Posted on 03/13/2020 9:59:19 AM PDT by bitt
The nation's nerds woke up in a utopia this morning, one where everyone stays inside, sporting events are being canceled, and all social interaction is forbidden.
All types of nerds, from social introverts to hardcore PC gamers, welcomed the dawn of this new era, privately from their own homes.
"I have been waiting my whole life for this moment," said Ned Pendleton, 32 -- via text message, of course -- as he fired up League of Legends on his beefy gaming PC. "They told me to take up a sport and that the kids playing basketball and stuff were gonna be way more successful than us nerds who played Counter-Strike at LAN parties every weekend."
"They all laughed at me. Well, who's laughing now?"
To prepare for the onslaught of the deadly disease, nerds are changing absolutely nothing and are expected to rise up to rule the post-Coronavirus society, as they are the ones best adjusted to being sheltered in a basement, garage, or room for many days at a time marathoning Halo, Half-Life, The Legend of Zelda, Red Dead Redemption, or Horizon Zero Dawn. They're also ready for any post-apocalyptic wasteland, as they've played many, many hours of Fallout and are adept at killing bloatflies and collecting bottlecaps.
Of course, many nerds are running out of hygienic products, but they say that's "not an issue."
Now, that would be the real crisis. I’m surprised the Bee hasn’t hit on that satire news option yet
“Internet shut down over COVID-19 virus fears”...
It would be biblical...
I’ve been “medically housebound” for 7 years, so what’s one more day!
next will be...no sex with partners...
This morning, our school district cancelled classes for the next two weeks. I showed the print out to my teenaged son. He snapped a photo and shared it in two group chats. They were promptly organizing D&D, Magic the Gathering and online gaming sessions.
I think you would enjoy this. You seem a kindred spirit! https://youtu.be/3LSQcKcwnNA ( Elliott Homestead youtube channel)
What a treasure! Yes, definitely kindred spirits! I love homesteading/homemaking. For you and me, the chance to work lovingly at home is no hardship at all. Thank you for the link, will enjoy it!
There’s some truth to this!
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