Posted on 08/15/2021 5:26:23 PM PDT by george76
I wouldn’t know. The only hate expressed has been from you.
I don’t just “blame” the mother.
The adoptive son is much more culpable, as he is betraying his real parents who raised him.
His “real parents”(the adopters) are betrayed only if they find themselves betrayed by their adopted son. If they are not betrayed and he continues to uphold them with honor and respect, seeing to their needs and putting them first then what is that to you? Let the Lord most High judge the situation and let it go.
I generally respect your clear eyed down the middle no holds barred views but you are showing an sharp unreasoning edge with this subject. Can’t help to think that this subject strikes to your quick very deeply.
I think your story is true of most adoptions, i. e., the child is given up to have a better life, not because he is unwanted or unloved. Usually by a young girl with little or no support system.
Often these connections are made primarily for medical history reasons, too.
“The only hate expressed has been from you.”
Go back and re-read your vile, out-of-control posts. There’s obviously something personal and deeper going on behind the scene. The subject isn’t one-size-fits-all, although your opinion is appropriate for you in your situation.
Hard truths are hard to hear.
The adoptive boy betrayed his parents.
The birth mother used the adoptive parents to raise her kids, and now swoops in.
The adoptive parents will be gratuitous and lovely, but are undoubtedly deeply hurt by the betrayal from one they loved.
And no, I have no direct experience with adoption. I am a father of 8 to my one wife. All successful young ladies, doctors and engineers and soldiers and mothers. Perhaps that it is. I know the sacrifices and love I gave (and give) to my children.
As such, I am (apparently) the one of the few here capable of empathy towards the parents, such that I can put aside the pablum put out by the MSM that is designed to destroy the real family.
On the one hand you want women to not have abortions, and on the other you want call women who don’t have abortions whores with something running down their legs because they don’t conform to your expectations.
Quite the cognitive dissonance you have going on there.
And your use of the word “gregarious” in your sentence is completely incomprehensible.
If the son was looking, then fine. But WHAT is the point of taking in a baby, when records are supposed to be SEALED and the baby is given his own life with loving parents? How would you feel if you raised a son, who now is an adult with his own family and kids, and you FINALLY had those Grandbabies you waited and longed for - and now some stranger shows up and gets to play ‘Grandma Bountiful’ when YOU were the parents that put in the WORK?
My main objection is disregard for the LAW, and I hate, hate, HATE all this prying DNA testing cr@p. I know of someone that ‘dabbles’ in this Me-23 cr@p and she seems to get great pleasure from blowing families up when secrets are revealed. ‘He’s NOT your Uncle, he’s your Daddy! Surprise! Happy Birthday!’ It’s sick.
Some of us don’t like to see others forcing the rest of us to lose our privacy. And I have two parents, I was not adopted and I never put a child up for adoption. I raised a step-son and two nephews to adulthood. I was every bit their ‘mom’ as the loser, unstable, drug-addled flesh & blood ‘mothers’ they were unfortunate enough to be born to.
I had the same argument for smoker’s rights, and look where we are today on that issue. And I never have smoked. Look at today’s smearing of those that don’t feel they want or need a Covid shot! And the Socialists are JUST getting started using Covid to restrict travel, make us get shots, have passports for just being outside of our homes! WHERE does it end? It doesn’t. Same for abortion and 60 million plus dead babies (a lot of whom COULD have been adopted) being foisted on us like it’s as simple as blowing your nose. And the arrogance of some of these ‘women’ FLAUNTING their multiple abortions! Ghouls!
All of this stuff leads us down the same slippery slope.
And that’s my reasoning and life experience behind my initial statement. Take it or leave it. :)
I don’t know how I would feel. I do think my feelings might be different if my kid was 17 vs if my kid was 33(!!) years old, well established, and in a good relationship with me while he reached out to his bio-mom. The fact both were looking at about the approximate same time suggests the intervention of a higher order so one might keep that perspective. Scripture offers no firm ground on a subject that otherwise says “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother that thine days shall be long upon the Earth!” Thus sentiment often rushes into supply guidance around scripture’s lack of clarity on adoptions and and how to handle them as sentiment is certainly so doing on this thread.
One can find some guidance by how gentiles are accepted into the the lineage of Abraham by the Spirit of adoption, that is if one believes as a Christian. I suppose one can find guidance in that various olive branches that were once severed from the main vine could, by that same Spirit that governs all charity, be re-ingrafted again. The Bible says that kids leave their parents and marry and are one flesh with that person that they married and so become separated from their parents in terms of the severing of direct responsibilities over their now adult children. That would also go for adopter parents and their adoptee children as well.
So parents do feel loss when their children grow up and go away but such children will develop other friendships and supports that they will need that their parents, adopter or biological cannot supply for them. I think it wise for adopter parents, just like biological parents have to do, is to accept that parent child relationships will change but not to feel threatened personally by these changes even if their adoptee seeks out their natural parent. It would be abnormal not for such children to be curious and certainly a family medical history would be useful to know.
Now should such an adoptee spurn and reject his adopter parents and come to hold them in absolute disgust in favor of a biological parent, then that does say something about the character of the adoptee and that would be a bitter pill for his adoptive parents to swallow. Shame on him!
If an adoptee gets to know his biological parent/s and develops a workable and friendly /loving relationship with them but treats his adoptive parents first and foremost as his true own, then such a person has truly become a full human being,(much to the credit of his adopter parents, the way) by being able to expand his heart to ingraft the severed olive branches back into his own heart while keeping what he already has even closer!
I do note the slippery slopes you mention and agree on the dangers. Yet this notion of finding one’s true parents and vice versa the bio parents for their kids is not a new phenomena fostered by the socialists. There are stories good and bad that go back as far as the founding of the nation. Technology and the rapid cross-indexed nature of communications nowadays has made such searches easier for good or ill. I do caution about criticizing a situation where both people involved were on the same path to finding each other at the same time. A higher agency than you and I might be involved in this “bringing together”.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.