Posted on 03/12/2015 7:37:26 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
I saw this headline at Newsalert from a CNS News article and went over to read it:
(CNSNews.com) – Seventy percent of American males between the ages of 20 and 34 are not married, and many live in a state of “perpetual adolescence” with ominous consequences for the nation’s future, says Janice Shaw Crouse, author of “Marriage Matters.”
“Far too many young men have failed to make a normal progression into adult roles of responsibility and self-sufficiency, roles generally associated with marriage and fatherhood,” Crouse, the former executive director of the Beverly LaHaye Institute, wrote in a recent Washington Times oped.
The high percentage of bachelors means bleak prospects for millions of young women who dream about a wedding day that may never come. “It’s very, very depressing,” Crouse told CNSNews.com.
It seems that Crouse and her crowd are watching too many Say Yes to the Dress episodes. So what matters is that women’s dreams are shattered? What about the bleak prospects for millions of men across the country who get very little legal or psychological protection from marriage? Now that’s what’s very, very depressing. Change that and maybe more men will be interested.
My wife doesn’t grouse. She’s on an entirely different dimension when it comes to that...lol.
This is where Facebook is informational. I have a lot of peers who spent their 20’s being the cool party people. At 30, the guys tend to be able to find someone to settle down, but the party girls have trouble.
Now, in our mid-30’s, you can tell the party girls are getting desperate as they continue to only find party guys and can’t find true love. Their looks are fading and nice guys aren’t interested in their past. Some are saying they accept being without men, grudgingly replacing men with hiking, or yoga, or careers. Others are now turning to other females for companionship.
It’s interesting, to say the least.
Buddy of mine in New Jersey just got finished getting a divorce after 12 years of marriage: He has alimony payments of $18,000 a year for 10 years. She even has a professional job herself making great money. It amounts to 30% of the difference between their incomes.
Courts are brutal to divorcees.
Young people of both sexes have been sold a bill of goods by our sick culture.
When I was a boy my wise and godly mother used to tell me she was praying for my future wife. Part of her prayer was that I would find a godly woman and I would find her while I was still young.
Mom had no way to know that the gangly twelve-year-old strawberry blond, who had just been baptized in our church, would grow into a stunningly beautiful young-Marilyn lookalike and high school homecoming queen. By the time I was 17, I knew exactly who I wanted to marry, but so did half of our high school. When that gorgeous girl followed me to college, I knew I was the winner!
I was 23 and she was 22 when we finally married. The best thing about my wife is that her Christian heart and character exceed her still stunning outside wrapper. She has a master’s degree and enjoyed success in a professional career but walked away from it when God blessed us with our first child. What she really wanted was to be a wife and mother. By the time we were thirty we were parents, owned our third home (a nice step up each time) and owned a business. We’ve been together 29 years now and I am so thankful for her. Had it not been for her I might have remained an adolescent myself, but we weathered youthful storms and matured together. I am so thankful God gave me that godly woman Mother prayed for. Now she’s the wise and godly woman praying for our daughters’ future husbands.
It can work both ways. Many women get abandoned due to no-fault when their higher-earning husband wants a younger model and tries to just dump the first wife and take the kids to live with Barbie Secretary and the big new house with the pool, while the ex is cutting coupons to survive and desperate to try to continue being the primary caregiver to her children as she has been all the times he has been out of the house 12 hours a day on his high-flying career. He can afford the attorney firepower, she can't; and judges don't always award attorney fees to the separated homemaker, especially if the husband is a big professional man in the same circles of education and earning as the judge.
Who wins in no-fault? After the lawyers, it is either the higher-earning spouse or the spouse who is, and has always been, less-invested in the marriage.
The fact that more women initiate divorce than men indicates little. It could be because they perceive the need to take action in order to remove the children from drinking, unfaithfulness or porn in the household just as much as it could be for selfish reasons.
I have known people of both sexes who have been destroyed or raked over by no-fault. Every case is individual. But as a general observation, one of the things I have noticed about an "unequally yoked" couple is that when one has the traditional expectations of marital fidelity and the other does not, nothing can possibly turn out well; yet the cheater with no marital morals to begin with has the nerve to feel outraged that the faithful partner won't just let him or her continue the cheating and also stay married. So the perceptions and self-reports of individuals remain suspect unless one really knows what has gone on behind closed doors, and few of us ever do, much less a judge who has a case before him or her for a few minutes.
That is why both parties need to value marriage much more highly, think and learn about it, and choose their partners based on values beyond sexual attraction. Few do, these days.
It’s much cheaper to stay single, and just pay someone to come by and kick you in the b@lls every few days.
Why buy the bull if she can get the sperm for free? Or a couple bucks will get the batteries.
That's why I'm asking. It doesn't seem to add up to me one way or the other, except that some states do compel a spouse to pay part of a child's college education, and these days some kids don't finish right away, or right after high school.
I keep hearing about “being taken care of when you’re old”. Is that really the best argument? A man must endure savage decades of modern American wifery, a divorce risk FAR exceeding the casualty rate on Omaha beach, to maybe get some sort of nursing service eventually?
Please tell me there is more.
Wow, that is amazing. How many kids? And again, is that alimony, or is it child support? Two different things.
My late brother-in-law paid alimony to his first wife for 40 years,until his death. (I don’t know the amount).
If she had remarried it would have ended....but she never did.
.
“Here’s another theory - men have had it. Why put yourself in a situation you can’t win?”
Most men that age haven’t experienced it either. They have watched fathers raped in divorces, and heard the stories of older coworkers. But mist terrifying of all to these younger men, is talking to guys in their 40 who are still married, and are simply enduring a slow motion hell. They see those men who are dead inside, trapped with women who couldn’t care less if he is happy, and they avoid that end like the plague. And they should,,,, until American women start beginning to care about the man’s happiness.
dittos!!!
BTW 50% of today’s law school graduates are female so the legal system will become more feminized and abusive to men’s marriage and divorce rights
Serious as a heart attack.
Sounds like you have had a hard time lately. In time, I hope God gives you more perspective about the entire field of divorce than merely your own experience. It is not as black and white as you want to make it.
That said, I do agree that the culture and political system is making everything regarding a lasting traditional marriage harder all the time, by marxist design.
“I have the perfect theme song for these men when they reach their senior years... “
Again,, endure the hell American wives have planned for you, for several decades, so he wont be alone as a senior? I don’t know how to break this to you, but ever visited a senior center in Boca Raton lately? The ratios are a freakin’ landslide in the males favor.
Well there is a big difference between the married men at church (who are clean, well fed, and running things), vs the unmarried forty-year-olds.
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