Oh well I will tell it after all.
got a broken heart because I girl I didn't even realize I still loved is going with someone now. We were together in 2009-2011, I wasn't sober then and she wasn't either. It was a nightmare with occasional good times.
I get sober, she doesn't, we stay out of contact.
In the last two years she wants to be friends. She's still struggling with sobriety. She's the sort of drunk that after 2 days of drinking ends up in serious withdrawls.
She begins to put together a little time. Two times she has to stay on my couch, one for a pair of months, one for about a week. First one was good, for a while, then she drinks, it's a nightmare. She goes to rehab, gets nine months(!). She comes out and she's on the couch.
All the stuff that is amazing about her, shines. I already was having some feelings emerge from being with her on the phone. After the last most recent week I kinda fall again. I didn't realize I did. She didn't know it, I didn't know it. I thought MAYBE after she gets enough sober time, MAYBE. Mentioned it to her a bunch of times, so she kinda knew that part. When she started going with this dude, I was like, WTF, I actually still love her.
When she chooses the new guy -- and it's likely, new is always exciting -- it will be a total rejection of me. I never am anyone's backup plan. To me that is a Burn Notice. You either love me or you found something lacking in me and you will leave me eventually for someone else anyways.
She drank again 2 weeks ago, and the guy she's seeing is in Narcotics anonymous. He's got more than a year clean, but people in the program know not to screw around with newcomers. I don't see it ending well, but I cannot care any more.
When she chooses him, I shall cut all contact, even friendship. I cannot be her friend without developing feelings.
Dump her. People like that only drag you down.
95 bottles of beer on the wall,
95 bottles of beer,
Take one down, pass it around...
........
........
Damn, forgot my line!!!!!
Should have read #3 before posting #6.
Nah. Post #6 stands. I’m a complete non-drinker (health reasons). But humor is humor.
Poster #4 makes a decent point. She doesn’t seem good for you. Laz needs to look out for Laz. Period.
My FRiend, one thing I’ve come to believe in my 50 of 68 years ... more men change for a woman than a woman changes for a man.
This woman is making a bad choice. There are very few Lazamatazes in the world. Thus she is undeserving of you. Hey, that could be today’s new word: “undeserving.”
Hang in there bro. Staying sober is THE most important thing in your life.
Your heart will hurt but you will move on and find someone that is GOOD for you.
Trust me on this one.
It’s the hanging on that hurts....let her go, and set yourself free.
Sorry to hear this. Maybe it’s better to just move on.
Been there under a different situation. It’s a tough nut to crack. It’s a comfort zone you made for yourself. It’s tough to get started man but once you do its easier in the long run. Gotta break free and start walking another path. If she comes around she’ll know what direction she’s gotta go. But for you own sanity ya gotta get up and start walking... Just sayin. . .
Ditto what sit-rep said. We waste so much time hoping for what might be instead of embracing all the good and amazing that is. Remember that you are worth the effort for someone. Just guard your heart. The right one will capture it.
Ditto what sit-rep said. We waste so much time hoping for what might be instead of embracing all the good and amazing that is. Remember that you are worth the effort for someone. Just guard your heart. The right one will capture it.
She sounds like a project...but knowing how love hurts...I can feel your pain
BRIFFAULT’S LAW:
The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place. — Robert Briffault, The Mothers, I, 191.
In other words, If you have nothing to offer a woman which she considers a benefit, you don’t have a chance. If you have offered something in the past, the question “what have you done for me lately” is usually followed by the woman “trading up” to another man who can offer even more.
Robert Stephen Briffault (1876 – 11 December 1948) was trained as a surgeon, but found fame as a social anthropologist and in later life as a novelist, he wrote these words over 60 years ago and they are just as true today as they were back then, if not more so.
www.mgtow.com
also suggest you look up sandman on you tube and turd flinging monkey, they are all mgtow.
The only reason to have a woman is if you want to reproduce. They cannot think or love as men do and that’s proven. Name one female in history that religion says was any type of savior.
Females have only 2 basic concerns: 1. How much money and resources does the male have and 2.How much security can you provide to her in order for her to spend your resources that you gave her and is there more to replace it to her satisfaction.
You are better off without them as you will save lots of money and resources and drama and grief if you do without them and if you can’t, hire a professional expensive one as the price is up front and fixed and they won’t be diseased or seek to wipe you out financially.
I’m sorry.
I don’t know what else to say but that.
fwiw, when you’re given a second chance at life, it’s best not to bring along the bad habits from the former.
Stay away from her-—your own sobriety is the most important thing.
Without that you will have nothing.
.
Good for you for your recovery, and for being a friend to one who's still trying to get there. Having made it through to the other side, I'm sure it's hard watching her battle, especially when you know the rewards for winning. It could be that her having feelings for you remind her of the rough times, and she feels it's best for her to not go back there. Just a guess.
Anyway, many hugs and prayers for you. I've never had the battle, but many family members have, including my father.
I'd check for dehydration.