Posted on 12/21/2019 6:36:25 PM PST by metmom
SACRAMENTO, CA—The California legislature unveiled plans last week for a new tax on the privilege of breathing.
The "Check Your Oxygen Privilege Act" will be voted on later this week. If passed into law, Californians will pay a progressive tax on inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide, with wealthier residents paying as much as 40% of their income for every breath they take. The poorest tax bracket may receive a subsidy for their breaths under the new model.
"Once again, California is at the forefront of progress," Governor Gavin Newsom said in a press conference Monday. "We've talked about taxing text messages, vehicle mileage, sneezing, sleeping, and your very existence, and this was the logical next step." The government has reportedly developed special breathing meters to help implement the bill, should it pass. Californians will be forced to purchase the meters from the state and wear them at all times to ensure accurate measurement of the amount of air they're using.
At publishing time, California had unveiled a tax on taxes, charging residents a luxury tax for the privilege of being taxed.
They’d get more from a tax on everyone voting!
Great satire. Adds a whole new meaning to the Police song lyrics, “Every breath you take, I’ll be watching you.”
The sad thing is, they would actually do this if they could get away with it.
Why not a tax on pooping in the streets?
I know.
That’s what makes it such great satire.
Oh, but that would unfairly hit the poor the hardest.
You wouldn’t want that, now would you?
I had to look to make sure this was Babylon Bee...You just never know about California...LOL
Taxing them one mil per exhalation is more equitable.
True.....
I’m reading this completely unsurprised by it and believing it to be entirely possible, then I check that is the Babylon Bee. What a sad state where parody and satire are in the realm of believable.
From some of the truck driver videos I’ve seen, they are in the process of implementing a program within the new EDA laws where they can tap into the trucks computer to check if you have broken the speed limit and then send you a fine. Some of the truckers are pretty upset about that. I’m sure it will evolve to regular cars and trucks next. That’ll be a gold mine!
It is.
They would tax the dead if was possible. Why not, they vote for DemRats from beyond.
I saw an old Mexican movie about the various governments of Mexico. In one scene a politician is wishing he could tax the air everyone breathes. So the politicians put a tax on doors and windows.
Result: Everyone blocked up their doors and windows and used a secret door to go in and out.
Nevada needs to charge California for air crossing into California.
Satire today, reality tomorrow.
Something like that happened in ancient Israel. You were taxed on the amount of trees you had. Result: People cut down their trees.
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