Posted on 06/14/2023 1:08:34 PM PDT by dayglored
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of his administration's expanding efforts to celebrate Pride Month, President Joe Biden has announced the Iwo Jima memorial will be updated to feature the Pride flag.
"This flag is now the most revered symbol in our nation," Biden said during his announcement. "It's only right for the Iwo Jima memorial to be updated to represent the brave men and women and non-men and non-women and those other things who are fighting even more bravely than the soldiers of World War II. These fellas with breasts who were on my lawn — they're the true warriors. Chocolate chip braggleflurven!"
The Iwo Jima memorial, which since 1954 has commemorated all fallen United States Marines and is well-known for its iconic depiction of six Marines raising the American flag on Mount Suribachi, will also be renovated to show the six members of the disco group the Village People raising a rainbow flag atop a glittering, pink pedestal. "It's SUCH an upgrade!" said Katniss Sparkleshine, the artist commissioned by Biden to overhaul the statue. "Out with that old, ugly statue of white colonizers and in with an explosion of fabulous LGBTQ+ flair! Take that, conservatives! Why are you so obsessed with us, you Nazis?!"
Critics of the change being made to the statue immediately gathered in protest but were quickly subdued, arrested, and charged with hate crimes.
At publishing time, updates to the memorial had been scheduled to be completed before the end of the month, with recording artist Lizzo tapped to host the rededication ceremony.
Frankly, I almost didn't post this because it felt rather disrespectful, but I hope that FReepers' enjoyment of the Bee's satire would overcome feelings that this is somehow "over the line".
This part isn't satire. It's exactly what would happen.
I think my favorite part of this Bee writing is the name “Katniss Sparkleshine” LOL
Got me
Almost had me going.
Maybe this will help:
That’s awesome.
Almost makes me nostalgic for my old hippie days. Some of the names my groovier, astrology-leaning friends took were just that kooky.
I almost hurled......
Don’t give Joe any ideas!!!
Wow, that site (moothearth.com) is insane. I had to drag myself away bodily... :-)
Don’t give him any ideas. He has one Flag Day left, God willing.
Saw a couple of reviews trashing it.
OMG……I had to look to see if this was the B
The Gay Sex flag
The fact that I even thought this could be true is depressing enough in itself.
“Why are you so obsessed with us, you Nazis?!”
Because you never STFU, maybe? You’re like gnats buzzing around the heads of normal human beings.
Would not be surprised if these degenerates actually did this
Thank God this is the Bee (as I suspected). Otherwise I was gonna punch my IPad………
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