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AOC Says She Got Killed From Elon Buying Twitter And Is Now Dead (satire alert)
The Babylon Bee ^
| April 30th, 202
| BabylonBee.com
Posted on 04/30/2022 7:17:32 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was brutally murdered this week as a result of Elon Musk buying Twitter, says AOC. Twitter accepted Musk's offer to buy Twitter on April 25th, which AOC says makes them an accessory to her murder.
"I have never been more dead than I am right now," said AOC while attending a disinformation fundraiser. "A privileged white man violently assaulted me by legally buying Twitter and defending free speech! He literally cut off my head and now I am dead!"
An official complaint was filed with the U.S. Secret Service which subsequently reached out to Elon Musk for questioning. Musk has reportedly denied any involvement in AOC's death and claims the congresswoman is not dead at all.
"She's right over there," Musk allegedly told authorities. "Just turn your head."
AOC has claimed Musk's words are disinformation of the worst sort and have caused her to experience a second death.
"That makes him double guilty!" she wept.
According to sources, Elon Musk was taken to Guantanamo Bay for further questioning "off the books" but then he bought the facility and had himself released.
TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS: aoc; babylonbee; elonmusk; musk; truthsocial; twitter
To: E. Pluribus Unum
“Literally dead”, Sandy cried.
2
posted on
04/30/2022 7:22:59 PM PDT
by
ifinnegan
(Democrats kill babies and harvest their organs to sell)
It’s funny because it’s true
3
posted on
04/30/2022 7:23:22 PM PDT
by
dsrtsage
( Complexity is just simple lacking imagination)
To: E. Pluribus Unum
4
posted on
04/30/2022 7:23:54 PM PDT
by
FreedomPoster
(Islam delenda est)
To: E. Pluribus Unum
The Bee is getting a hard edge to it. I like it!
5
posted on
04/30/2022 7:28:52 PM PDT
by
rockrr
( Everything is different now...)
To: E. Pluribus Unum
Dead! And she wanted to date Elon so bad. Now she’ll never get to. So sad.
6
posted on
04/30/2022 7:54:36 PM PDT
by
seowulf
(Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos...Will Durant)
To: E. Pluribus Unum
7
posted on
04/30/2022 7:59:04 PM PDT
by
Nateman
(Xi Jinping is the most diabolical enemy Americans has ever had. 🍊)
To: FreedomPoster
8
posted on
04/30/2022 8:16:21 PM PDT
by
simpson96
To: E. Pluribus Unum
Hey Sandy, Mr. Ed called, he wants his teeth back.
9
posted on
04/30/2022 8:19:21 PM PDT
by
Fai Mao
(I think we need more telephone poles!)
To: E. Pluribus Unum
America should be so lucky.
10
posted on
04/30/2022 8:20:32 PM PDT
by
GaryCrow
To: Fai Mao
Did you say “Hey Sandy” in Mr. Ed’s voice?
11
posted on
04/30/2022 11:13:12 PM PDT
by
higgmeister
( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken)
To: seowulf
Dead! And she wanted to date Elon so bad. Now she’ll never get to. So sad.So, she really DID stop hitting on him? 😀😊😂😃😆
12
posted on
05/01/2022 4:27:31 AM PDT
by
Mark17
(Retired USAF air traffic controller. Father of USAF pilot. USAF aviation runs in the family )
To: higgmeister
Did you say “Hey Sandy” in Mr. Ed’s voice?Of course, of course. 😀
13
posted on
05/01/2022 4:29:13 AM PDT
by
Mark17
(Retired USAF air traffic controller. Father of USAF pilot. USAF aviation runs in the family )
To: E. Pluribus Unum
14
posted on
05/01/2022 4:37:12 AM PDT
by
Apparatchik
(If you find yourself in a confusing situation, simply laugh knowingly and walk away - Jim Ignatowsk)
To: E. Pluribus Unum
According to sources, Elon Musk was taken to Guantanamo Bay for further questioning "off the books" but then he bought the facility and had himself released.When you're so good that the last sentence makes you laugh as much as the first. That's the Babylon Bee.
15
posted on
05/01/2022 4:45:11 AM PDT
by
Dahoser
(I finally figured out what to call him: Fakephonyfraudident Biden.)
To: E. Pluribus Unum
AOC has claimed Musk's words are disinformation of the worst sort and have caused her to experience a second death. I literally choked on hot coffee and almost died when I read that :)
Oh, AOC. You are indeed going to experience a "second death" if you don't turn from your wicked ways. And you can still think of yourself as hot down there...
16
posted on
05/01/2022 4:49:23 AM PDT
by
FalloutShelterGirl
(Cool! I found my original screen name!)
To: rockrr
“The Bee is getting a hard edge to it.”
I think there are several FReepers who would be excellent freelance contributors to The BB.
17
posted on
05/01/2022 4:59:06 AM PDT
by
MayflowerMadam
(When government fears the people, there is liberty. Excellent. )
To: ifinnegan
I own a backhoe. Need a hole dug DEEP?
To: E. Pluribus Unum
but then he bought the facility and had himself released.LOL!
19
posted on
05/01/2022 9:19:51 AM PDT
by
Hot Tabasco
(I'm Jimmy Crack Corn and I don't care)
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