Posted on 04/14/2022 8:30:51 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
BET SHEMESH, ISRAEL—Investigators working with the Israel Antiquities Authority have claimed David used an illegal "ghost" sling in his famous battle with Goliath. Experts allege the ghost sling would have been untraceable, which would account for why Goliath was caught off guard so easily.
"Goliath, a man who stood about 7'10" by modern reckoning, would not have been defeated so easily if David had a legal sling registered with the proper authorities," said Dr. Phil Gath, a professor at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. "David probably used a 3D printer or something, maybe he just stole some leather and grabbed some stones to put something together himself. We're not sure where the sling came from."
"But we are certain it did not have an authenticated serial number registered with a government database," he added.
Scholars have suggested that Goliath's defeat by David was a turning point for Philistia.
"If Goliath beat David to claim Israel then the Philistines would have become a mighty power. They would have been in a better position to fend off King Nebuchadnezzar II of Babylon, who basically turned their land into a giant parking lot," said Dr. Gath.
"Illegal ghost slings are directly responsible for the fall of Philistia."
Investigators have submitted their findings to an academic research paper where it will later be used by politicians for personal agendas outside of its historical context.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Best laugh today.
.
Now that, is funny.
Love it!
I will be sharing this through Easter. Classic!
Pingaling!
Or Phil E. Stein.
Those guys at the Bee are totally insane and I love it! ;-)
LOL- King Saul ordered his men to follow David and keep an eye on him, and make sure he never sets foot inside the capitol building-
Didn’t they GIVE him the capital, as a settlement, for offing Goliath? 😊
lol eventually-
We know he was also underage, but the burning question is whether he crossed state lines with the device?
Most likely David did not cross state lines, as both Bethlehem and the valley of Elah are in Judah. But the actual ownership of the land was in dispute, as the Jews ownership rests completely of the claim that the land was given to their forefather Jacob by Issac by Abraham by God, and was therefore solely thiers through inheritance. Other children of Abraham and Issac have picked up the name and the cause of the displaced Philistines, and are currently disputing that claim in the United Nations.
A staff or pole sling was probably used. No dramatic hollywood windup, just like a lacrosse pass... WAP!
Ping
David and Goliath were cousins by marriage.
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