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7 Other Problematic Household Appliances That Should Be Banned
Babylon Bee ^ | January 12, 2023

Posted on 01/12/2023 5:24:33 PM PST by McGruff

We all know that gas stoves are murderous devils, but they aren't the only household appliances the government should ban for our own safety! Here are seven other appliances that are problematic:

Toasters: Their job is to turn something white into something brown, which is basically blackface for bread.

Furnaces: Uh oh, that's basically like a gas stove for your entire house.

Coffee Makers: Do you know how many third-world workers were exploited to bring you that bag of coffee beans? We don't know either, but it's probably a lot.

Blenders: These turn everything into one homogenous slurry instead of retaining the individual identity of each ingredient. It's like they don't care about diversity at all!

Washing Machines: Separate cycles for whites and colors? What year is it, 1619???

Waffle Irons: You know who else liked waffles? Hitler, that's who!

Air Fryers: These aren't problematic, but they take up a lot of counter space. Plus, they're a real pain to clean.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
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1 posted on 01/12/2023 5:24:33 PM PST by McGruff
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To: McGruff

Ha ha.


2 posted on 01/12/2023 5:25:18 PM PST by crusty old prospector
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To: McGruff

LOL!


3 posted on 01/12/2023 5:25:56 PM PST by Southside_Chicago_Republican (The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog. )
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To: McGruff

There’s a superb thread on Tweater with pics of Dems/libs cooking on gas stoves.

FLOTUS
AOC
Beta O’Dork
Gavin Newsom
Booty-Gig
Greta Thunberg
Fauxcahontas (hers says the methane is stolen from tribal lands)


4 posted on 01/12/2023 5:27:40 PM PST by nascarnation (Let's go Brandon!)
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To: McGruff

5 posted on 01/12/2023 5:30:33 PM PST by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire, or both.)
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To: McGruff
What about hair dryers? They fluff up hair and turn women into sex objects who end up on album covers. Hair dryers are a remnant of a patriarchal, sexist society.


6 posted on 01/12/2023 5:30:57 PM PST by SamAdams76 (4,777,271 | Truth Social | 87,821,414 | Twitter | Trump Followers)
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To: McGruff

How is a guy exploited that has access to all the coffee he could ever want to drink? That sounds more like paradise. And it is all because of us coffee drinkers!


7 posted on 01/12/2023 5:31:22 PM PST by Pilgrim's Progress (http://www.baptistbiblebelievers.com/BYTOPICS/tabid/335/Default.aspx D)
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To: McGruff

Bee always nails it!

(But I do agree with their stance on air fryers!)


8 posted on 01/12/2023 5:31:31 PM PST by lizma2
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To: McGruff

Crockpot: only problematic in states marijuana isn’t legalized.


9 posted on 01/12/2023 5:31:39 PM PST by ConservativeInPA (Stupidly is a moral problem, not an intellectual problem. )
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To: McGruff

Cheese graters


10 posted on 01/12/2023 5:32:29 PM PST by pnz1 ("These people have gone stone-cold crazy")
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To: McGruff
Refrigerators.

Thanks to those rectangular monoliths ice delivery guys people have been out of work and starving for over a century!

They can't hold out much longer.

11 posted on 01/12/2023 5:52:27 PM PST by TigersEye (The Democrat Party is criminal, unAmerican and illegitimate )
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To: McGruff

lol.....


12 posted on 01/12/2023 6:00:09 PM PST by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: pnz1

Cork Screws. Probably not all that dangerous, just really wacky looking.


13 posted on 01/12/2023 6:01:51 PM PST by John Milner (Marching for Peace is like breathing for food.)
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To: lizma2

I had to get a new microwave; it bakes, roasts, broils, AND airfrys, in addition to microwaving! It wasn’t expensive, either. Its interior is metal; how that works as a microwave, I have no idea, but it does.


14 posted on 01/12/2023 6:02:11 PM PST by Flaming Conservative ((Pray without ceasing))
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To: McGruff

Water heaters should be banned and replaced with electrically heated devices. Europe must ban “geysers” or gas fired water heaters found in about every European kitchen. Learn to take cold showers you spoiled Euroweenies.


15 posted on 01/12/2023 6:04:02 PM PST by 353FMG (Secretly practicing my Putin swagger..)
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To: pnz1

Cheese graters are eeeevilll; their goal in life is to maim knuckles and shave off fingernails, not to mention fingertips!


16 posted on 01/12/2023 6:07:37 PM PST by Flaming Conservative ((Pray without ceasing))
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To: Flaming Conservative

Salad shooters are assault kitchenware.


17 posted on 01/12/2023 6:13:55 PM PST by EQAndyBuzz (“Racist” is the new “Nazi”.)
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To: Pilgrim's Progress

I can’t even find my pants until I’ve had 2 cups of coffee. Good reason to keep the coffee pot.


18 posted on 01/12/2023 6:14:33 PM PST by oldasrocks
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To: EQAndyBuzz

It is not a true “smart” appliance unless it defends itself against those who want to ban it!


19 posted on 01/12/2023 6:16:00 PM PST by cgbg (Claiming that laws and regs that limit “hate speech” stop freedom of speech is “hate speech”.)
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To: McGruff

Of course stoves need to go because they give kids burns and burn down houses,


20 posted on 01/12/2023 6:16:30 PM PST by mountainlion (Live well those that did not make it back.)
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