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Opinions on Early Marriage Please? My Son is Courting a Wonderful Young Woman.
09.09.16 | chickensoup

Posted on 09/09/2016 5:37:46 PM PDT by Chickensoup

My son 21 is courting a wonderful young woman20. She is educated, motivated, traveled, religious, warm, intelligent, thoughtful and attractive.

My son likes her very much. She likes him very much.

They both are hearing family and friends tell them not to marry so early. She will have a great job with a great future. My son will have a baseline investment income and can work full or part time as the family needs.

He is disorganized and would do well yoked. She seems to enjoy his eccentricities. I am encouraging early marriage. Would like to hear Freeper opinion on early marriage in today's marriage marketplace.


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KEYWORDS: marriage
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To: Chickensoup

leave them alone and stop trying to control an outcome that is none of your business...


121 posted on 09/09/2016 6:39:32 PM PDT by albertabound
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To: Chickensoup

I was 21, my wife was 18 when we married. We’ve been married 21 years this year. I would imagine marriage is hard at any age. There were some rough early years. I don’t know if we would have handled them any better if were older. We’ve moved all over the country because of my military career. What helped us going into our marriage was our faith in God, faithful church attendance, uncompromising belief that divorce is not an option. We also genuinely love each other, even when we are made. My wife was also unusually mature and neither of us were clubbers or party animals. It worked for us, it’s not easy. Everyone’s different. Marriage is such a life changing event. Hopefully they have the moral maturity and understanding to make it a good and happy marriage


122 posted on 09/09/2016 6:40:31 PM PDT by bethelgrad
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To: Chickensoup
My recommendation would be premarital counseling by a pastor who is determined to never see a couple he marries end up divorced.

I didn’t find my wife until I was close to 30, and when I did I quickly considered that not marrying her was not be an acceptable option. We were married six months after our first date, and got engaged in less than two months. Our marriage is heading into its late forties. YMMV

But I have always taken a hands off approach to the children’s marriages. They are the ones who are responsible - in the sense that they, not you or I, live with their decision, “for better or worse.” Do you actually want to be on the record, one way or the other, in tipping their decision??? Why?

I believe in having the children see the way their potential spouse interacts with us. If that tells them something, well and good. If it doesn’t, and you think should - well, it would be hard to change their minds in any event (a good counselor would clue them in that married people still have the same parents they did before, and consequently it matters how in-laws relate). Not that that seems to be an issue in your son’s case. Any more than it was in mine.

All the same, the current state of the culture makes “early” (how early actually is 21?) marriage countercultural - and probably prudent. Assuming things are in fact the way they seem to you.


123 posted on 09/09/2016 6:41:22 PM PDT by conservatism_IS_compassion ('Liberalism' is a conspiracy against the public by wire-service journalism.)
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To: reaganaut

Yeah.... dress it up how you want. Yoked was used because it precisely describes the condition he will find himself in. They don’t use that word to describe a big bull elk.


124 posted on 09/09/2016 6:41:24 PM PDT by DesertRhino (Dogs are man's best friend, and moslems hate dogs. Add that up....)
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To: Chickensoup

In today’s world and at that age, it will end with heartache and failure before they turn 26.
Save this thread, my words and get back to me in a few years.

My opinion will stand the test of time as their brains (especially the young lady) have not yet reached maturity.
Marriage at this point, at their age, in this time in world history with society being upside down - will fail.
I wish all the best though . . . their gonna need it !


125 posted on 09/09/2016 6:41:42 PM PDT by snooter55 (People may doubt what you say, but they will always believe what you do)
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To: Chickensoup

I was 17 and Mr.RR was 18. We finished high school together, and yes, I was pregnant. With help from family, we went on to college. 55 years later, we still love our life together. He got his PHd and I have my Masters. We have three beautiful and accomplished children and nine grandchildren.

It can be done with family love and support. Blessings and good luck.


