Posted on 07/31/2018 9:54:28 AM PDT by Simon Green
Selfish? Totally.
I have one boy. He’s the most special of all special boys and handsome as can be. But he’s autistic.
....
All the incidentals and help my friends have, I do not.
All the typical milestones my friends get to enjoy and show off, I do not.
Before I met my husband, I dreamt of a life similar to that of Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City. I know — it’s nauseating for me, too — but that’s the time I grew up in.
I wanted to be a writer, living in NYC, in a fabulous apartment, meeting men and falling in love, over and over again.
Well, I found the love part and I'm a writer, so I guess two out of four ain’t bad?
I miss that dream.
What would I be doing differently in that version of myself than the one I’m living now?
Currently, I’m writing this on the couch in a pitch black room so that my son doesn’t wake up or get fidgety. Because once he’s up, he’s up.
I’d like to think I’d be in my queen-sized bed in a large studio, inhaling a breeze from the open window that delivers the flavors of the street vendors and 24-hour food places, as I write my bloody little heart out the day before a deadline. Because if one thing is consistent, it’s that I’m a procrastinator in both scenarios.
But that’s all in another life, one that never formed, and one that will never be.
Can I honestly say I regret having my son? Most days, my answer would be yes.
(Excerpt) Read more at yourtango.com ...
We also have two daughters, now both adults, with one married and a new mother as of 12-17-17, and the other is engaged to be married 1-12-19. I wish that I had known just how much I was going to love being a mother because we would have started earlier and had at least two, maybe three more children.
Peach
lots of idiots out there!!! They do not want children but have them “because”. Their mom wants grandkids- friends have them and they feel “left out” of all the hoop la.
I had a friend with 2 kids. She and her hubs divorced. She did not want the kids- she said so. But her mom would have killed her if the husband got full custody. So she fought to keep them when all she wanted was to go out and party, unencumbered.
The author should not have reproduced, period.
They really need to do more research on the link between autism and the quantity and quality of the interaction between infants and their mothers.
But that won’t happen and we know why.
Thanks for your good works. I can’t even imagine a life without God. This woman and her son need our prayers.
Imagine what your kids’ lives would be like if you didn’t have them.
She is already heading FULL STEAM AHEAD! to that eternity.
“Selfish? Totally.”
This is the formula for ultimate misery.
Yes. But she is a mentally ill shrew.
WHORE!!
When I was younger, I dreamt of a life similar to that of Ensign Chekov on "Star Trek." Little did I realize that I'd end up as a Crewman, 3rd Class, cleaning plasma conduits during the night shift on the lower decks.
Regards,
That poor kid.
I can walk in this ladies shoes; I have no life hardly outside my responsibilities since “free-time” is absorbed, friends/activities (Involving interaction with other adults) are put on hold most of the time, etc... that goes along with being a single parent.
Do I regret having children? Heck no.
Only a selfish and narcissistic sociopath would regret having kids (Leaving kids) along with murdering them in the womb out of convenience.
Wow. Selfish woman.
Look at what form her “frustrations and regrets” took.
I know a woman in New Jersey who had one paraplegic son and one mentally handicapped daughter in addition to two other healthy children (husband died in the 1990s) and you’d never hear her say any of the selfish and self-serving things this woman is saying.
This article reveals a person so trivial, self-centered and utterly clueless that it’s hard to know where to begin.
The thing that’s truly awful, of course, is that she virtually represents her “Sex and the City” generation.
I’ve thought about this for 5 minutes and tried so hard to come up with another, more mature, more reasoned, opening for my post. But I cannot. It needs to begin with (to the author, not Simon)
F*** you, you selfish b*tch.
Most people on earth need help from other people SOMETIMES. We are all supposed to be here for each other; it is part of Gd’s plan. It is the meaning of life. And there is fun and joy within. Some people need help from others ALL or MOST of the time. It is the flick of the dice which ones of us need that help and which of us are here to give it.
Having two children with quite special needs, a mom with new special needs, I can agree that caring for the helpless IS NOT LAUGH A MINUTE FUN. But it gives me depth to my heart even through some resentment. It makes me one with the world as I help someone who needs it. I’m also not a born helper; I never desired to be a nurse or a teacher. But it has made me better and made life richer for me to help others.
I almost want to adopt this woman’s unlucky son. On their hardest days I’d like to sell my special needs people or give them away cheap, but only in that moment. I could NEVER tap out onto a keyboard and publish that I regret them. She did that. She even edited it. I’m sure she thinks this makes her look real and cool. I hold her in contempt.
As humans, we give, even if it hurts. If it feels good, it isn’t giving. And one day she might find herself needing help. Maybe then she will understand how cruel this essay really was.
>>I don’t have kids myself, largely because I didn’t want the enormous personal and financial responsibility that raising a child entails. <<
Interestingly, I am child-free but it was not to avoid anything. Part of it Mrs. FD and I married it older — in our late 30s and agreed we was unfair and dangerous to have kids.
The larger part was I never felt that “I want to have a kid” feeling that so many purposeful parents feel. It was and is describing eyesight to the blind.
But I need only look to my mother to know about love of children whether wanted or not. To regret your child to the point you would admit it is borderline evil IMHO.
I was a trial to my mom. I know I caused her great heartache. But I 100% guarantee she never said she regretted having me nor any of my siblings.
Drew. I love you. But I want to slap you. Did you hear what you said? You and your wife were BLESSED with healthy children?? I was blessed with mine too!! Even the ones with differences that make life harder. Everyone is blessed to be given a chance to raise a child. It does not matter in terms of the love and blessing of being a parent whether that child is biologically perfect. Which none of them are, really.
The opposite of blessing is cursing. People with kids with disabilities or leukemia are not cursed. Sure, these are obstacles no one wants but we are not cursed. All children are beautiful.
I have a daughter with a brain injury. She’s an identical twin. I wanted 2 kids, but I got 3 and one is brain injured.
I’ve never even imagined life without any of them.
When my daughter was 5 and non-verbal I worried what life would hold for her. It drove me to help her more.
I will say I’m very, very thankful that we found ways to help her. She’s starting her senior year in college and looking at grad schools. She’s doing better than the rest of us academically.
She really wants to get married and have kids. She is different. Once again, I’m not sad for me. I just want her to be happy.
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