Posted on 03/13/2020 9:59:19 AM PDT by bitt
The nation's nerds woke up in a utopia this morning, one where everyone stays inside, sporting events are being canceled, and all social interaction is forbidden.
All types of nerds, from social introverts to hardcore PC gamers, welcomed the dawn of this new era, privately from their own homes.
"I have been waiting my whole life for this moment," said Ned Pendleton, 32 -- via text message, of course -- as he fired up League of Legends on his beefy gaming PC. "They told me to take up a sport and that the kids playing basketball and stuff were gonna be way more successful than us nerds who played Counter-Strike at LAN parties every weekend."
"They all laughed at me. Well, who's laughing now?"
To prepare for the onslaught of the deadly disease, nerds are changing absolutely nothing and are expected to rise up to rule the post-Coronavirus society, as they are the ones best adjusted to being sheltered in a basement, garage, or room for many days at a time marathoning Halo, Half-Life, The Legend of Zelda, Red Dead Redemption, or Horizon Zero Dawn. They're also ready for any post-apocalyptic wasteland, as they've played many, many hours of Fallout and are adept at killing bloatflies and collecting bottlecaps.
Of course, many nerds are running out of hygienic products, but they say that's "not an issue."
Every one of these sports events that shuts down has a bunch of low paid minions as support workers. Not good.
What if people discovered that life is good without pro sports, rock concerts etc? What if people discovered they enjoy peaceful, calming pursuits like gardening, reading, cooking? What if people learned to unplug from the relentless media anti Trump propaganda and fear mongering? And people learned they can bring their kids home from the leftist indoctrination camps AKA colleges and universities’ nd that A) the world won’t come to an end and B) everyone figures out they or their kids do not have to go into debt to get a decent education.
This could be the beginning of a new era of freedom and self sufficiency!
Makes two of us.
Instead of being dragged to spouse sports support stuff on Saturdays, I can sleep in.
Well, churches can do Internet church services, and many Christians are allowed to do communion themselves, like the first Christians did (stock up on red wine, brothers and sisters).
It’s more of a family playing together thing. The grandchildren have children now.
I like and don’t mind PC games, but get distracted with other PC stuff while playing.
Also, most PC games I’ve tried the past few years seem to really “encourage” at least an hour’s activity every day.
Have a really good one to recommend?
These days the internet is never not being used, so not many will notice.
If it was 2001, that would have been a bit different.
So much love for your post! I told my husband the same thing yesterday. We are really just returning to an early time in this nation,which people didn’t fill their lives with so much of the world, where life was simple, peaceful and quiet. And ues, no liberal interference. Could be God’s way of slowing us down to be still and know who He is, to simply be humans.
That is SOOOO true.
(from a mother and wife of nerds)
The article is even better.
Really.
Well, I did buy another case of wine today to add to the preps!
” What if people discovered they enjoy peaceful, calming pursuits like gardening, reading, cooking? “
Ah yes, a nice, quiet combat pistol course. My blood pressure is lowering already.
Yea i have owned a lot of them too.
Not Oddessey but early pong and gunfighter games, then the Fairchild Channel F, 2600, ColecoVision, 5200, Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Sega Saturn....
but the day i bought that Voodoo Graphics 3dfx2 card around 1999 there was no going back...
I DID buy a PS3....for frigging $500 bucks all excited and all the but thing totally died 3 years later.
Barley bought any games for it anyways...mostly downloaded demos.
Used it mostly for Blu Ray, Netflix and the old HULU.
How do you infect that which has no life?
Whoops...NOT Saturn but Dreamcast.
Had a buddy at work making me bootleg cd games for it.
Never really got into it though..
the Voodoo card sent me into a entirely new direction....PC’s.
Political correctness meets the Corona-Virus....
THE PERFECT STORM
I’m like, “When do we get to quarantine?”
It’s good to focus on the shiny side of the coin. :)
My best bud growing up owned Both that really expensive CD-i machine and a Atari Jaguar both pretty impressive game machines for their time.
Good times....
I had not heard the Democratic National Convention was canceled.
I will miss seeing the Jayhawks take the title with their best team in years but am also on an old timers literature streak.
First I do one Canto of Edmund Spensers The Fairie Queen with my Middle English dictionary and a commentary beside me. Then it is a chapter in a new Logic text book I picked up by Houser. Then its about a hundred lines of The Aeneid in a newer poetic translation from the Latin. All with a new CD of Beethovens Adagios playing in the background. Then in the evening its D Jones new history of the Crusades followed by Hillary Mantels new third volume of the Wolf Hall saga on Cromwell.
Trashy audio book on British 18th century navel life is on my ear buds during the day when I work around the house. With two cycles of pill chemo to go, you have to keep your mind occupied while you cant get out much. Looks like only one concert we paid for- a piano recital at MIM will get canceled.
Imagine the panic if the internet were gone. No streaming, social media, gaming, etc.
That’d be even more frightening to me than CoVid-19.
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