New Gun Buyers Are Being Asked To Declare Sexual Orientation and Plans For The Weekend

Original Content | 9/22/2014 | Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

People who purchase new guns are being forced to disclose sexual orientation and specific, detailed plans for the upcoming weeked, in the latest amendment to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosive (BATFE) agency's Form 4473 that was issued as of September 1, 2014.

Gun retailers said that the buyer may select one of the 12 sexual orientation options, and that failure to select an option was considered a violation, and very tacky as well. The options, copied verbatim from the form, are as follows:

• Dirty, stinking, breeding Heterosexual
• Superior, wonderful Homosexual
• Transvestite
• Transexual
• Pansexual
• Asexual
• Gender Questioning
• Intersex
• Gender Fluid
• Quantum Gender
• Transgender unspecified
• Inanimate-Object Attracted

Once orientation is selected, the buyer is required to fill in a box that states their specific evening plans for the weekend that immediately follows the purchase.

Buyers and gun-retailers say they’re concerned about how the information will be used. “This issue concerns me deeply because, first, it’s offensive, and, secondly, I'm not even sure what to put on the form,” said Olive Allovitt, who is a lawyer who specializes in firearms law. "I saw lots of options, but I don't see any selection for we who prefer to love rutabagas and other vegetables. I don't think the "Inanimate-Object Attracted" option quite describes us."

The BATFE said the form change was required because agents are finding themselves unable to match up to a given buyer for a 'good time'. “The OMB requires agencies to ask both sexuality and plans for the weekend, in a specific manner (as done on [Form 4473]), and this information is only used to secure qualified officers dates, overnights, and other favors,” ATF spokesperson Horn E. Gooser said in an emailed response to the news site.

U. Gottabee Kiddin, the American Civil Liberties Union director, says the OMB guideline is overreachinig and intrusive. “There is nothing [in BATFE or OMB’s website links addressing the sexual orientation and availability data-collection] that supports the requirement that BATFE agents be relaxed and free of stress," Kiddin said. "This is clearly an attempt to give agents a chance to hit that," she added.

[blue-duncan]

“U. Gottabee Kiddin”

You forgot the hyphen! That’s “Gottabee-Kiddin”.

Incorrect punctuation is a grievous mistake and renders the entire article suspect.

[Blueflag]

Didn’t realize CeraKote cam in pink and white!

[MrB]

If that technology becomes widespread, our population growth will be less than Japan’s currently is.

And, all the societal decline associated with the destruction of the family, etc.

[Lazamataz]

Nossir. Her name is Ursula Gottabee Kiddin. She goes by her middle name, mostly. So: U. Gottabee Kiddin.

[Lazamataz]

She's got BIG ATTRACTIVE GUNS!

The, er, AR15 is nice too.

[driftdiver]

Where’s your consideration for lonely horses?

[ShadowAce]

Her name is Ursula Gottabee Kiddin

Ahh--So she really is a ewe. :)

[The_Republic_Of_Maine]

A gun for barney frank and mikie michaud.

[Lazamataz]

... and horses with no names?

[Liberty Valance]

lmao! sounds about right.

[driftdiver]

[rockrr]

“Gun-porn” - the love that dares not speak its name - LOL

[blue-duncan]

"U. Gottabee Kiddin, the American Civil Liberties Union director" Look, everyone knows you can't be an American Civil Liberties Union director unless you have a hyphenated name, especially when she is in charge of the official banglist.

[left that other site]

You left out “Two-Spirited”.

I did NOT make that up....

[buffyt]

The gay guys “breed” They are just shooting BLANKS into the wrong hole....

[buffyt]

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Charles Martel]

Dirty, stinking, breeding Heterosexual

AND... loving it!

[deoetdoctrinae]

I will immediately be filing suit against these new regulations, through my law firm of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe.

[Vermont Lt]

I think I will answer, “Queer as a three dollar bill” and “Weekend full of sodomite grossness.”

That will get me in good with the authorities.

[Lazamataz]

I wasn't going to ping alla y'all, but maybe this is a decent-enough piece.

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Credit for original picture to The Oatmeal