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I Will Always Remember Where I Was When Cecil The Lion Was Killed (Satire)
Duffleblog ^ | 8/3/2015 | Mohammed

Posted on 08/03/2015 11:15:33 AM PDT by Gamecock

The following is an op-ed written by “Mohammed,” a Syrian War Refugee.

I am sorry it is taking me so long to post my outrage over Cecil the Lion. My village has been without electricity for the last week after the Americans bombed our power plant. I had to walk for two days — hiding from ISIS along the way — before I found this Internet cafe. But my anger over the death of Cecil is still hot as the desert sands.

I remember exactly what I was doing when I heard what had happened.

It started off as a normal day for my town, with the Syrian Air Force dropping barrel bombs on several neighborhoods and a local school. As I dug the bodies of several women out of the rubble, one of the other rescue workers asked if I’d heard that Cecil the Lion was killed.

I froze in shock, dropping part of what I assume was once a human arm on the ground. “Not Cecil the Lion!” I exclaimed. “Not him! Truly, is there no innocence left in this world?” I cried harder than when we discovered my brother was gay and ISIS forced us to throw him off a building.

The rest of the day was a numb blur: watching my neighbor getting beheaded by Sharia enforcers, foraging for food in bombed-out buildings, burying my daughter after she died of cholera, and registering my outrage that rich Americans can fly anywhere in the world and kill whatever they want.

My entire family — the ones not gassed to death — are also in shock. My sister was beside herself with tears from the acid that was flung in her face, but I am sure her tears were meant for poor, majestic Cecil.

It is times like this I thank Allah that my wife was kidnapped into sexual slavery last year and was spared the horror of learning what happened to this beautiful and majestic creature.

I often wonder what is wrong with America. You do not hear stories like this in Syria, partly because we already killed all our lions but also because we killed all our dentists.

The hardest part was explaining to my eldest son why Cecil was killed. He asked if Cecil was a Kurd or a Christian, and I said no, sometimes people and animals are killed for totally unjustifiable reasons.

I must go now. The Shabiha have surrounded the building to either press gang us into the Army or execute us. No matter. If we die, we die knowing that the infidel dentist has been appropriately punished on Facebook.

Hopefully I will see Cecil in the afterlife, along with my grandparents who were murdered at the massacre in Hama.

Hail Cecil!


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: cecilthelion
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To: cld51860

Please keep us posted!


21 posted on 08/03/2015 12:11:43 PM PDT by Gamecock (Many Atheists: "There is no God and I hate Him!")
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To: SamAdams76

#stripedlivesmatter


22 posted on 08/03/2015 12:13:29 PM PDT by Gamecock (Many Atheists: "There is no God and I hate Him!")
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23 posted on 08/03/2015 12:14:38 PM PDT by Gamecock (Many Atheists: "There is no God and I hate Him!")
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To: Gamecock

I’m trying to imagine how this would have been reported and commented upon if the dentist had been black.


24 posted on 08/03/2015 12:14:38 PM PDT by Misterioso (Islam is un-American and a plague on civilization.)
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To: Gamecock


25 posted on 08/03/2015 12:15:35 PM PDT by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: Gamecock
Yes it does. I understand why FR has the position they have - because others do it rather poorly.

Many years ago, I posted a satire piece here about Microsoft relocating to Vancouver, due to all the taxes they had in Seattle. I got a lot of people going on that one because it was so believable. That's the fun of good satire - seeing how many people initially fall for it.

On the other hand, bad satire just looks clumsy and foolish. There's a fine line between the two.

26 posted on 08/03/2015 12:17:07 PM PDT by SamAdams76
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To: SamAdams76

Initially? Isn’t that a bit redundant?


27 posted on 08/03/2015 12:20:59 PM PDT by Misterioso (Islam is un-American and a plague on civilization.)
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To: Gamecock

Someone asked me about the lion.

I told them a gust of wind blew up some dust on Mars and that incident had about the same affect on my life as the Cecil incident.


