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An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!" They all asked the farmer how it tasted. "I don’t know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. "Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one." "Okay," says the butcher. "Let me see what I have left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. "That's one is too skinny. What else you got?" says the man. The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man. "Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!"

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

Here's a couple jokes---in case Prog/Libs are scrounging off your T/giving feast.

<><> Mrs Gruber bought a fancy nightgown to celebrate their wedding anniversary. When she put it on, Gruber griped about the "lack of transparency."

<><> Mrs Gruber confided to her BFF that to get Jonathan in a romantic mood, she coos in his ear. When she whispers "stupid Americans," Jonathan gets so aroused, he delivers wild, uninhibited sex.

<><> Spicing up your sex life by cooing "Stupid Americans" is the number one sex aid in Progressive circles---b/c Progressives cant get aroused unless they "feel good" about themselves.

<><> Progressive sex aids are doing wonders---so much so that Viagra sales are (cough) down---since Progressives are the (cough) biggest users of Viagra.

<><> One night Mrs Gruber tottered into the bedroom on stiletto heels wearing a blue-state blue lace teddy w/ coordinated beads.....carrying a vial of botox in one hand and a box of Rice-a-Roni in the other hand.

"Guess who I am," she said brightly.

"Gee, I don't know," Jonathan said lamely, beat from crunching numbers all day.

"I'm Nancy Pelosi, " she replied.

Jonathan ripped off his clothes...ready for a wild night of hot Rice-a-Roni.