Posted on 08/22/2015 7:43:13 PM PDT by PROCON
I am sorry. To all you moms out there who can’t go out to eat because your kid screams and ruins your dinner, I am so sorry. Until now, I’ve been incredibly spoiled and I may have even thought it was your fault that your kid was screaming during dinner. (I may have judged you a little.) My first two children–girls–were what we called white-tablecloth babies. We could take them to the best upscale restaurant on the Magnificent Mile and they wouldn’t make a peep. They would eat their dinner and play with a toy and everyone would smile at them and compliment me. I thought I was soooooo good at this mothering thing. What a fool I was.
My darling son just turned one. This is the one who already got me yelled at on a plane (another first). He has one volume: LOUD. He screams if his food isn’t in front of him quickly enough, when he runs out of zucchini and hot dogs, when he’s thirsty, tired, angry, happy, sticky, uncomfortable, bored, or just having fun. He has one mode of communication: screaming. This is not a discipline issue. He can’t be “disciplined” yet. He’s a baby. (The first person to say “spank him” in the comments section loses. You don’t spank a baby.) You can’t even really speak harshly to a baby. It makes the screaming worse! The only thing you can do is hurry up and leave the restaurant, change his scenery, play peek-a-boo, give him your keys, your necklace, the ten different toys in the baby bag, your wallet, your dignity and pray it stops. My God, it’s horrible!
Don’t get me wrong. I adore this kid, but I’ve never heard so much screaming this side of Hell. I’m sure it will lessen when he can talk and communicate with us, but as it is, we are drowning in shrieking over here. I hesitate to say, “I can’t wait for this stage to be over” because the next one that comes is the whining stage and that one’s no picnic either. What the heck happened to my quiet baby who nursed half the day and slept the rest of the time? Why do I feel like I’ve never done this before and most importantly, will I ever eat out with my family again?
Not only does he scream, but he misses his mouth most of the time (see “Why My Kitchen Floor is Always Disgusting“) and the whole floor around him is peppered with bits of half-chewed food. It’s so embarrassing. Mr. Fox and I had an emergency meeting about the dining-out behavior tonight. We are about to go out of town for two days and we’ve decided we should bring food and just eat in our room. It’s that bad. And I’m a veteran mother! This is number three! If I am not doing well, how much worse is it for you first timers? I’m so sorry! I feel you, sister!
So here’s my best advice if you’re facing a similar problem:
1.It’s not your fault.
2.Vodka is your friend.
3.If you must go out to eat, go to the next town to the loudest place you can find (where no one knows you) and leave a big tip.
4.Leave him with a babysitter until he’s 10.
Above all, the days are long, but the years are short, so it will end sooner than you think it will. Until then, you’ll find me slinking out of public places with a shrieking baby, trying not to be recognized.
My now grown kids were perfect kids, just perfect, no problems at all.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
He’s probably screaming because he doesn’t like the freakin’ zucchini!
2. Be prepared to leave a restaurant as soon as your child starts acting up (own the problem and fix it).
3. Choose restaurants like Chuck E. Cheese where everyone behaves badly (make appropriate choices).
Too cutesy by a half....
...not impressed with her attitude
We’ve all had children....and no, you don’t let them scream away in a restaurant, etc
You say NO firmly and take them out
If she’s not going to address this now, what’s the kid going to be like later
Uh, it is your fault if you have a kid like that and take it out until the issue resolves.
THAT Megan Fox? Not Guilty.
If they are too noisy when you take them out to dinner, please don’t do it.
We had a quiet one and a noisy one. We always respected our fellow diners.
Please do the same. The rest of the diners expect and deserve a nice night out. Of course, the restaurant will appreciate your cooperation. Loud children hurt their business.
Truere words were never spoken. Our three are now in their mid to late 20s. Memories of them as kids are fading and at times I look around the house and ask myself "Did we REALLY raise our family here?" It can seem like a dream that never happened. I'd give anything to relive all those great times.
Baby’s crying has never bothered me unless they are in my ear. I have noticed that it really upsets control freaks.
If a child crying in church upsets you, you are in church for the wrong reason.
I knew my youngest was good - for 55 minutes. Any longer and she would act up. We learned to live with the limitation and all was well. The only times it didn’t work out so well was when the restaurant was packed and service was slow.
SHE is NOT at fault.....
The screams of the baby being aborted are the ones we should be concerned about
You and me both FRiend, but memories and photographs are great too.
Yes, THAT Megan Fox!
If they were in church, or a restaurant, or similar type setting, my buddy's wife would step out, USUALLY before a disturbance was made. As not to disrupt OTHERS.
As the children grew older, if they got a little too antsy or loud, a lean forward, with a look, got their attention.
Went to a pizza place with the family once.
The waitress started bringing other waitresses by to check out the well behaved family.
The manager came by and remarked about how well the kids were...
And bought dessert for everybody.
Back at home...there is the pitter patter (or stomp stomp stomp) of little (and not so little) feet. There are SHREAKS of delight as a younger one is chased or chases an older one.
They know that their "Uncle Dave" will rough house with them anytime. But the moment we are in public, they are the best behaved kids.
Or arugula.
If you have to go out to at with a screaming baby... go to chucky cheese. Don’t subject the rest of the world to your screamer.....
Unfortunately my wife reinforces our baby screaming. The baby screams and Mommy gives her what she wants.
Now mean daddy when she starts screaming I remove her from the area and just stand with her. I get lots of looks and people checking out the screaming baby, but I don’t worry about it. However, when I am alone with the baby, she doesn’t scream as she realizes mean daddy will just let her scream.
Scary!
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