Posted on 09/09/2016 5:37:46 PM PDT by Chickensoup
My son 21 is courting a wonderful young woman20. She is educated, motivated, traveled, religious, warm, intelligent, thoughtful and attractive.
My son likes her very much. She likes him very much.
They both are hearing family and friends tell them not to marry so early. She will have a great job with a great future. My son will have a baseline investment income and can work full or part time as the family needs.
He is disorganized and would do well yoked. She seems to enjoy his eccentricities. I am encouraging early marriage. Would like to hear Freeper opinion on early marriage in today's marriage marketplace.
Agreed, he should have a prenup. My husband signed one at my grandfather’s insistence.
I didn’t read all the comments so if this has been posted already, please pardon .....
The Surprising Benefits of Marrying Young
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2015/07/06/the-surprising-benefits-of-marrying-young/
This thread is proof of why not to ask for advice in an online forum.
Sheesh.
From my three wives experience, I’ve sadly realized that you shouldn’t marry until you fully understand who you are, deep down inside?
He’s only 21. I’ve seen a huge maturity in my son from 18 to 19 y/o. Once he moved to his own apt to go to school, reality whipped him into place. All those things he depended on me for, he’s now doing on his own. At 19 I see a great future ahead of him. I think moving out and living on your own is important before marrying. Otherwise, it goes from Mom to wife. Manhood develops in between.
And if he told me he was going to get married at 21, I’d croak. Divorce with young children is a reality. So, he needs to know his potential life partner, her family trends, her friends very well. Give it 2-3 years and not before 25. Also, one big problem is over interference from family. A couple is now an independent family unit. Their independence is a marker of maturity.
Lock her down before she has a chance to ride the carousel.
I was 21, my wife was 20. We met in September, married in November and 10 days later I went on my first tour to Viet Nam. Next year we will celebrate our 50th anniversary with a cruise to Alaska. Three children and four grandchildren later we seem to be doing okay.
Bitter much?
We did a similar one with our pastor.
Yeah, my parents married at 18 and 21, too. Back in the 30s. By 21 she had #1 of 4 kiddos. Marriage lasted 63 years till he passed away.
I married at age 36, almost 36 years ago, 3+ months after we met. Still married.
Son at age 25 married a gal he’d courted 3 years, 2 of which they were engaged. Waited to marry till she finished college. They’d known each other since who knows when. Did everything “right.” Three months later, he found her in bed with another man.
There is no foreseeing where a relationship will go. In today’s world, it’d be better to give the relationship some time to flourish (or not). The disorganization she finds so charming today may not be so in a year’s time. Then again, maybe it will. Ya just never know.
She already said she’s “traveled”. And a funny concept, he “locks her down”. Lol yeah....go with that.
How do you propose they hold off on kids?
I was lookin' for that, and there it was in Post 50.
In most cases what you get from it is in proportion to what you put in.
That's right. It's all about "me" ... like the song says, "It's me, it's me, it's me O Lord ..."
I disagree. When my husband and I married, he was ‘disorganized’ and not a self starter. That changed as he saw the need to be more responsible. I was always aggressive in the workplace and I never cheated. I loved that my husband was the one who kept me from burning out.
Plexiglass
He is referencing the Bible. smh
That last portion of your post is more concerning than their ages. If she is looking at fixing his disorganization, she will tire of the project in a few years. They need to make sure personality differences are something she actually likes or something she is going to want to change.
I second the ‘1 year’ idea. When young people are sharp and really know themselves for their ages, I think young marriage is a very good idea. But they do need to go through some time together, with marriage in mind; some time to experience a few difficulties, and to see if everything ‘sticks’ through the difficulty.
Best wishes to them!
-JT
Barrier? Like, down the middle of the bed?
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