126 posted on 09/09/2016 6:41:45 PM PDT by Rushmore Rocks (,)
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To: DesertRhino

Oxen are yoked, humans are not!
Not a term I like to hear when talking about “free born” Americans.


127 posted on 09/09/2016 6:42:03 PM PDT by Reily
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To: albertabound

I agree


128 posted on 09/09/2016 6:42:21 PM PDT by HollyB
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To: jimfr

In my experience, men are boys until they truly love a woman. But they don’t really become MEN until they have a child, and learn the responsibilities attendant upon loving that child and caring for its future.

-JT


129 posted on 09/09/2016 6:42:53 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, If you can keep it.")
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To: Reily

These women get mad. Hey...I was only yoking! lol


130 posted on 09/09/2016 6:43:24 PM PDT by DesertRhino (Dogs are man's best friend, and moslems hate dogs. Add that up....)
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To: DesertRhino

Christ used it as helping (read up on yoking in the Bible).

But you don’t care you just hate women


131 posted on 09/09/2016 6:44:23 PM PDT by reaganaut (I'm looking forward to Trump as President. I'm an Evangelical and I vote.)
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To: Chickensoup
21 and 20 is not young. Only a few decades ago that was a typical age to marry.
132 posted on 09/09/2016 6:44:41 PM PDT by wintertime (Stop treating government teachers like they are reincarnated Mother Teresas!)
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To: Reily

Ignore the bitter woman hater.


133 posted on 09/09/2016 6:45:00 PM PDT by reaganaut (I'm looking forward to Trump as President. I'm an Evangelical and I vote.)
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To: ctdonath2
He, it's the SON we are being asked about. Flip that around:

When he SHE is ready to completely support her HIM, then marry.

Logically, if she loves him she should do this. It's far lower risk for a woman to support a man in marriage than vice versa.

Should things go wrong the (probably female) Judge will tell HIM to "get a job".

If roles were reversed and he's paying the bills the same Judge will tell HIM to get ready to support her for some period between 20 years and life.

If she loves him she will understand this and agree to support him.

134 posted on 09/09/2016 6:47:25 PM PDT by Jack Black (Dispossession is an obliteration of memory, of place, and of identity)
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To: Chickensoup

If your son and his sweetheart understand that marriage is a contract between three parties -- the two of them and their Maker -- then age is irrelevant. May God's blessing and good fortune fall upon them. I wish them happiness.


135 posted on 09/09/2016 6:49:32 PM PDT by so_real ( "The Congress of the United States recommends and approves the Holy Bible for use in all schools.")
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To: wintertime

A lot has happened in a few decades. Like our divorce rate. First if a parent is asking this question about their child, the child has not grown up.

A parent should not interfere in a grown mans live life.


136 posted on 09/09/2016 6:49:40 PM PDT by HollyB
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To: Chickensoup

Can she cook? And, can he make a sandwich? Just asking.


137 posted on 09/09/2016 6:49:43 PM PDT by Parmy (II don't know how to past the images.)
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To: Insigne123

Young people today are not as mature, do not have common sense, are not as educated as the greatest generation was at that age, and young people today are selfish & self absorbed. If they are looking for that other person to make them happy, they will be doomed to failure. I was against my son’s marriage at 21, she was 19. They did it anyway and are now both married to different people. She wanted kids, he did not. First marriage for young people these days are practice marriages.


138 posted on 09/09/2016 6:52:27 PM PDT by Lopeover (2016 Election is about allegiance to the United States!)
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To: reaganaut

Not a woman hater. A legal contract and attorney hater. I enjoy women.


139 posted on 09/09/2016 6:52:49 PM PDT by DesertRhino (Dogs are man's best friend, and moslems hate dogs. Add that up....)
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To: Parmy

Can he cook? If they are a couple, there Will be times she needs to be tended too. There will be times he has to cook for the kids.


140 posted on 09/09/2016 6:54:05 PM PDT by HollyB
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