28 posted on 08/03/2015 12:22:42 PM PDT by envisio (I ain't here long... I'm out of napalm and .22 bullets.)
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To: SamAdams76
Haven't seen this yet: TRAILER - The Lion King: The Retribution of Cecil

As the world cheers on the public execution of another victim of the social media mob mentality.

29 posted on 08/03/2015 12:25:46 PM PDT by Gamecock (Many Atheists: "There is no God and I hate Him!")
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To: I cannot think of a name

I heard there was a magic bullet laying on the gurney. So, how many shots were really fired? It’s a conspiracy, I tell you!


30 posted on 08/03/2015 1:00:07 PM PDT by TexasRepublic (Socialism is the gospel of envy and the religion of thieves)
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To: Gamecock

Not funny.
The cruel sob who shot that innocent animal ought to be strung up.


31 posted on 08/03/2015 1:37:11 PM PDT by patriot08 (NATIVE TEXAN (girl type))
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To: patriot08

I have little tolerance for the lib politicians and leftists howling for the dentist’s head while ignoring what’s going on at PP.

I am against trophy hunting, but given the fact that babies are being sold off piecemeal my gave a cr@* meter just doesn’t won’t register on this right now.


32 posted on 08/03/2015 1:53:06 PM PDT by Gamecock (Many Atheists: "There is no God and I hate Him!")
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To: McGruff

Looks like Cecil’s son.


33 posted on 08/03/2015 2:11:03 PM PDT by aquila48
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To: Gamecock

This and hijacking every lion thread to talk about aborted babies is getting tiresome.
Of course aborting babies - and especially selling their body parts, is horrid and wrong.

I’ve joined others and spent many an hour picketing our local abortion clinics- and now thankfully we haven’t a single one left in our city.

But luring this beloved Lion off the refuge , shooting him with a bow and arrow then a gun and cutting his head off for a trophy is also horrid- and the sorry sob that did it ought to be strung up.

I’m sorry, but I love animals. Let the flaming begin.


34 posted on 08/03/2015 2:32:31 PM PDT by patriot08 (NATIVE TEXAN (girl type))
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To: patriot08

**This and hijacking every lion thread to talk about aborted babies is getting tiresome.**

Well, you have the power to just click on and read these threads, don’t you?


35 posted on 08/03/2015 2:38:05 PM PDT by Gamecock (Many Atheists: "There is no God and I hate Him!")
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To: patriot08
The cruel sob who shot that innocent animal ought to be strung up.

This is EXACTLY what all the loony leftists are saying.

36 posted on 08/03/2015 2:40:41 PM PDT by Auntie Mame (Fear not tomorrow. God is already there.)
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To: patriot08; lulu16
Well I guess you are not happy with this article:

Indeed, the country benefits a lot from its wildlife as operators pay tax and a fraction of hunting fees is ploughed back into game conservation.

If the killing of Cecil, which happened outside the Park’s boundaries, is found to be illegal, let the chips fall where they may. But I find the western outrage over the demise of Cecil, which is only a lion to many of us, suspicious. This was a simple hunt and Zimbabwe wants more of them to generate revenue for our tourism sector.

It is not an overstatement that almost 99,99 percent of Zimbabweans didn’t know about this animal until Monday. Now we have just learnt, thanks to the British media, that we had Africa’s most famous lion all along, an icon!Source


37 posted on 08/03/2015 3:57:07 PM PDT by Gamecock (Many Atheists: "There is no God and I hate Him!")
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To: Gamecock

Quote ALL of my reply in post #34


38 posted on 08/03/2015 4:52:32 PM PDT by patriot08 (NATIVE TEXAN (girl type))
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To: Gamecock

Read ALL of my post #34. That’s most unfair.


39 posted on 08/03/2015 4:55:16 PM PDT by patriot08 (NATIVE TEXAN (girl type))
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To: Gamecock

That’s not fair. Read all of post 34


40 posted on 08/03/2015 4:57:18 PM PDT by patriot08 (NATIVE TEXAN (girl type))
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