Top 10 Funniest Puns

sycmu ^ | 3/1/2018 | unknown

[JudyinCanada]

We had a good laugh at the office years ago when the tennis player Billy Jean King was first accused of being a lesbian. I was asked if I believed it and I said that it was likely true....why would anyone accuse her of that if she wasn’t? It would be rather fruitless. I didn’t even clue in until they started laughing.

[CrazyIvan]

I’m afraid my reward would be charges of plagiarism.

[um1990]

A Termite walks into a bar, and asks... “Is the bar tender here?”

[Political Junkie Too]

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

-PJ

[reed13k]

for later forwarding to my pun-enjoying daughter

[u57896]

Wife and I were standing outside the pet store in the mall before Christmas one year. Several people around admiring the Christmas puppies! People were commenting about what breed they may be. Maltese?, pekinese?, Pomeranians?. Then someone said they saw Cocker Spaniel in them. Like an idiot, I said with out thinking, “Maybe they are little Cock-teses” DDDOOOHHHH. Wife gave me the flying elbow. Guys shoulders started to shudder. Women turned around and gave me the eye. I quietly walked away.

[Robert A Cook PE]

The funniest puns occur accidentally.

As someone known for bad jokes, I can tell you that when I pun by accident it is much better received.

Accidentally? You really need to deliberately have more pun in your life.

[Red Badger]

All those listed puns were amateurish.

They should leave them to the professionals...........

[JoeProBono]

[fungoking]

Mickey Mouse gives me Disney spells.

[Robert A Cook PE]

And how do you make a hormone?

Ask if she takes credit for her work?

[kosciusko51]

From a completely different topic:

[JoeFromSidney]

Q: What’s the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? A: You can’t make a vitamin. - Benny Hill?

When I heard it, the difference was "you can't hear a vitamin.

[Phlap]

What is long and slimy and full of seamen? A submarine.

[sportutegrl]

The parents of a lady potato wanted her to marry someone special. But she fell in love with Bill O’Reilly instead. The parents disapproved. After all, he’s just a common-tater.

They probably wouldn't approve of Kim Jong Un either. He's a Dick-tater.

[Big Red Badger]

How do you make a hormone!?

Two dollar tip!

[Fester Chugabrew]

“How does it change many dyslexics to take a light bulb?”

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

A woman wasn’t looking where she was going and backed into an airplane propeller. Disaster.

[Yaelle]

Pret ty, pret ty good!

[YankeeinOkieville]

And how do you make a hormone?

********

You do a good job!