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COVID 19 JOKES
The source is US
| 3/30/2020
| By Laz A. Mataz
Posted on 03/30/2020 4:00:09 PM PDT by Lazamataz
Ever one to see the humor in even the worst circumstances, I set out to try to lighten hearts with a little COVID-19 humor.
I authored these:
China got this virus right off the bat.
I now wash my hands, shower daily, and keep my house disinfected. All it took was the end of the world to become a human being.
With all the airports shut down or travel-restricted, CNN's viewership is now nearly 5 people.
TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: humor; jokes; laugh
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To: CodeToad
101
posted on
03/30/2020 5:31:02 PM PDT
by
real saxophonist
(If you don't have a gun, sell some toilet paper, and go buy a gun. - Colion Noir)
To: real saxophonist
102
posted on
03/30/2020 5:31:31 PM PDT
by
miserare
( Respect for life--life of all kinds-- is the first principle of civilization.~~A. Schweitzer.)
To: proud2beconservativeinNJ
Thank YOU!!
I keep all HC workers in my daily prayers.
Are things as crazy as what we’re hearing and seeing in reports?
Again...thanks for being on the front lines.
103
posted on
03/30/2020 5:31:49 PM PDT
by
Jane Long
(Praise God, from whom ALL blessings flow.)
To: Lazamataz
Knock knock
Who’s there?
No, this is the FDA
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH
104
posted on
03/30/2020 5:32:16 PM PDT
by
eartick
(Stupidity is expecting the government that broke itself to go out and fix itself. Texan for TEXIT!)
To: Lazamataz
105
posted on
03/30/2020 5:32:37 PM PDT
by
Jane Long
(Praise God, from whom ALL blessings flow.)
To: wastoute
Never thought of that.
How will they produce Dancing With the Stars this season?
106
posted on
03/30/2020 5:33:23 PM PDT
by
miserare
( Respect for life--life of all kinds-- is the first principle of civilization.~~A. Schweitzer.)
To: real saxophonist
Oh, good lord!
This wins the thread!
107
posted on
03/30/2020 5:35:33 PM PDT
by
miserare
( Respect for life--life of all kinds-- is the first principle of civilization.~~A. Schweitzer.)
To: tinyowl
LOL, and you owe me the proverbial keyboard.
To: Lazamataz
109
posted on
03/30/2020 5:38:47 PM PDT
by
Spruce
To: Lazamataz
We hired a neighborhood kid to clean up the dog poop in the yard each week. When this is all over, we may actually get a dog.
110
posted on
03/30/2020 5:39:04 PM PDT
by
IllumiNaughtyByNature
(Polls are no longer designed to measure public sentiment but to influence it.)
To: Lazamataz
don’t worry this chinese virus won’t last long, remember its
“made in China”...bada boom
To: rolling_stone
112
posted on
03/30/2020 5:43:54 PM PDT
by
real saxophonist
(If you don't have a gun, sell some toilet paper, and go buy a gun. - Colion Noir)
To: Okeydoker
113
posted on
03/30/2020 5:45:33 PM PDT
by
real saxophonist
(If you don't have a gun, sell some toilet paper, and go buy a gun. - Colion Noir)
To: Lazamataz; All
Dave Chappell: “ I used to cough to cover up a fart. Now, I fart to cover up a cough!”
To: real saxophonist
115
posted on
03/30/2020 5:56:33 PM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire. Or both.)
To: Lazamataz
OK. at first I thought, this is in bad taste.
The virus is not funny.
But some of these quips are really hilarious.
116
posted on
03/30/2020 5:57:22 PM PDT
by
metmom
(...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
To: Lazamataz
117
posted on
03/30/2020 5:59:55 PM PDT
by
pax_et_bonum
(God is good, He loves us, and He is always with us.)
To: real saxophonist; Army Air Corps; Lazamataz
The TP isn't two-ply, the Hand Sanitize isn't Purell and who drinks
Arrowhead brand anyway?
Best Rick could do is a $1.05
118
posted on
03/30/2020 6:02:53 PM PDT
by
KC_Lion
(Me and my homies woulda been stackin' bodies by now- G. Washington.)
To: real saxophonist
119
posted on
03/30/2020 6:17:56 PM PDT
by
Vendome
(I've Gotta Be Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB0ndRzaz2o)
To: miserare
Nobody has contemplated nearly half the ways the world has changed.
120
posted on
03/30/2020 6:22:28 PM PDT
by
wastoute
(Government cannot redistribute wealth. Government can only redistribute poverty.)
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