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Guy Getting Mugged In Manhattan Takes Solace In Fact Prosecutor Is Locking Up Trump
Babylon Bee ^ | April 5, 2023 | Staff

Posted on 04/06/2023 1:02:20 PM PDT by Twotone

NEW YORK, NY — A local man being robbed at gunpoint on the subway expressed relief that prosecutors are hard at work attempting to bring President Donald Trump to justice on charges of falsifying business records.

"It definitely gives me peace of mind to know that they're focusing on Trump," said Jim Hargrave after handing over his wallet, car keys, and watch to a masked mugger who pointed a gun in his face. "With them going so hard after Donald Trump on what seem to be really insignificant charges, it really keeps the citizens of this city safe. You know, from the threat of falsified business records."

Though it was difficult to hear Mr. Hargrave's comments over the sound of two other violent assaults happening on the same subway car, it was obvious that his life here in the city was being made much better by Manhattan D.A. Alvin Bragg's obsessive pursuit of Trump. "If people like President Trump are allowed to make incorrect entries in their business records, God knows what would become of this city," Hargrave said. "It would be total anarchy — violence in the streets, murders, rapes, beatings — which is the same as it is now, but, wow, it would be so much worse if Trump wasn't being held accountable!"

When reached for comment, D.A. Bragg defended his focus on Trump. "How am I supposed to go after killers and other violent criminals when business records aren't being kept accurately?" he asked. "We have to prioritize the really serious crimes first."

At publishing time, Mr. Hargrave was unavailable for further comment due to being chased home by a screaming man waving a samurai sword.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; humor; trump

1 posted on 04/06/2023 1:02:20 PM PDT by Twotone
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To: Twotone

Because, like all new earthquakes, it will be the Trump Fault.


2 posted on 04/06/2023 1:07:37 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: MtnClimber

well the administration did just came out with an inter agency report which concluded that Trump was at fault for the Afghanistan Withdraw and the Taliban too.


3 posted on 04/06/2023 1:21:26 PM PDT by algore
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To: Twotone

The Bee again gets too close to reality.


4 posted on 04/06/2023 1:22:12 PM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the peopIe to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: Twotone

The Bee’s sarcasm speaks truth! One satire article from the Bee is like the first 5 minutes of a Rush program: more educational than reading or watching the drive by media all day.


5 posted on 04/06/2023 1:22:49 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Twotone

LOL - almost got me again BB!!!

Bet this is real in some quarters.


6 posted on 04/06/2023 1:25:37 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Difference between a cow and the US Capitol 1/6 "riot:" you can only milk a cow 3 times a day)
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To: NorthMountain

Yes. Many leftists really would react this way if their own families were slaughtered. Priorities donchya know 🤬😖🤬


7 posted on 04/06/2023 1:58:30 PM PDT by Impala64ssa (If a liar's pants really did catch on fire AP, NPR, CBC, ABC, CNN, MSNBC would be more fun to watch)
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To: Twotone
Love the Bee.
8 posted on 04/06/2023 4:22:52 PM PDT by TBP (Decent people cannot fathom the amoral cruelty of the Biden regime.)
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