Posted on 10/17/2016 4:14:22 AM PDT by Lazamataz
I’m sorry.
I don’t know what else to say but that.
fwiw, when you’re given a second chance at life, it’s best not to bring along the bad habits from the former.
Stay away from her-—your own sobriety is the most important thing.
Without that you will have nothing.
.
The one thing that seems to be improving is my time to recovery.
When my heart was broken as a teen, I would have a bad year.
When my heart was broken in my 20’s, I would have a bad few months.
When my heart was broken in my 30’s, I would have a bad few weeks.
When my heart was broken in my 40’s, I would have a few bad days.
Now that I am in my 50’s, I seem to have a few bad hours.
That’s the spirit!
Also, all you have said is true. I have no business being around this woman. There’s some stuff I have been not talking about, namely that when she came to stay, her behavior was different. She was staying out until 10 and left a day early. I came to the conclusion that she was with this guy all along and just used me and lied.
Confronted her by text, she denied of course, but there is a very bad bottom line. Either she is lying again or not, but bottom line is I don’t trust her. Too much experience those five years ago when she manipulated and used me near-to-death.
I cannot build anything on that.
She has a ton of qualities I want. Very attractive physically; great sense of humor; understands my sense of humor. Intelligent.
But the negatives so outweigh the positives.
I can move on with no problems or hitches. I will let the friendship die too.
Sorry bro I think this is a broken viewpoint. There's nothing good in prostitution sex. It's very empty. I want sex that is meaningful and in a loving relationship.
And I give female humans more credit that female animals.
When you’re in your 60’s, you’ll only remember for a few minutes.
“Hey Laz, sorry to hear your girl left you last night.”
“Oh, that explains the dresses in my closet. I was getting worried there!”
Good for you for your recovery, and for being a friend to one who's still trying to get there. Having made it through to the other side, I'm sure it's hard watching her battle, especially when you know the rewards for winning. It could be that her having feelings for you remind her of the rough times, and she feels it's best for her to not go back there. Just a guess.
Anyway, many hugs and prayers for you. I've never had the battle, but many family members have, including my father.
lol...
Good advice. Over the years and through one long-term relationship and one marriage, I observed BOTH sides of the coin: sobriety and actively LUI; and it took me a long time to finally understand that I couldn't fix it no matter what I said or did. The LUI was nothing but trouble. Learned that the hard way. Years later, I married the "sober" one thinking it would be "safe". Later I realized I had made another mistake - he was a "dry drunk" - full of anger, needy and depressed. We had some good days, some good weeks, a few good years. But overall, it was very exhausting. After 13 years, I walked/ran. It was heartbreaking to leave that man - I really loved him. But my sanity, my health and my life finally took priority in the scheme of things. Please stay healthy and mindful of your own limits, Laz.
“She has a ton of qualities I want. Very attractive physically; great sense of humor; understands my sense of humor. Intelligent.”
-
We all like that kind of thing but the attributes that REALLY count are stability,empathy,honesty,and the ability to REALLY listen.
.
What’s a LUI?
VERY unstable.
Limited empathy, in a variety of self-oriented situations demanding my time/money.
Unsure honesty. Indicators are all over.
Unsure on ability to really listen:
I'd check for dehydration.
Less than 100.
:)
Living Under the Influence 24.7
Laz,
I thought about your post all day. I didn’t really know what to say. My tablet was out of batteries and my husband was home working from home on our computer, so I could not FReep. I just wanted to think about what to say.
You are a good man, you have chatted with me on many occasions when I’ve been down.
I don’t know if she deserves you. I know the Heart Wants What It Wants. But it kind of sounds like she’s using you.
Just know that there are hundreds if not thousands of people no you in cyberspace and want the best for you. Take care FRiend.
I will pray for you tonight.
I totally understand being in love with someone that is kind of mean to you. I think it’s happened to all of us.
I don’t know how old you are or if you want to get married and have children? But think about that as well. You’ve got a lot of friends here who love you and are praying for you.
End it for good and find a women doesn’t have a problem with alcohol or drugs. Have your family, friends, and people here on FR pray for you to meet the right lady. With that many people asking for help from heaven you’ll find her before you know it.
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