy Patriot

I live in one of those big square states in the middle of the country. I see more CA plates than I do plates from adjacent states. This is odd as I expect the former would have to change plates within 30 days more often than the latter. Thanks be to God there is florida and Texas to sop up the bulk of the CA people fleeing.


7 posted on 11/02/2023 7:33:00 PM PDT by posterchild
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To: Navy Patriot

>7. Point out how many houses in town have American flags: Once they notice this little detail, they will react like vampires to the sun coming up at dawn.

I find when canvassing for political campaigns that a house flying an American flag is about a 95% certain indicator that the homeowner is a Republican.


8 posted on 11/02/2023 7:37:29 PM PDT by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: posterchild

San Jose, CA. I see more idaho plates from ada county(boise) then any other out of state plate.

Because the loons here move up to boise that is turning into a leftist shithole, and then their loonie family register vehicles up there. Not sure exactly sure how they dodge the smog in Boise(most of these vehicles are mid 2000’s so not smog exempt afaik, in boise) but the reg is 60-70% as much.


9 posted on 11/02/2023 7:38:58 PM PDT by SPDSHDW (FR is so far in the can that we make the DU idiots look civil sometimes. Hope you’re proud.)
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To: Blood of Tyrants
You have a valid observation, however, keep in mind, most Californians are "graduates" of California Public "Schools", Colleges, and Universities, and have the absolutely very best Marxist Indoctrination that can be bought with Taxpayer Money.

Unlearning that is nearly impossible.

10 posted on 11/02/2023 7:41:07 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: Navy Patriot

Most of the people leaving California for red states seem to be conservative. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said when California (a red or at least purple state back then) was invaded by Northeastern liberals in the ‘80s and ‘90s.


11 posted on 11/02/2023 7:43:52 PM PDT by AnotherUnixGeek
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To: Blood of Tyrants

Some do realize it’s the Liberal Policies, however far too many think it’s just bad luck and has nothing to do with their voting choices.


12 posted on 11/02/2023 7:48:25 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: Navy Patriot

Tell them that California IRS agents are paying their neighbors to verify whether they are actually residing out of CA.


13 posted on 11/02/2023 7:48:39 PM PDT by grumpygresh (Civil disobedience by non-compliance; jury and state nullification. )
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To: Navy Patriot

Remind them June 3 is the anniversary of Jefferson Davis’ birth.


14 posted on 11/02/2023 7:52:08 PM PDT by jeffersondem
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To: AnotherUnixGeek
Show off your Trump 2020 and 2024 bumper stickers: This is sure to send them back to California in absolute terror.

The true test. If they turn out to be Trump fans they might be the kind you want as neighbours.

15 posted on 11/02/2023 7:52:27 PM PDT by xp38
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To: Tell It Right

14. Show them the deer heads on your wall.

15. Say “Y’all” in every other sentence.

16. Serve grits with your meal.


16 posted on 11/02/2023 8:03:36 PM PDT by gitmo
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To: AnotherUnixGeek
Nancy Pelosi was sent to San Francisco to create Mafia Democrat control of California within the Democrat Party, by her Father, Mafia Democrat Mayor of Baltimore Maryland, in 1981.

The operation went perfectly.

17 posted on 11/02/2023 8:05:03 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: Navy Patriot

“What’s a “tesla charger?”


18 posted on 11/02/2023 8:23:16 PM PDT by Organic Panic (Democrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes)
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To: willk

I am a California to Las Vegas transplant myself. I could do without the bums either but I will not go back to California to live, no way, no how.


19 posted on 11/02/2023 8:54:32 PM PDT by DMD13
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To: crazyhorse691

Invite them for a home made dinner including raw liver from a freshly butchered goat.
Sit them on nice fur covered chairs...
Yes the patterns on the fur are almost identical...came from an occasional “spare goat” from the flock.


20 posted on 11/02/2023 10:19:40 PM PDT by SpokeshaveReturns (Proud Boys, Angry Dads and curmudgeons.)
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