Posted on 12/24/2017 8:57:26 AM PST by OneVike
Many years ago, shortly before Christmas, there was a young boy named Ricky. His father had to go away for awhile, and so his family had to move to another part of the city where his mom could be closer to the place where she worked.
It was far away from the neighborhood Ricky new and the friends he left behind, but soon he met a new friend who lived near by.
It was the day before Christmas, with fresh snow on the ground and Christmas music playing on the radio. His older sisters were helping mom bake Christmas cookies while his brothers were playing a game of cards in the living room.
Ricky's new friend came over to see if he wanted to go sledding. He asked his mom and she said he could, but not to stay out past dark. He grabbed his sled and headed to a hill in a park that was not too far from the apartment complex.
They spent the afternoon sledding, building snowmen, and even got into a playful snowball fight with some other boys in the neighborhood. They had so much fun they lost track of the time. All of a sudden the street lights came on and Ricky told his friend he had to go home.
They said their goodbyes and each boy headed into opposite directions to their home. As he headed in the direction of the building where he lived, he looked back where the hill was and his new friend had already disappeared out of site.
Ricky was hungry, and looked forward to those Christmas cookies his mom and sisters were baking. Nothing like some hot cocoa and cookies to warm up with after a great day of sledding.
The closer he got to the apartment complex the more he realized all the buildings looked alike. Even the cars all looked the same with the fresh snow on them. It was quiet, and Ricky didn't recognize anything. There wasn't anyone else outside, not even his brothers or sisters.
Ricky's ears and feet were getting colder by the minute. He continued trudging thorough the snow, pulling his sled from building to building. Soon he started to panic as he kept looking for anything familiar.
The sidewalks weren't shoveled. The streets weren't plowed. It was getting darker and darker. To make matters even worse, it started to snow again.
Ricky's heart sank into his chest as he realized he was completely lost. He was scared, cold, hungry, and lonely. He sat down on the steps of one of the buildings, and wondered if he would ever see his mom and family again. He would miss Christmas and no one would want him and his life would be over.
Sitting all hunched up to keep warm, with his head into his gloved hands, Ricky began to cry.
Soon, all he could hear was the noise of his own crying.
Suddenly a faint voice broke through his misery. He heard a woman softly asking him what was wrong. Ricky tried to talk, but his nose was running and he couldn't stop crying. The lady sat down next to him, and asked again,
“What's wrong? Why are you crying?”
He finally calmed down enough to answer,
“I can't find my home. We just moved here, and I'm lost”
The lady put her arm around him, pulled him into her chest, and said to him,
“Ricky. This is your home, and you are sitting on our steps.”
Ricky then recognized the voice. It was his mother. He turned and looked at the most beautiful face he had ever seen. Jumping up, he grabbed his mom around her neck, and hugged her tightly.
His tears turned to joy. He wasn't lost after all!
His mom held him tight and gave him a loving hug that turned all his fears into happiness. He was home with his family, on Christmas Eve.
No doubt you prayed when you were lost. The HOLY SPIRIT must have directed your steps.
GOD hears our prayers and answers our prayers.
You always end up at home because the love of home/scent of cookies/ is a magnet that draws you there, even if you think you are just wandering about. Wherever your feet take you, wherever you are at Christmas (or any other time?) well, “that” is “home” because your feet or instinct took you there. A good way to assign a larger meaning to any experience in life is to look at the real experience “as-if” you dreamed it and are wondering why you would have dreamed it. By doing this, many layers of meaning will bubble up to the surface. In this case, “took home for granted, didn’t pay attention to “time” and lost track and then got a sense of all is lost and realization of how important it all is.
“He wasn’t lost at all!” = literally he “found himself”.
stars & stripes gets it.
I think there are a lot of published freepers, though I don’t know if any write children’s books.
I was told years ago that publishers pick the artist, so that is a non issue. Unless you are going to self-publish, then the burden is on you to select the artist.
Thanks, I like your input.
If it really was pride then just as well that it passed.
Ricky new . . .make that Ricky knew
He means pride in ownership. Even if you live in government housing, you should have enough self-respect to maintain your living space. Too many of those in that kind of housing now do not. I knew a guy who owned rental units. A family moved out after months of not paying and, among other things (holes in the walls, a toilet which seemingly had never been cleaned), he found they had burned wood logs in the electric oven! Who can even imagine such a thing? He fixed it up and it was trashed again by the next tenants.
I love your story!
I’m been working on a book, too, and I learned early on that almost every person I told about it wasn’t interested in anything I had to say and, instead of showing interest and asking questions, they gave advice and guidance without being asked to do so and without knowing enough about the story to give helpful advice.
After those experiences I realized that my story is exactly that: my story. Mostly I’m keeping it to myself. I share its progress with my husband and a few very close friends who are genuinely interested in my story and who have been encouraging and helpful and honestly critical.
I hope you continue to work on this book. Your story touched me. I think this can become a beautiful book and I hope that one day soon I can buy several for gifts!
Merry Christmas!
pax
P.S. I’m so sleepy that my eyes are crossing so please excuse anything nonsensical in this post! :-)
Yes, I have been told that many times now. LOL. Thanks
Oh it was not nonsensical, I truly appreciate your feedback. Please do nit give up on your book. I too have had more negative responses from neighbors, friends, and relatives than positive ones.
I take them all in stride and try not to let them stop me, even though my inclination is to delete it, I will not.
I pray I can take all criticism and suggestions to heart.
If you would, send me a copy of what you have and I will read it and give any advice or just to see what you have. I will pm my email address to you.
Your story has great potential. There are some good suggestions here from the FReepers who are actually trying to be helpful.
Based on other FReepers’ comments — because I’m not much of an original thinker :) — it seems like you need:
1) A set-up for the place in time — no cell phones, etc.,
and
2) Something more specific about where the father is, e.g.,
military.
My own imagination wants answers to these questions:
1) Why does Ricky go with his friend instead of his brothers
to play in the snow?
2) What is Ricky feeling about not having his father around
at Christmastime?
3) What kind of religious discussion about Christmas has
taken place in Ricky’s home?
I had some others, but, since this is for grade school kids, it should stay somewhat simple.
By far the best questions/comments are from Anima Mundi at 22 and 23. Great themes to explore.
Hope this has been helpful.
Merry Christmas! And best of luck with this book.
Thank you. I do agree, I have gotten some great suggestions. I will take them all to heart.
Merry Christmas Red.
Cute story.
Thank you
Why not illustrate it yourself? Go to an arts store, buy yourself some paints or colored pencils, or whatever, and go to town. Even if you think you cant draw, the illustrations doesnt have to be professional looking.
Self publish on kindle as a test. It might help you decide on whether or not to invest in getting it published on paper.
My daughter did that with a story she hand wrote as a teen. Many years later she typed it, I edited it and she published it on Amazon. It is a good little book that made me wish she would continue. I thought if people read it, it would catch on and readers would encourage her to write a sequel. It was a lot of work and am proud of her, but it never caught on. She gets a couple of dollars every once in awhile from Amazon. I think marketing it is a huge job and we really did not do that.
// Ricky’s heart sank into his chest as he realized he was completely lost. He was scared, cold, hungry, and lonely. He sat down on the steps of one of the buildings, and wondered if he would ever see his mom and family again. He would miss Christmas and no one would want him and his life would be over. //
Just came across your story. I love this paragraph, it is *so* like a little kid :-)
Thank you. The story may change in some small ways, but I do plan on keeping that part exactly as it is.
Thanks again.
I’ll consider it, but I am not much at drawing.
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