Adopt a homeless pet who needs your love.
I might suggest a cat who is a bed hog, even if you do not think you are a cat person
I try not to imagine how I would deal with the loss of my wife.
Here’s what a neighbor has been participating in while dealing with the loss of their spouse: https://www.griefshare.org/
God bless you, FRiend!
I am so sorry for your deep loss. This is a difficult time of year to have just lost the love of your life (not that any time is good...)
Several of the men I worship with have recently lost their spouses (few months to couple years ago). They regularly share their pain and the challenges of coping with a hurt that may ease over time but will never fade completely.
If you do not already have a church home I urge you to connect with the Lord by assembling with your brothers and sisters in Christ. Jesus heals the brokenhearted!
My friends have also found comfort and a way forward in a grief counseling program the pastor instituted. I am sorry I do not know the name of it, but I am sure you can find something similar if you look for it. The exact program isn’t important — sharing with others with similar needs is where the benefit lies, I think.
May GOD bless you with His peace that passes all understanding, FRiend.
First of all, my condolences to you. I cannot imagine your pain.
The thought that came to mind upon reading your post is that 2 months is really not a very long time. Is it possible that you are expecting too much of yourself? I think you have very good reasons to not feel yet like going out into society right now.
My advice is that you go a little easier on yourself and take time to mourn.
Putting you on my daily prayer list.
May our blessed Lord comfort you.
I have not lost a spouse. I have lost some people whom I loved dearly and will always love: parents, friends, my first serious girlfriend. Two months isn’t a long time. It takes time to work through the grief. I didn’t say get over it. I never have entirely. But the pain gradually eases to something manageable, and we find ways to get moving again with our lives, with blessed and happy memories, even a sense of the presence, of the ones whom we have loved and lost.
So sorry for your loss, but happy for the 38 years you had together...
From your loving description, she was an exceptional woman...
My wife, now 83, and I, now 89, were married in 1960, and I am not sure how I would handle losing my best friend and bass-fishing buddy...
Although, for the past decade, bad knees keep her out of the boat, and, instead, she camps out almost every Tuesday in front of slot machines at the MGM National Harbor...
I lost my wife of 38 years two years ago. My kids saved me. I think you’re on the right path.
Respect her memory and spend as much time with your kids and grandkids as you can. Let them be your light.
Go on trips with your grandkids. Pay for a family cruise for everyone if you can afford it. Have something to look forward to when the lights are out.
I can’t speak to your loss, other than to feel absolute compassion.
But, I know what it is like being a 43 year old who lost his Mom. We just want you to be ok.
Have you considered adopting a dog? Get a big one. Golden Retrievers are great!
Go to youtube.com, and search “ Life After Death “. Multiple videos, and testimonies, from those who witnessed the afterlife.
You’ll be comforted in knowing that your wife is very happy now, and you’ll be joining her in this happiness eventually.
I am so sorry, Vigilanteman.
You have a solid support in place from your daughters, and two months is really not all that long (though not from where you’re at, I realize).
Grief needs time to grieve. Your beloved wife lives on in your beautiful daughters who are there for you. Prayers for your comfort and peace.
You need something to love and something to do. Sometimes they can be the same thing. But you can only discover what will give you new purpose and direction by looking within yourself.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your pain & loneliness are very evident in your post. I am so glad you have caring & loving children who love you very much.
Algore is so on the money. If you have an animal shelter where you live, go there. The staff are usually well versed in the different aspects of the animals there. Tell them you are looking for a cuddle bug who loves to snuggle. Try and get a female. They tend to be less aggressive. Sending many hugs your way Friend.
Your reaction is completely normal. It’s only been two months. Take time to remember all the wonderful years you had together. Go ahead and cry yourself to sleep. Everyone who has experienced a loss like yours has done the same.
There are many churches that have grief recovery classes. You should check them out.
Do you attend a church? Attending services or bible study could get you in the room with other people, with something to focus on.
I’m so sorry for your loss! Some churches have a program called “Grief Share” or something similar, where you can attend a group, you don’t have to talk, but many find it helps to just ‘SAY IT’ now and then - whatever the current challenges are that are on your mind.
Despite how far you’ve come, to accepting God’s purpose for your continued service here, you still have more healing to do, it won’t always feel like this. That’s why I think it would be good to see if you can find grief share type groups because they also let you talk about the good things, too. Any group setting, preferably where you don’t have to talk if you don’t feel like it, where others describe their days and what’s on their mind could help.
Prayers up, my FRen, for your healing and the Hope that is within you.
It has been 10 years for me. I bought a cheap camp, and spent a lot of time figuring out how to improve it, and decorate it. You need something else to think about. (And you are more emotionally fragile,;than you think”.
May God bless you, Vigilanteman, and help you to endure life without your beloved wife.
I have no advice but I will send continued prayers for your consolation and strength to endure.
As far as getting a dog or cat, remember two things that recommend a dog. 1. Dogs love to go for walks. That can get you out of the house getting some exercise, and you can soon find the routes that allow you to meet other people doing the same thing. Meeting another dog-walker gives you a conversation starter. Just the thing for somebody who describes himself as shy.
2. Most dogs will eat most leftovers, which means you can get rid of the leftovers. Of course, you don't want to overfeed the dog, but moderation in moderation works well.
When you go to a shelter to select an animal, you might find a color coding on the cage or run. My local shelter uses Pink to describe the easy to take home animals, Yellow is a Pink dog that is more shy and needs some time to come out of a shell. (Sound familiar??) Blue is a "behavior issue", so expect some behavior issues now and then. I would expect some uniformity in the color coding, if your local shelter uses one. You can always ask.
And remember that once you get a dog used to a routine that involves walks, the dog will expect to go for a walk at certain times of the day, regardless of the weather. That can be a challenge if you live in an area with snow or high winds.
And right now tell yourself that the first two months are the hardest, and things will start to get better. A month from now, tell yourself that the first three months are the hardest, and things will start to get better. When you forget to tell yourself that "the first X months are the hardest", let us know how it turned out.
🛐🙏✝️