IBTP
The year is 2016 and the United States has elected the first woman President, Susan Goldfarb.
She phones her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so, honey. It's a ten hour drive, your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again."
"Don't worry about it Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door."
"I don't know, dear. Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy. What on earth would I wear?"
Susan replies, "I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown custom-made by the best designer in New York."
"Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York, kosher all the way. Mom, I really want you to come."
So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017, Susan Goldfarb is being sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row sits the new President's mother, who leans over to a senator sitting next to her and says, "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Torah, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispers back, "Yes I do."
Mom says proudly, "Her brother is a doctor."
h/t to CCinOC
I've torn out my alarm system and and I no longer lock my doors. I've unregistered from the Neighborhood Watch. Why?
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center. As a result, the local police, the FBI, the CIA, the DHS, and other intelligence services are all watching my house 24/7. I've never felt safer.
Also: Be sure to add an “I have EBOLA” sticker on your front window…….no more solicitors!
In California, the sticker should appear in over 100 languages to match CA DMV publications).
h/t to Bill
IBTP
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