SATIRE Majority Of Americans Would Rather Risk COVID Death Than Endure Any More Skype Lectures From Celebrities

Babylon Bee ^ | April 24, 2020 | Babylon Bee

[gattaca]

U.S.—A recent survey revealed that a majority of Americans are ready to get back to work. Even when asked if they realize that getting everybody back to work right now could increase deaths from COVID-19, most responded that they were willing to die if that's what it took to end the nightly parade of self-important late show hosts scolding them all for needing money from the comfort of their fancy homes getting paid millions to shame-Skype America.

"It's like when you accidentally FaceTime someone you really did not want to talk to. That's what TV is like now," said one participant in the survey who then begged for the COVID-19 virus to release him from another webcam Trevor Noah monologue.

Late show hosts are pushing for a longer quarantine period citing their preference to talk down to America on a laptop camera while wearing pajamas, not having to be around all the gross people who show up in live audiences and receiving the same sweet paycheck every week.

[BradyLS]

I know it’s satire, but, damn right!

[Pox]

So happy I dumped TV a few years back. Bought several complete series sitcoms on DVD and just mainly play them for background noise as I enjoy my commercial-free/”annoying-entertainer-lecture-free” lifestyle.

[SunkenCiv]

LOL

[liberalh8ter]

Many a truth is said in jest!

[gov_bean_ counter]

As the delta between satire and reality continues to shrink...

[wastoute]

When Babylon Bee is the most reliable source of info in the country you know you have a problem.

[Deplorable American1776]

Babylon Bee is more truth than satire nowadays!!

[Bobalu]

[metmom]

BB - closer to the truth than the MSM.

[metmom]

Why on earth is anyone supporting these celebrities any more anyways?

[Phillyred]

Just remind me, are we.... all in this together???

[pnz1]

So that’s the guy with his annoying commercials that keeps interrupting Everybody Loves Raymond .

[SaxxonWoods]

I’ve never seen one of these celebrity thingies, so I must be living right.

[Nifster]

How I love the Bee

[Demiurge2]

The lectures are bad, but TV advertising with solemn piano music that all being “In these difficult times...” and end with “... we’re all in this together” are far worse.

[oldvirginian]

“The lectures are bad, but TV advertising with solemn piano music that all being “In these difficult times...” and end with “... we’re all in this together” are far worse.”

Yep. So bad I’ve had to move the bang sticks to another room to keep from destroying the tv.
If it keeps up much longer I’ll have to disassemble the buggers and keep the parts in separate rooms.

[pcottraux]

Satire....but true.

[FormerFRLurker]

Ellen Degenerate said sheltering in her LA mansion was like “living in jail”. I’d still be willing to trade homes with her.

[Deplorable American1776]

How does Ellen DeGenerate know about how jail is? Didn't know her LA mansion was a 10 by 10 room. Never saw a nail with a swimming pool, library or a Butler quarters. Must be a new jail California built to pamper their criminals. I mean, you don't want them to be mad at their victims... 😋