Skip to comments.***THE OFFICIAL WEDNESDAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 11/26/2014 5:22:07 AM PST by Lucky9teen
click here to read article
A tough week for me. I need some silly (and I am not concerned about the Ferguson stuff and don’t care to see a full thread of them).
Will be checking in later.
Thanks for posting today!
I am truly thankful that I am not a liberal.
Top 10, yeah!!!
Love it...top ten — maybe
This thread is a real turkey.
Are we gonna have a food thread this year? I wanna know what everyone’s having. On a diet and can only read about food.
Me too neither...had hernia surgery Monday, so probably shouldn't be on this thread, just in case I get the giggles...sneezing is bad enuff.
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. "Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one." "Okay," says the butcher. "Let me see what I have left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. "That's one is too skinny. What else you got?" says the man. The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man. "Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!"
The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
<><> Mrs Gruber bought a fancy nightgown to celebrate their wedding anniversary. When she put it on, Gruber griped about the "lack of transparency."
<><> Mrs Gruber confided to her BFF that to get Jonathan in a romantic mood, she coos in his ear. When she whispers "stupid Americans," Jonathan gets so aroused, he delivers wild, uninhibited sex.
<><> Spicing up your sex life by cooing "Stupid Americans" is the number one sex aid in Progressive circles---b/c Progressives cant get aroused unless they "feel good" about themselves.
<><> Progressive sex aids are doing wonders---so much so that Viagra sales are (cough) down---since Progressives are the (cough) biggest users of Viagra.
<><> One night Mrs Gruber tottered into the bedroom on stiletto heels wearing a blue-state blue lace teddy w/ coordinated beads.....carrying a vial of botox in one hand and a box of Rice-a-Roni in the other hand.
"Guess who I am," she said brightly.
"Gee, I don't know," Jonathan said lamely, beat from crunching numbers all day.
"I'm Nancy Pelosi, " she replied.
Jonathan ripped off his clothes...ready for a wild night of hot Rice-a-Roni.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.