Posted on 06/27/2023 12:36:57 PM PDT by george76
NEW YORK CITY, NY — In order to save the environment from the intoxicating smell of delicious New York pizza cooked in a woodfire oven, Mayor Eric Adams has announced that all pizza must now be cooked under the hand dryer of a public restroom.
"Our planet is dying, and will die sooner if we don't clean up our air immediately," said Adams to a crowd of outraged Italian immigrants. "My chain-smoking Grandma raised me down the street from a pizzeria, and now my second cousin has asthma. The pizza is to blame."
Sources say Adams was forced to retreat after getting pelted by overripe tomatoes.
Environmental activists who don't live in New York praised the move. "New York has the finest and most environmentally friendly bathroom hand dryers in the country," said Greenpeace President Binx Duggley from his private pizza kitchen in the east wing of his mansion. "Just think of the authentic New York flavor you'll get from all that subway fecal bacteria being warmly sprayed all over your cheese pizza! Yum! Tastes just like New York!"
The city also announced it will pull hundreds of NYPD cops from fighting crime and protecting subway riders to instead inspect restaurants for any sign of not properly cooking pizza under a New York hand dryer.
At publishing time, local mafia bosses had put out a contract to have Mayor Adams whacked.
I always wondered what you guys did with your overripe tomatoes.
I wouldn’t WASTE my hard-won tomatoes on the likes of him, LOL!
“Our planet is dying, and will die sooner if we don’t clean up our air immediately...”
Tell Canada! I live in the SW corner of Wisconsin and we have had ‘Haze For Days’ due to their negligent forest maintenance!
Great news...wish it was true..
And the Republicans what a waste too busy getting frothed to send more to Ukraine.
Don't worry about them. There are probably warehouses full of #10 cans of Pomodoro tomatoes from Italy on the Jersey side Which is where they have to go now to now get their "bougie" wood fired pizza!
“#10 cans.” LOL!
One of my BILs who is World-Famous for being CHEAP (no, not THRIFTY or PRUDENT or any other adjective) would have a #10 can of mixed vegetables - for his MEALS THAT WEEK!
I’m all about saving money, but he was beyond extreme.
I’ll bet if you threw tomatoes at him, THAT would be what he’d eat all week, LOL!
https://mutti-parma.com/en/recipes/
Check out their recipes for tomatoes! Some nice ones! At least 2 you can drink sitting on the front porch!
https://mutti-parma.com/en/recipes/mutti-bloody-mary/
https://mutti-parma.com/en/recipes/mutti-mary/
I’m down to my last few bottles of homemade Bloody Mary Mix (we drink it ‘virgin’ at breakfast) and Grape juice.
Tons of tomatoes on, as well as more grapes than ever - they’re liking this dry heat, but I have watered them twice so far this season.
Is this one of those crazy “conspiracy theory” pizza posts?
;-)
Ripe Tomatos today from Varity "42" and Sweet 100, and some Beit Alpha Gerkins from Cucumber Artist! Salad with olive oil and parmesean cheese! Summer is here!
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