Posted on 02/24/2017 4:42:47 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Date When Celebrated : Always February 24
Today is a holiday with a crunch. One might even suggest that it is a corny holiday. Well, that's okay because today is National Tortilla Chip Day. Just a few decades ago, Americans seldom ate Corn Chips and Salsa. It's popularity has grown immensely. Today is a tribute to that rising popularity of one of America's favorite munchies.
Did you know? The corn chip recipe was brought to the U.S. from Mexico by texas businessman Elmer Doolin.
Celebrate National Tortilla Chip Day with a handful of crunchy, tasty corn chips and your favorite salsa or dip.
Recipe of the Day: Taco Dip
I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, “You’re kinda cute. You gotta phone number?”
I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?”
She said, “Yeah, I got a pen”.
I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When youre seventy...............who cares?
**********
I went to the drug store and told the clerk “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”
Lady Clerk: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?
I said “Nah... She’s purty good lookin’.....”
When youre seventy..............who cares?
***********
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all right.
I said, If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When youre seventy...............who cares?
**********
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
“Really” she said, “Go on then... try.”
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, “Come on, what day was I born?”
I said, “Yesterday.”
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When youre seventy...............who cares?
*********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When youre seventy...............who cares?
**********
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, “Good legs.”
The girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so?”
I said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When youre seventy...............who cares?
There are two ways to post to the OFST.
One is to let your silliness dribble out in individual posts so that the thread eventually reaches into the hundreds, and the other is to just toss up a link and be done with it.
For those who don’t like the links, my favorite so far is:
There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.
— Robert Byrne
Cashier: Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?
Why did I think the punch would be him pissing perfectly into a coffee cup?
Top 50?
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
To #34. Re the photo of the kid with the Communist symbol on his head.
Where did you get a picture of John Podesta as a kid? Or is that Obama at Columbia?
No, it can’t be George Soros, can it? He was wearing Swastikas when he sold out his fellow Jewish brethren in Hungary to the Nazis. Of it could be him. He’d sell out his mother if he could make a buck. Come to think of it, perhaps he did. He might still have it on his wall with a note that says, Hungary 1944, my first buck was on Mom.
I’d change that slogan on the laptop to “Morons of the world UNITE. You have nothing”.
Not any more!
Cheaper than a wall is a simple sign: As you cross this border, your share of the debt Obama irresponsibly ran up becomes $61,332. Welcome.
There are two types of people in this world.
Those who understand humor and those who don’t.
Fortunately, only one type hangs out here.
I wondered the same thing.
When you have too much time on your hands.
Wow! We think alike?
Well, I feel complimented.
I’m sorry you’ve been so insulted.
"Ceterum censeo Islam esse delendam."
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
There are two types of posters on OFST. Those who post text and those who post images.
And those who post images with text. Three, three types of posters on OFST. Those who post text, those who post images, those who post images with text, and those who post animated gifs.
FOUR! There are FOUR types of posters who post on OFST. Those who post text, those who post images, those who post images with text, those who post animated gifs, and those who use media mail - AHHHHH! I’ll come in again.
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