Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Thanks for the update on the girls! I hope they have a lot of fun while they are there.
Howya! I’ve exchanged emails with Mom this morning. They got to her apartment about 9:00 p.m. and will hang around The Villages today. Tomorrow they’ll do one of the Universal parks; the weather forecast looks okay for it.
Excellent Squee this morning! LOL!
Me want dat Floof!
I’d like to hug a kitten, too.
That sounds like a fun visit for all of them.
I just wrote down all my Favorites so I won’t have to kill myself trying to remember them all. I just HATE having to do this again. It’s the fourth time in less than a year and the third time in four months. Unngghh!
The laundry is waiting to be sorted, and while I’m out running around this morning, I have to stop at Rebel and get some quarters. I think I have enough for the wash today, as it’s clothes and I don’t dry them, but I need the quarter before I was next week because that is when I do the sheets and towels.
Our recent storm and flooding made the national news yesterday, but what the weather prognosticators Down East don’t know is that it’s common for us. But no one equates a desert with flooding...or drought.
Maybe tomorrow I can go and get my hair cut again. Maybe. I hope they don’t charge me for it.
It might rain again here today. Cub Scouts will be stuck indoors. We can play Reptile Bingo.
Go for lunch at Waffle House with grandma?
I wish they had them in NJ.
My grandma took my sister and I to Friendly’s when mom and dad went on a second honeymoon. Ice cream cones! She also got a pizza one night for dinner!
OldTax-lady does NOT go to Waffle House.
I like today’s kitties. Thank you TC.
Happy May Day Little kittehs.
You’re welcome. I enjoy looking for the cutest kittehs to share.
I told you that using a time machine would be endlessly confusing, but would you listen to me? No.
Next week’s wash done last week! What could be better?
Stupid computer doesn’t know how to spell or proof read. GAH!!!
And I read over that post a minimum of four times, making corrections, before I posted!
Unnggh!
:o[
Have you any idea what kind of appetite for fish a plesiosaur has?
GAH!!!
No wonder I’m always frustrated. Even the machines are out to get me!
I make a pretty good proofreader, except for the things I write.
I remember that from the early days of the flying castle, when we stopped at Loch Ness and picked up a...different... kind of cargo.
That’s me. I can find mistakes in other peoples’ documents but not my own. :o[
Well, I talked to my niece and she said there were no more “Team Lasko” T-shirts, but that Danny Lasko’s jersey will be available soon, so I will look for it and wear it proudly.
In case others haven’t heard, he was picked in the 7th round of NFL Draft by the NO Saints. Jersey #23.
I’m looking forward to cheering for him. He has quite the football history!
It’s all messaging. Obama is telling terrorists that Democrats will look the other way. He tells Illegal Aliens that Democrats will give them free stuff for votes. He tells blacks the same thing. It is all constant messaging.
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