Posted on 04/04/2021 3:29:17 PM PDT by TBP
JERUSALEM—The risen Jesus is being roundly criticized in the media after it was discovered he left the tomb without his face covering.
"Yeah we know he's immune to death and all that, but he could at least set an example by responsibly wearing his protective face covering," said King Herod in an op-ed published in the Jerusalem Gazette. "Jesus claims to be pro-life, but his actions would suggest otherwise."
According to Roman authorities, Jesus's face covering and burial linens were found neatly folded in an empty tomb three days after his crucifixion. Pontius Pilate has sent platoons of soldiers to scour the countryside for the unmasked risen Savior.
"We're just looking out for everyone's safety," said Pilate. "Tombs are usually full of diseases and we can't risk having any of that dangerous stuff like leprosy or salvation spread throughout the populace."
King Herod has asked for anyone with information on the whereabouts of Jesus to turn him in so that he may bring him before the local Health & Safety Commission.
I’m sure the Lord is honestly smiling at the BEE and does not find this offensive one little bit.
That’s our risen Savior for ya!
DANG!
It's well established that God has a sense of humor; look at the platypus.
The Bee is not mocking God, they're mocking silly humans. And Lord knows, there is plenty to mock about silly humans.
Happy Easter!
Probably not, but isn’t that exactly how the rats 🐀 would react? In order for something to be funny, there has to be an element of truth to it. The rats 🐀 are evil, and that’s the truth. 😂
We can count on the Bee to spread the word!
"Social distancing required when using staircase. One individual or group at a time please. Thank You."
Deliciously sick satire.
I LOVE THESE PEOPLE!!!
So one day I jumped the rail, knelt in honest love of God and rang those bells.
Jumped back over the rail, genuflected and left the church with a sense of "did it".
I'm sure God laughed that day.
I bet our Lord had a great sense of humor.
He would appreciate God’s handiwork in giving humanity the intelligence to be able to make others laugh.
God must have a sense of humor, He created man didn’t He?
I 100% agree.
From the Bee last year:
https://babylonbee.com/news/roman-authorities-investigating-jesus-for-violating-stay-in-tomb-order
JERUSALEM—Roman authorities are investigating controversial religious leader Jesus of Nazareth for violating the Empire’s clear “stay in tomb” order. After crucifying him and laying him in the tomb, Roman guards put Him under strict orders to stay there and not come back, rising victorious over sin and death.
But Jesus, answering to a higher authority, refused to stay dead and busted out of the tomb, establishing a kingdom that would never end — again, in clear violation of the government’s orders.
“Jesus is a dangerous rebel, refusing to bend the knee to Caesar and not abiding by the law of sin and death,” said one Roman official. “He clearly broke the law by leaving the tomb, and we’re going to be issuing a citation and placing him under mandatory quarantine for these crimes.”
After coming into contact with many large groups over the course of approximately 40 days, Jesus ascended into heaven and is currently thought to be reigning on high.
Authorities are also investigating Him for planning to gather with a large multitude of every tribe, tongue, and nation. He says he currently has no plans to obey any earthly king on the matter, pressing ahead with the gathering of those who believe He died and rose again and trust Him alone for their salvation.
Love the Babylon Bee... That is funny...
Some of my English comp papers would fit well in the Bee. Not all of my teachers would have agreed however...
Bkmk
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