Posted on 01/04/2023 9:56:49 AM PST by Lazamataz
Recently, I lost a friend of over 40 years. It was his choice to terminate our friendship.
We had known eachother since college. We reconnected on Facebook for many years, about 12, and rather suddenly tore into me for a variety of criticisms.
A little background on him: He recently lost his wife of 30+ years then promptly got covid. I offered my condolences and told him he could reach out for anything at all. Then, upon hearing nothing back, I left him be.
I noticed him corresponding more and more with a younger Facebook girl. No worries, not my business.
I wrote a simple little post about Jesus not returning anytime soon and this girl (I'll call her Amy) got into a big tirade with me and other people, expressing she hated religion, didn't believe in Christ, and called people who did a 'disease' and a 'pestilence'. I didn't much like that, unfriended her, and eventually blocked her. In the meantime, my old college friend expressed some of the same sentiments, even tually posting outright blasphemes. Told him I was none too fond of all that.
Well, he responds with all sorts of attacks.
I'm "too long-winded' and he never reads my political essays." Ok, fine.
I'm "occasionally funny but I try too hard." Actually, it's quite the opposite. I post what makes ME laugh. If you laugh, fine, if you don't, that wasn't my intent anyways.
I "think I'm so damned smart." I'm aware I'm slightly above average but there are plenty of people smarter than me.
I "slept with his college girlfriend Joyce." Um, no. Joyce was exceptionaly beautiful and I have always been average looking. Even if I had been inclined to try, she never would have even considered me.
All this was out of left field. No idea what provoked his attacks and his decision to terminate our friendship. I did find out that this Amy chick apparently was his go-to person in dealing with the grief of losing his wife. She apparently considers herself a Wiccan witch. Not healthy, but not my business.
So I am left with a friendship of over 40 years, destroyed. I have experienced some stages of grief over it. But I will (and I have to) accept it.
That is a sad and painful situation, condolences Laz. People change, and never underestimate the power of evil moving in when we become vulnerable, such as upon loss of a spouse. Your friend who lost a spouse needs a lot of prayers. I believe the best things to do are to pray, and to watch for the miracles.
Speak for yourself!
Honestly, when Laz brought up the anti-religion hatred, and then the Wiccan thing, it was pretty clear what was going on and the probable outcome. Look, I too dislike organized religion, but sadly there is an alarmingly growing number of people in this country who are submitting to being a tool of Satan. Sure, laugh at that, but there is no doubt in my mind that there is a serious darkness growing in this country.
Personally? I might feel a momentary loss, along with a brief sense of self-doubting confusion. But I would very quickly realize that there is likely nothing you can do and there is no need to anguish over it.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18
Of course, you'll have the good taste not to mention that I spoke to you.
Even though God Himself says He considers witchcraft an abomination.
Laz- it’s painful, especially when you can’t really point to anything you did that should provoke such a response. The Colonel’s Wife has a similar experience where the person said, “It’s just too much trouble too be your friend.” To one of the nicest, deepest, kindest people I’ve ever known. 🤷🏼♂️
I have no idea why you’d count the likes of me as a friend. But if you’d have me I’ll happily join the Lazamataz Circle of Weirdness.
L
Had a guy I knew in high school contact me and restart a friendship after 30 years. On Facebook, about 12 years ago.
He was raving about the evils of oil and wanted us all to go solar. I politely stated that solar has hope for the future but right now it is no efficient and too costly. Can’t fly a plane, for instance.
But I had hopes for the future when technology advanced.
He let into me with such hatred and spewed so much foul language that I immediately unfriended him. Have been off of Facebook for many years but have heard he is riddled with cancer and is not long for this earth. I won’t reach out to him.
Sometimes, when we reconnect, we remember why we dropped the friend in the first place.
Move on.
A friend will help you move.
You can have minor disagreements and things may get somewhat cold, but it eventually warms up.
A GOOD friend will help you move a body.
GOOD friends can agree to disagree but you're still friends.
And then there is a FRiend.
I consider you a FRiend.
I've come to accept it and realize I spent a fair amount of energy trying to help him see my perspective on life and too much energy biting my tongue.
I pray for him, but have found time better spent.
We love ya, Laz.
We have your back.
Satan.
Probably, just ego.
It somehow boosted his ego to "dump" on Lazamataz (besides earning him "Brownie Points" with the Wiccan).
I suspect that he also had a long-standing, but secret, grudge against Lazamataz due to his latent inferiority complex.
With such people, taking the high road just infuriates them more!
Regards,
If he reaches out I will be either unreceptive, or accept at arms length. I won’t reinvest into something that spectacularly failed. That’s the reason I very rarely give a woman a second chance, either.
Answer: Who are Amy and Joyce.
Question: Name two women who Laz would not hit.
Seriously, sorry to hear this, and I hope being able to vent a little here is helpful. Grief can engulf people, and it is possible that your friend has gotten a bit lost himself since losing his wife and also getting Covid.
His new girl apparently gives him something that he needs (or at least that he thinks he needs). If it has value to you to try to regain his friendship, just sit back and watch for a little while to see how this other relationship plays out. If it goes away, you could consider reaching out to him again without being judgmental.
In the meantime, you will always have Freeper friends! And I mean that as a promise, not a threat.
Yup. The other Abrahamic religion. She probably thinks they’re not as judgmental as Judeo-Christians.
Condolences. As others noted - you have friends here, or at least acquaintances that have good/warm feelings for you. Your good (and often self-deprecating) humor is appreciated.
[[All this was out of left field. No idea what provoked his attacks and his decision to terminate our friendship]]
probably because his girlfriend got so angry- he’s likely sticking up for her in hopes she will like him more would be my guess?- But his criticisms of you sound like they had been festering for awhile- Don’t take it personally though as people don’t like others who are smarter than them- and they lash out unreasonably with false accusations like ‘you think you’re better than us’ or whatever
We just lost friendship with a relative out of the blue who is likewise unreasonable- at first it bothered us, but we realized that they don’t have the light of Christ in their life, and are steeped in angry liberalism- so we just took that into account and brushed it off- Nothing we do will ever ‘make them’ like us- so there’s that- little did we realize that we were just tolerated by them “AS LONG AS” we obeyed their arbitrary rules (ie, they got to slam our politics and religion, and rant about conservatives, but responding to our relative was not allowed-) once we figured it out- it was too late- they severed their friendship with us because they didn’t like truth- Nothing we can do about that unless or until they see the light-
Right here, bro. And the little guy ain’t going anywhere either.
I’ll let you call me friend, just not from behind 😂
I’m glad you never messed with Joyce. It is weird that your former friend thought you did. I wonder why, but I guess it doesn’t matter.
Btw, it doesn’t sound like your friend married Joyce. If she was so great, why didn’t he stay with her? Or did she drop him?
You have FRiends here, so I hope some of us will help you get through this.
I’ve had to come to terms that some of my dearest, oldest friends are full on lefties. If we didn’t have our youth in common, I don’t think we’d be on speaking terms these days. Somehow we manage. I probably don’t speak up much, but I am certain that we have totally different views on the good, bad, and ugly.
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