Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Whoa. Those are almost the same color!
I like that little orangu’Face. ;o])
Awwww... pensive floofy.
I changed clothes when I got home yesterday and was surprised when I put on a pair of denim pedal pushers (ha-ha! I love that phrase!) and realized that I couldn’t put my keys in the waistband because I had lost so much weight since last summer.
And the T-shirt was almost as bad. REALLY big! LOL! I was even able to get into a pair that I got on sale and put away before I could wear them, though I did try them on... they got as far as my knees. It was the first pair I wore this season, and they were baggy.
Hooray for weight loss! Yipee!
So. I’ve lost 44 pounds, and need to lose another 16 to reach my goal. That seems so much more attainable now than it did a year ago. :o]
There's a use of 'proud' I haven't seen in a while.
Well played!
I lost 40, Memorial day weekend at moms put back 5, I need to loose another 40 to get down to merely obese.
Good job! If I walked more often it would be a little easier. I’m going to try to walk a half mile three times a week. Any farther and/or more often makes me sick for a week, so I need to do just a little to keep my stamina from overload. I hate when that happens!
How is yer Mum, anyway?
Congratulations on your reduction in size!
And congratulations on your loss, too.
I went out to pull some weeds from the garden after the gym trip, because I was already sweaty. Kathleen came out and started playing in the wheelbarrow full of rainwater. Everything was going fine ... several dinosaurs, a few lizards, and a couple of Little Ponies having a pool party ... but then, after I came in to take a shower, Kathleen decided she wanted to swim, too.
So she took her clothes off and got in the wheelbarrow, but she got stuck.
Now she’s been rescued, dried, and re-dressed in clean clothes, and I emptied the water from the wheelbarrow.
The 5-gallon bucket is worst because of its tall, straight sides. That, combined with the stability of these buckets, makes it nearly impossible for top-heavy infants and toddlers to tip the bucket over or free themselves when they fall into it headfirst.
Horrible thought.
How old is Kathleen, again?
Aftanoon all.
Congratulations to everyone on the weight loss. Please stop sending the lost weight east.
T-C, I would have left the water in the wheelbarrow. Important life lessons were being learnt. And there’s no way Zika carriers can breed when kids are learning life lessons.
What an adventuress Kathleen is! LOL!
I got a wild hair and walked up to the community room about 0530 and the door was open, so I came back and got my laundry. Sheets and towels this morning, and I was done by 0710! YAY! I’m trying to talk the folks into letting me open on Mondays and Tuesdays... ;o]
Dang. I was thinking of going to Wally’s early tomorrow, before I have to head for Vegas, as I’m in dire need of yogurt and bananas. The bananas don’t cost much, but the yogurt, rice pudding, and a few other things will, and I have one bill left to pay. Nothing for me, please...I gotta wait. I have to pay for the morphine.
I was trying to find an insulated cover for my water bottles, as since the weather is hot and dry, I usually take two bottles with me to the ramada. The ones I liked were all around $20. What???? So I don’t know. I will look online.
Kathleen is 4. She’s far too big to get stuck on her face in the wheelbarrow.
LOL! I send my unwanted pounds to the gal next door who thinks I know everything... She’s beginning to resemble a pumpkin with legs. ;o]
I was going to have the boys go around and empty standing water, in aid of mosquito reduction, but it’s just going to rain again later today.
For someone your size, I’m always amazed at the sizes of your offspring! Lawdy!
What’s the latest on Tom’s Caterpillar Quest?
Have them harvest the mosquito larvae, first.
I can think of a certain campaign headquarters that can use some.
He decided he would rather take the general diesel mechanic course, because that will give him more options regarding future employment. I’d have preferred the guaranteed job with Caterpillar, but it’s his life.
Woah!!!
When did Vin Diesel make General?
And why does he need a mechanic?
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