That sure ain't Magnus!
Posted on 09/20/2022 8:32:55 PM PDT by libh8er
For all of the scandals that have rocked the world of elite chess in recent years, rumors that a 19-year-old grandmaster used anal beads and artificial intelligence to beat the world's top player might be the most bizarre.
Speculation has grown online that San Francisco-born Hans Niemann, a relative newcomer to the sport, inserted wireless vibrating anal beads into his body before his victorious match against World No. 1 grandmaster Magnus Carlsen, 31, last week.
Chess fans have speculated that an accomplice watching the match at the Sinquefield Cup in St. Louis used a chess program to determine the perfect move, and then sent encoded instructions via the vibrating sex toy.
Niemann has vehemently denied cheating on this occasion, but critics note that his Elo rating, which gauges the strength of chess players, shot to 2701 after his victory over Carlsen, up from just 2484 in January 2021.
And he's faced further speculation after he previously admitted cheating during an online game aged 12. That saw one of his friends bring over an iPad loaded with a 'chess engine' program that offered the most likely route to a win. The person Niemann was playing couldn't see him, and so was unaware of what was unfolding.
His latest increase is so staggering that many in the sport don’t believe it is possible - and their suspicions are bolstered by Niemann's own admission that he has previously used chess programs to cheat in online tournaments.
One fan tweeted: 'Currently obsessed with the notion that Hans Niemann has been cheating at the Sinquefield Cup chess tournament using wireless anal beads that vibrate him the correct moves.'
Even Tesla CEO ElonMusk chipped in and shared a video on Twitter of an influencer discussing the rumor that Niemann used anal beads during the chess competition.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Sounds cheeky to me. Beading a grandmaster is no small colon but it does take some intestinal fortitude...
Ah, well, that settles that!
So, how do the anal beads help his chess game?
I love chess, but most of the grand masters are autistic sociopaths and narcissistic weirdos. People like that are too fragile to endure loss and adversity.
“Salute the Marines.”
A new career possibility for Richard Gere perhaps.
What what?
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A vibrating buttplug would be too dangerous to use with Biden. Something could easily go very, very wrong right in front of the cameras.
He’s from San Fran. Anything is possible.
Did he orgasm on checkmate? LOL
What results do you suppose you would get if you googled "hidden computer cheat chess?"
Regards,
The anal bead guy (which I’m sure he loves as a reputation) isn’t just some schlub who walked in off the streets. He is a legitimate competitor in these big tournaments and didn’t cheat his way to sit on the other side of the chess board from Magnus. The game moves are recorded and folks can study tendencies and trends to work on strategies for specific players. One would assume that Carlsen is probably the most studied potential opponent in the world. Anal bead guy’s games at competitions are also recorded, and a statistical analysis of moves would present some good evidence, though not conclusive, of his playing style. All in all, it’s probably the most mainstream press that chess has gotten in years, and it’s all because of an imaginary sex toy.
I wasn’t thinking of hidden ear pieces or any other device that might aid somebody to win.
I think. Lol. I had a good belly laugh over that.
CM BD Is?
“I get my kicks ABOVE the waistline, Sunshine.”
Oh. Wait...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgc_LRjlbTU
I guess we are gonna have to resort to body cavity searches before every chess match.
It might liquify what’s left of his marbles.
I guess I’ll say it before someone else does; it looks like he pulled that one out of his ass…
To be used against me someday, I'm sure.
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