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Feminist Hero Refuses To Let Fireman Carry Her From Burning Building [satire]
The Babylon Bee ^ | 04-24-2017 | Staf

Posted on 04/24/2017 5:32:21 PM PDT by NRx

HELL’S KITCHEN, NY—A woman is being heralded as a feminist icon after refusing to let a male firefighter carry her out of a burning building.

The woman burned to death several minutes later, sources confirmed.

According to FDNY firefighters, the woman was spotted in the living room of her home, which had become engulfed in flames. Immediately, one of New York’s bravest charged through the the front door to rescue the helpless woman.

But what happened next will go down in the history books.

As the fireman reached out to pick up the woman and carry her to safety, she stood in defiance, crying out, “What, because I’m a woman, you think I need to be carried? Is that it?” just before her hair burst into flames.

“Ma’am, you are on fire, and your legs appear broken,” the firefighter said calmly, coaxing her to come with him if she wanted to live.

“That’s sooooo typical, hitting on me in the middle of an emergency. Smash the patriarchy!” she screamed.

When it became clear that she would not come with him, the firefighter reluctantly left the building just before it collapsed in a heap of ash and rubble.

At publishing time, the National Organization for Women had announced plans to erect a statue of the brave feminist hero where the building once stood, in honor of her courageous defiance of male dominance.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; humor; satire
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To: NRx

Clicked prepared to be outraged. The author should have dragged it out a little more, I knew it was satire before I could get my smug on.


41 posted on 04/24/2017 6:45:13 PM PDT by dangerdoc (disgruntled)
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To: NRx

They say there is no fixing stupid...this time, they were wrong. The stupid got fixed...permanently!


42 posted on 04/24/2017 6:51:52 PM PDT by GoldenPup
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To: NRx

From the web site:

“The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.”


43 posted on 04/24/2017 7:24:39 PM PDT by Albion Wilde ("We will be one people, under one God, saluting one American flag." --Donald Trump)
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To: NRx
Keyword:

Satire

44 posted on 04/24/2017 8:34:53 PM PDT by Disambiguator (Keepin' it analog.)
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To: NRx
As the fireman reached out to pick up the woman and carry her to safety, she stood in defiance, crying out, “What, because I’m a woman, you think I need to be carried? Is that it?” just before her hair burst into flames.

I laughed so hard I scared the cats, then scared' em again reading all the Freeper comments that followed.

Haven't had such a good laugh in a long time!

45 posted on 04/24/2017 9:49:29 PM PDT by pigsmith (Bwahahaha!!)
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To: outofsalt

She looks like a young Rachel Corrie to you? Perhaps that’s a good name for the statue.

Note: I raised all of my kids to be strong. “Strong girls/women” was not a goal. Good people who are also strong was the goal, whether male or female, but the focus on girls being strong because they’re girls irritates me. They should be strong because they are people, Americans, and especially Christians who get their strength from a source of unlimited power. They should not be “strong” because they celebrate abortion and live for identity politics.


46 posted on 04/25/2017 2:26:44 AM PDT by Pollster1 ("Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed")
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To: fieldmarshaldj

"Young Rachel Corrie"

47 posted on 04/25/2017 2:33:37 AM PDT by Pollster1 ("Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed")
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To: Pollster1
This whole "defiance=strength" garbage is

*really*

tiresome and annoying.

48 posted on 04/26/2017 6:16:02 PM PDT by pigsmith
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To: Pollster1

(having re-read my comment, it looks as if I’m chastising the way you raised your kids! . :—O —nooo, it’s just clumsy commenting about the statue)


49 posted on 04/26/2017 6:24:08 PM PDT by pigsmith
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To: pigsmith

I read it exactly the way you meant it, and I agree. I’m pretty strong and skilled with firearms, but I would not stand in front of a charging bull without reason. That’s not being strong, just stupid.

In the real world, I have seen several dangerous animals respond to children very differently than they respond to adults. In particular, I watched a very young child pulling a professionally trained German Shepard’s ears and poking at it, and the dog tolerated the abuse gently. When I approached, I got a very clear growl. Similarly, we all know the story of a gorilla and the boy who fell at the zoo. I don’t know if a bull might respond similarly, but it’s at least plausible . . . while the child is very young. For anyone to take forbearance by a bull/dog/gorilla as proof of the little girl’s strength would be foolish.


50 posted on 04/26/2017 6:37:17 PM PDT by Pollster1 ("Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed")
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To: Pollster1

I’d love to see the statues representing a point in time about 15-30 seconds after the “snapshot” shown here. Sixty pounds of girl don’t do well against 2,000 pounds of charging bull, regardless of how much “bravery” (i.e. stupidity) she shows.


51 posted on 04/29/2017 7:17:45 AM PDT by exDemMom (Current visual of the hole the US continues to dig itself into: http://www.usdebtclock.org/)
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To: Alberta's Child
I thought this was a real story until I saw the photo of the house in the linked article. That sure as heck isn’t “Hell’s Kitchen” in New York City. LOL.

Heh! Really. In an alternate universe maybe.

52 posted on 04/29/2017 7:22:27 AM PDT by COBOL2Java ("Game over, man, game over!" (my advice to DemocRATs))
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