Posted on 05/14/2017 1:33:01 PM PDT by SamAdams76
They just don't.
In my high school years, I was Richie Cunningham. The earnest young boy from "Happy Days" who always was looking to please others, especially the adults in his life.
As a result, we were walked all over, taken advantage of and subsequently, not dated by girls.
Now Richie Cunningham might have had a girlfriend or two during the fictitious "Happy Days" run but in my real-life Richie Cunningham phase, I had zero girlfriends. I did have several dates that went disastrously wrong because I thought dating was all about being a nice guy. It wasn't.
During that phase, my date would go something like this: I would drive to the girl's house in my dad's '76 baby-blue Chrysler Newport and do the obligatory meeting with the girl's dad. I'd talk about my college plans, maybe the military. I'd tell him about my job at the supermarket bagging groceries and shagging carts and assuring him that the movie I was taking his daughter to was PG rated. I could almost see the dad subconsciously tagging me as a loser and telling me to just bring his daughter home "at a reasonable hour."
Then once I got the girl in the car, I would ask her what she wanted to do. She'd look at me like I had three heads and reply, shrugging, that she would do whatever I wanted to do. So we'd end up seeing some PG rated movie that sucked (think "Kramer vs Kramer" or "Jazz Singer" with Neil Diamond) and would have an awkward nightcap at some Denny's or Friendly's over some grilled cheese and a milkshake. During all this, I'd try to work up conversation but saying I was all in with "women's lib" and that I think that women are better than men in just about every way. I'd ask her about her favorite band and that band just happened to be my favorite band too. Even if it was Abba or the Bee Gees. Then I'd talk about my baseball card collection or how I like to walk along the beach at low tide and toss clams back into the ocean so that they don't die. Once the night was over, she'd shake my hand and tell me that she had a good time and we should do this again sometime. Except she'd never call me, would avoid me in the high school hallway and would never return my calls.
In my Richie Cunningham phase, I never even got to first base. Either it was a total strikeout or a foul pop up out.
It was then that I realized that girls don't like nice boys. I had just joined the Marine Corps and was about to go into boot camp so I had nothing to lose. Just after graduation, I asked a girl on a date and decided to be a total jerk. I refused to meet with her father and insisted she just come to the car. I took her to see "The Shining" with Jack Nicholson starring. She loved it. We went to a real restaurant afterwards and I ordered her meal plus a seven & seven for both of us even though we were not old enough to drink yet. She loved it.
We spent the next two hours necking at the beach before I took her home, well after midnight. She started ringing me up the morning afterwards asking if we could go out again. I didn't return her call for two days. Finally I called and she answered on the very first ring. This was way before cell phones so she was basically sitting at home waiting for me to call.
I was Richie Cunningham no more.
Many like the challenge of getting the ungetable... the conquest... the conquering that one before other females get him.... like screwing the Catholic priest or in some cases the guy that mamma and daddy do not approve of and demand that they do not ASSociate with. The nice guy that tries to please them and make them feel happy and secure are a BOREING puppy dog.
I very much think there’s a biological reason for girls liking “bad boys” and it’s exactly what you’ve written.
Phew.
You weren't a nice guy. You were a complete wuss. And the girls probably picked up on your dishonesty.
It was then that I realized that girls don’t like nice boys...”
You weren’t nice, you were, based on your story, a fake, phony, fruad. And a little slow on the uptake. (movies are foe peoplw who know one another and are comfortable spending 2 hrs in the dark NOT talking. Also, there is another side to the nice thing: ie spectacularly pretty, intelligent and accomplished girls who wouldn’t date one of the “edgy cool” guys if you put a gun to their heads. I knew such girls.
“The woman of your dreams is rarely the woman of your heart” - Celerity
I should write a book about me in High School. Born with deformities, it wasn’t “easy” to get a date. But instead, it made me skip all the BS and get to some damned answers before it was too late and I wound up a hermit.
I dated some beautiful girls. Of those, I found two who were actually worth my time and effort.
The keys are like the Dao. To understand the dao, you must learn it then unlearn it. “Nice guys” DO finish first. But you have to understand what a nice guy is.
I wasn’t ever a douche to these girls, but I wasn’t a pushover. I would meet their fathers and tell them exactly what I was about. I drove crummy cars. Even though my arms are deformed, I wore short sleeve shirts.
And I was never afraid to go to fisticuffs. Bullies were waiting for a guy like me around every corner. I fought every one of them with zeal.
Also, all problems with getting women are solved with motorcycles. It can be a $25,000 harley or a $250 70s sccrambler. Doesn’t matter. Riding a bike changes everything. You can be yourself.. but be yourself on a bike.
Nevertheless, I suspect the insecurities that affected decent people in my youth are the same that impact decent people today.
I don't recall ever abusing anyone. I do recall getting together with numerous lasses...some of whom we hit it off...some of whom wished we never met.
I was captured by a lass who was merciless. That was about 4.5 decades ago.
There are likely lads and lasses today who would or should be radioactive to unsuspecting others. It seems like there should be lads and lasses today who would or should be a treasure to those in the hunt.
It’s not that girls don’t like nice guys. It’s that they don’t like wimps.
Girls are programmed to want someone who can make them feel secure, someone who is in command of his environment. Hence the “girls attracted to bad boys” phenomenon. It’s not that he’s bad, it’s that he doesn’t take any shut.
First of all, any “dating advice” is essentially garbage when it comes to current young adults because any semblance of courtship as traditionally known is dead.
Divorce culture, 3rd Wave Feminism, hookup culture, and an epidemic of Narcissism has made things a nightmare. Many women are entitled and have such delusionally high standards, yet offer quite little compared to previous generations.
Men are also emasculated and rather than try to shape up are increasingly choosing to drop out altogether.
Sure the Apex of society, the Alpha Males and Females will pair off, but the regular Joes and Bettys are left twisting in the wind thanks to the toxic social norms, or lack thereof, and will destroy the middle class.
Also, a message to young men (especially my sons) to seize the day, be yourselves, and not worry about so much what others think of you.
“I was a “bad boy” and trust me, we didn’t too very well either. The parents wouldn’t let their daughters date us. We PRETENDED we were doin a lot better than we were. Just like we were pretending to be a lot “badder” than we really were.”
ROTFLOL!
I can’t speak to your sitch but I’m as happy as hell I’m not in the game today. All three genders are loaded with psychotics.
My thinking on guys when I was young: treat me like sh*t and I’ll love you forever. That completely changes as one grows older.
No, that came a little later. But same m.o., our first dates were with me in charge. Then it gradually evened out. Thirty years later we are still married but even now I’ll occasionally tell her to get her stuff together and come with me. And I’ll usually surprise her.
It’s in our biology. Women are attracted to wealth and power, men are attracted to youth and beauty. It’s a biological imperative, build into our wetware. Women need to be selective for passing on genes, men want to spread their genes far and wide.
80% of all women ever born produced offspring. Something like only 40% of all males ever born produced any offspring.
80% of the women are chasing 20% of the men and if you ask them, they won’t know why other than that they are attracted to them. Wetware...can’t fool it.
Most healthy, well-rounded people grow up and realize that their ‘first choice’ would have been a disaster..
If your nice to women they think you are being nice because they are better than you. If you are mean to women they think it is because you are better than them. This is the reason relationships are so hard.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.