Posted on 10/17/2014 6:21:13 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Ok, I tried cheating today because my "dropbox" folder somehow went missing and I can't find the work I put together yesterday...and my first thread got pulled. So have at it folks...I'm out of humor right now.
what dudes wear for Halloween:
IN!
Michigan State Police have announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles, with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, 2 tons of heroin, $12 million in forged bills and a ring of 14 prostitutes, all in a housing project behind the Detroit Public Library.
Detroit folks were stunned.
A community organizer said: “We be shocked! We never knowed we had a library.........”
In, and thats all that couts..
The Anhauser Bush Legion. Someone might wanna remind them many of those Roman Legionaries were ...ah...well..sexually progressive in their views...
A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Jacksonville.
He tells the priest, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
Last night, I beat the hell out of an Obama supporter.”
The priest says, “My son, I’m here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service.”
LMAO!
Fourteen year old boys are placed on this earth so that fourteen year old girls will give more serious consideration to life-path choices other than marriage.
It was the first day back at school in Birmingham, England.
The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils.
“Mustafa al Eih Zeri?” - “Here.”
“Achmed El Kabul?” - “Here.”
“Fatima Bin Pardin? “ - “Here.”
“Ali Abdul Olmi?” - “Here.”
“Mohammed Bin Kadir?” - “Here.”
“Ali Son al En?” - Silence in the classroom.
“Ali Son al En?”- Continued silence, as everyone looked around the room .
The teacher repeated the call, “Ali Son al En?”
Then a girl stood up and said,
“Sorry, teacher, I think that’s me. It’s pronounced Allison Allen.”
Snotty Receptionist
Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.
The waiting room was filled with patients. As I approached the receptionist’s desk, I noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. I gave her my name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me, a now very embarrassed man.
But as usual, I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.
The room erupted in applause! DON’T MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS!!!
Happy, Happy! Joy, Joy!
Two Mexicans overheard talking:
“I took my freend bowling and ebola pretty good!!”
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