Posted on 09/09/2016 5:37:46 PM PDT by Chickensoup
My son 21 is courting a wonderful young woman20. She is educated, motivated, traveled, religious, warm, intelligent, thoughtful and attractive.
My son likes her very much. She likes him very much.
They both are hearing family and friends tell them not to marry so early. She will have a great job with a great future. My son will have a baseline investment income and can work full or part time as the family needs.
He is disorganized and would do well yoked. She seems to enjoy his eccentricities. I am encouraging early marriage. Would like to hear Freeper opinion on early marriage in today's marriage marketplace.
leave them alone and stop trying to control an outcome that is none of your business...
I was 21, my wife was 18 when we married. We’ve been married 21 years this year. I would imagine marriage is hard at any age. There were some rough early years. I don’t know if we would have handled them any better if were older. We’ve moved all over the country because of my military career. What helped us going into our marriage was our faith in God, faithful church attendance, uncompromising belief that divorce is not an option. We also genuinely love each other, even when we are made. My wife was also unusually mature and neither of us were clubbers or party animals. It worked for us, it’s not easy. Everyone’s different. Marriage is such a life changing event. Hopefully they have the moral maturity and understanding to make it a good and happy marriage
My recommendation would be premarital counseling by a pastor who is determined to never see a couple he marries end up divorced.I didn’t find my wife until I was close to 30, and when I did I quickly considered that not marrying her was not be an acceptable option. We were married six months after our first date, and got engaged in less than two months. Our marriage is heading into its late forties. YMMV
But I have always taken a hands off approach to the children’s marriages. They are the ones who are responsible - in the sense that they, not you or I, live with their decision, “for better or worse.” Do you actually want to be on the record, one way or the other, in tipping their decision??? Why?
I believe in having the children see the way their potential spouse interacts with us. If that tells them something, well and good. If it doesn’t, and you think should - well, it would be hard to change their minds in any event (a good counselor would clue them in that married people still have the same parents they did before, and consequently it matters how in-laws relate). Not that that seems to be an issue in your son’s case. Any more than it was in mine.
All the same, the current state of the culture makes “early” (how early actually is 21?) marriage countercultural - and probably prudent. Assuming things are in fact the way they seem to you.
Yeah.... dress it up how you want. Yoked was used because it precisely describes the condition he will find himself in. They don’t use that word to describe a big bull elk.
In today’s world and at that age, it will end with heartache and failure before they turn 26.
Save this thread, my words and get back to me in a few years.
My opinion will stand the test of time as their brains (especially the young lady) have not yet reached maturity.
Marriage at this point, at their age, in this time in world history with society being upside down - will fail.
I wish all the best though . . . their gonna need it !
I was 17 and Mr.RR was 18. We finished high school together, and yes, I was pregnant. With help from family, we went on to college. 55 years later, we still love our life together. He got his PHd and I have my Masters. We have three beautiful and accomplished children and nine grandchildren.
It can be done with family love and support. Blessings and good luck.
Oxen are yoked, humans are not!
Not a term I like to hear when talking about “free born” Americans.
I agree
In my experience, men are boys until they truly love a woman. But they don’t really become MEN until they have a child, and learn the responsibilities attendant upon loving that child and caring for its future.
-JT
These women get mad. Hey...I was only yoking! lol
Christ used it as helping (read up on yoking in the Bible).
But you don’t care you just hate women
Ignore the bitter woman hater.
When he SHE is ready to completely support her HIM, then marry.
Logically, if she loves him she should do this. It's far lower risk for a woman to support a man in marriage than vice versa.
Should things go wrong the (probably female) Judge will tell HIM to "get a job".
If roles were reversed and he's paying the bills the same Judge will tell HIM to get ready to support her for some period between 20 years and life.
If she loves him she will understand this and agree to support him.
A lot has happened in a few decades. Like our divorce rate. First if a parent is asking this question about their child, the child has not grown up.
A parent should not interfere in a grown mans live life.
Can she cook? And, can he make a sandwich? Just asking.
Young people today are not as mature, do not have common sense, are not as educated as the greatest generation was at that age, and young people today are selfish & self absorbed. If they are looking for that other person to make them happy, they will be doomed to failure. I was against my son’s marriage at 21, she was 19. They did it anyway and are now both married to different people. She wanted kids, he did not. First marriage for young people these days are practice marriages.
Not a woman hater. A legal contract and attorney hater. I enjoy women.
Can he cook? If they are a couple, there Will be times she needs to be tended too. There will be times he has to cook for the kids.
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